Sidebar

I’m ten years old and just won enough money performing in a group at a talent show to buy the toy I’d had my eye on for months. This is how the story of my first regret begins.  Read full article here.

Thanks for joining us. Tune in next season.

“Inspiration” is an odd word to see written in the same sentence as “suicide.” Nevertheless, I was inspired to write this paper by a speaker at a recent webinar on well-being in law. Asked for her proudest accomplishment since joining a big law firm as its wellness officer, the speaker pointed unequivocally to the normalization of words such as “depression,” “anxiety,” and even “suicide.” She felt...

Think everybody else has figured out a special something that you have yet to discover? They haven’t. Worried secretly that you are, at best, deficient, at worst, a fraud that has no business practicing law, sitting on the bench, or holding your current position? You aren’t. And you are not alone. In fact, if I had to identify the most consistent complaint or issue that attorneys and judges strugg...

Join us for an interview with Warren Savage, senior claims attorney at Lawyers Mutual, as he reflects on what he has seen with lawyer mental health over the years. In this episode Robynn and Warren reference 2013 FEO 8 .

Humility is not a word commonly associated with lawyers, but it is something I learned in recovery, and found essential in the study and practice of law. When I got sober, the “old timers” taught me that humility was the process of being teachable. One old timer said “humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” Read full article here.

I am a lawyer and an alcoholic, but not necessarily in that order. I was an alcoholic long before I even considered becoming a lawyer. I don’t believe that the inherently stressful nature of the practice of law caused or even exacerbated my alcoholic drinking. I do believe that because I am a lawyer I was offered the care and assistance of the Lawyer Assistance Program of the North Carolina State...

Valentine’s Day—handcuffed and removed from my home at 10:38 am. “Success” had been attained—married, healthy, gifted children, financially secure, a steady stream of new clients coming through the firm doors. I had “made it”—a thriving, 65-hour-a-week litigation practice that consumed most of my waking energy, leaving little for everything else. Read the full article here.

Despite the many challenges in today’s world–particularly practicing law during the pandemic–there are likely at least a few moments in your day when something good happens. Life-affirming moments that spark joy, bring a smile to your face, or make you laugh are what nervous system expert and author Deb Dana calls a “glimmer.” Read full article here .

The wheels came off the day the bar results arrived. I have no idea how long I had been an alcoholic drinker by then, but I have a few guesses where it started. Years prior, I was in a serious accident, hitting the pavement at more than 55 miles per hour. A couple of surgeries and more than a decade of rehab later and I still feel discomfort every day. At the time, painkillers made me nauseou...

People take the anonymity thing very seriously. I personally believe that it is not because of some high-minded adherence to the principle of anonymity, but because of a deep-seated internal sense of shame and fear of lost opportunity. Read the full article here.

Something interesting happened when the world screeched to a halt and the courts closed in mid-March. The lawyers we work with as volunteers and clients did not respond as everyone predicted lawyers would. A feeling arose in many of our volunteers and clients that had them scratching their heads. For many of our LAP participants, inexplicably, this feeling seemed to eclipse most everything else. T...

My son is an addict. His addiction has had a profound impact on my life. Addiction—which includes alcoholism—is a disease, and it wreaks havoc on family members as well as the addict. In this 2-part article a LAP Volunteer shares about recovery on the family side.... Read Part 1 . Read Part 2 .

I am smart. I really enjoy using my smarts to solve problems: logic problems, crossword puzzles, strangers needing directions, my clients’ problems, my friends’ problems, and my family’s problems. But, fixing problems has a sinister side, just like any addiction, and one can develop compassion fatigue. The best way to explain “compassion fatigue” comes from my therapist. During a session, as I was...

I’m here because somebody, maybe somebody reading this, dimed me out. Threw me under the bus. Lied about me to the authorities. Said I was drunk in court. The truth is, I have never been drunk in court: yet. Never been drunk at the office…yet. Never lost my driver’s license because I’d been driving drunk…yet. Never been disciplined by the bar for an unethical act committed while drinking or drunk…...

One of the most-used words during the pandemic has been the word “change.” Each of our personal and professional worlds has undergone countless micro and macro changes; some for better, others for worse. The amount of adjustments we have been forced to make during the pandemic is almost incomprehensible to our brains and nervous systems. While we may have successfully adapted in countless ways, ou...

When I think back and remember the latter part of my active alcoholism and its impact on my family, more than anything else, I think of the extraordinary amount of time I spent trying to hide my drinking. It felt like I spent almost all my time either hiding the purchase of alcohol, hiding the use of it (and then lying about the use of it), and attempting to hide all evidence—usually by throwing a...

Alcohol is not my problem. It never was. My problem is me. Always has been and always will be. And the problem follows me wherever I go. I struggle to accept my imperfections or acknowledge that I make mistakes. I have trouble admitting that I am not the best at everything. When I was in the first grade, my optimist league basketball team made the championship game. We lost, and I received a secon...

While driving to the coast recently, I was listening to Tara Brach’s book Radical Acceptance. Brach is known for encouraging her readers and listeners to face and walk through their fears and problems. It made me think of that night of my first AA meeting where I uttered the magic words for the first time. There was something powerful in stating publicly what I had known for years but refused to a...

At the start, it was a starburst of luminous warmth. It was fun, it was freeing, it was sophisticated. It was summer beers, sunset champagne toasts, French martinis and obscure Italian wines. I started drinking because it made me relaxed and connected and  in love . I felt closer to people around me, to myself, to the buzzing hum of energy I called God. Drinking helped me inch from chrysalis...

The judge said he hoped to see me on the other side of the bar in 5 years. I thought to myself: There’s no reason it should take me five years to pass the bar. After all, I had already been sober for about a year, and it had been almost 2 years since my third DUI. It’s an unfortunate story, but definitely not unique. I had graduated law school, but then bar study met my best friend, King Alcohol....

Mid-November 2000 I was lying on a couch in my office with the lights out, hoping the room would stop spinning. It was around 8:30 am and I found myself in the same situation again: hung over at work and desperate. I was desperate not to have to go to court and act like everything was okay. I felt empty and fearful. I was disgusted with myself and felt no hope. My life seemed to be one big black h...

21 months into the pandemic, many lawyers are on the verge of collapse. In this latest edition of the Mindful Moment with Laura Mahr of Conscious Legal Minds, Laura takes us through a short exercise we can use to rewire our brains when the world does not feel OK. Link to the full article here .

Welcome to Sidebar, brought to you by North Carolina’s Lawyer Assistance Program, where lawyers help lawyers by sharing their experience, strength, and hope as they delve into their personal journeys of recovery. We’ll initiate and guide the conversation with lawyers and judges, who will share stories, insights, lessons, and tools discovered along the way with the intention of relieving the stress...