Shutdown Fullcast

THE FULLCAST RIDES FOR WEEK FIVE, which hits status as “a pretty good week” because it contains both “college football” and “passably good college football.” We tried to be quick about it, which went about as well as that usually does. TOPICS: --Spencer gets very excited about the best noon slate of the year, while Ryan and Jason remind him that it is still a noon slate --Why Tennessee suddenly ca...

Florida State now has the same conference record as Boston College. This is just a fact we're offering you, and not in any way a commentary on the quality of the 2016 Seminoles. Other facts we discuss this week include: - Tennessee's smart decision to spend all its bad luck in 2015 so this year can be nothing but amazing comebacks - Washington making Stanford look Walt Harrisian - Identifying the...

Okay, so we recorded the preview episode for week five during a thunderstorm and that went about as well as it could during a thunderstorm. That is, it went badly, even by the already low audio standards of the Fullcast. The topics. covered through difficult conditions because we are GRITTY: --Tennessee/Georgia playing a game that if the SEC East made sense would end with a decisive Tennessee vict...

This week Jason and I are joined by new SB Nation recruit Richard Johnson for what is mostly an hour plus of commiseration over the following: --The immense hole in our hearts the departure of Les Miles has left, and who can attempt to fill it but fail --Who will end up taking the LSU job, and why they won't be as cool as Les Miles, even though they might be a better coach and win more games and s...

Did we need to drop a 15 minute express SPITECAST for Florida/Tennessee? No, but if we told you we got Holly Anderson for it? THEN IT BECAME ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. Holly and Spencer talk about the essentials of the rivalry, which is now basically about fear and a mutual hatred of what this has turned us into after 15 years of enforced mutual hatred. WE ARE MONSTERS. BORED, HATEFUL MONSTERS. Learn m...

The theme for week four -- which we decided after an arduous twenty seconds of thought --- is that there is nothing but pain in every direction, and that every team playing this weekend can only lose. There are no victories to be had, and only losses of varying degree. Topics explaining this bold thesis! --Oregon playing Colorado, a team they can't beat by enough point to feel good about after a s...

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Week three is full of extremely random but extremely good games, so most of this podcast is actually taken up by football talk. Like, at least 51% of the podcast, a new record for the Shutdown Fullcast. TOPICS: --A warm-up on light regional accents, including the unbelievable Pittsburgh accent and a quick review of how delightfully ironic it is when people from Wisconsin call you a hick --We swear...

Week Two's review is, like the week itself, far more interesting than advertised, even if it did drive Verne Lundquist to openly ask for distraction during the death throes of the Kentucky/Florida game. (Death throes = anything past the first quarter.) TOPICS: --How Jason just skipped this whole weekend and almost cried when Andre 3000 came out for "Black Ice" at the Dungeon Family reunion show --...

--Week two is so bad Spencer stumbles over the intro before the show even starts --Oh, we get to discuss Texas/ND and Ole Miss/FSU! Which were both pleasing to the hater in different and yet still equally satisfying parts --A review of Iowa v. Iowa State, aka ¡El Assico!, the game some Iowa fans get mad at us for even noticing. "It's like you're pooping in the woods and someone looks." ---Jason Ki...

Remember that thing where SEC teams were going to start playing real teams to start the season, and not cupcake games against the overmatched dregs of FCS? THAT MAY HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE. Ryan, Jason, and Spencer review the first weekend of the season up until Sunday, which we do not cover because we recorded this early on Sunday, when Notre Dame lost to Texas. It would have been fun to talk about N...

WEEK ONE IS HERE. The internet's only college football podcast starts off the 2016 college football season with: --a super important conversation about people Spencer does not look like, because...football? --how we love Cal for not mattering, ever --why we decide to begin the greatest sport's season every year with South Carolina football, a brand sure to drive horrified new viewers away in drove...

Two former SEC linemen join Jason and Ryan while Spencer is lost in the mountains. They talk about: - fried chicken chains and the unspeakable world of on-campus food delivery - the merits of blocking vs. muting on Twitter - whether college offensive linemen are really as unprepared as NFL scouts complain they are - strength coaches - the merits of scheduling FCS opponents - the very small differe...

The fire code gets tossed out the window on this episode, with special guests Bill Connelly (Podcast Ain't Played Nobody), Dan Rubenstein (The Solid Verbal), Bud Elliott (Tomahawk Nation), and Brian Floyd (Lost in the Upside Down). This ragtag crew is faced with the task of: - Figuring out what the hell we did with those season predictions, and why - Selecting the most generic FBS school - Threate...

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The final preview episode! We're there, at last, but not before an intro where we talk about how playing in Detroit in the NFL is like the Dark Souls of football career challenges, and maybe a quick diversion into Botched, the best worst show on television. These two concepts are definitely related. The final teams: --BAMA. Mostly just us making things up about how they're not going to drag everyo...

You know, just because we say you're getting two podcasts in a week doesn't mean you're getting a good pair of podcasts. This isn't entirely our fault: the random assortment of teams came up with not one, but TWO teams in the state of Illinois. This was doomed from the start. Topics include: --A quick discussion of the hierarchy of cheap-ass grocery store chains, and a reminder that HEB hands out...

Oh it's DOUBLE FULLCAST WEEK. This one might as well be the Brunch episode, because it involves a few prime ingredients (look, we're talking about Florida State, an excellent football team) mixed in with the lesser leftovers from the week you might not want to serve by themselves. (Hello, Indiana and Vanderbilt.) Topics include: --More yelling about FSU's Dalvin Cook, who should have been the Heis...

WE BACK. The summer preview quite literally rolls on, at least in Jason's case, since he recorded his portion in the car this week in transit to SEC Media Days. Does Jason, recording in his car on a phone over the ineptly paved and uneven highways of Alabama, still sound better than recording over Indiana internet? Yes, yes it does. You're better than Indiana at something, Alabama! STICK THAT CHES...

Jason joined us from Indiana to record this one from inside what sounds like a steamer trunk filled with spiders. We will never, ever let Jason do this again, or we will put him back inside a very real steamer trunk filled with spiders. The teams previewed this week are: --Mississippi State! Goddammit, Dan Mullen, you gigantic idiot. That and "Dak Prescott is gone" are your whole preview. --LSU! W...

Why did we discuss USC? Mostly to remind you no one knows who their coach is, and so we could play out the gag of not saying his name to make you look up who it is. Oh, and to make Ryan go back when Spencer forgot the gag, said his name, and then forced Ryan to edit in some extremely dope music over the guy's name at the 9:30 mark. Topics! (THEY'RE CALLIN' AGAIN.) --What USC will look like in 2016...

FARMERS ONLY THIS WEEK. The Shutdown Fullcast this week covers the agriculturingest slate of teams we've covered yet, including: --Nebraska, a team that on further examination reveals itself to have absolutely no predictability whatsoever for 2016. None. Look at that schedule and find more than two sure wins or two sure losses in either direction. Do it and die. --Virginia, an outlier here because...

The Shutdown Fullcast Random Previews continue with four very interesting, important, and/or intriguing teams. There is also Maryland. We're sorry, but there is also some Maryland in there. Topics include: --Maryland! We talk about the Terps first, largely to get them out of the way because it's gonna be a rebuilding year even if it will be an interesting one. Spencer thinks they'll lose to FIU! T...

SO after last week's debacle where our readers accidentally selected the worst slate of teams possible to preview for 2016, we took matters into our own hands. This week we preview five teams that could not only be very good this year, but who could also theoretically win things and be fun to watch and stuff. Also, Jason is not broadcasting from the middle of a driving rainstorm this week. He's in...

SO that whole thing where Ryan assigned random numbers to teams and had readers select our previewed squads by those numbers? It flopped a handful of unsuited garbage this week, as the randomness called forth pure Lovecraftian horror. (Spoiler: Lovecraftian horror in football terms equals not one, but TWO BOTTOM-DWELLING ACC TEAMS IN ONE PREVIEW.) We'd apologize, but y'all opened this hellmouth, n...