Shutdown Fullcast

Imagining the world’s first gig economy coal mine! See beautiful Hispaniola, by crate! Spencer operates the annual coaching carousel quiz and it turns out Wakeyleaks has leaked entirely out of our skulls  SOME SORT OF BUTCH JONES WORMHOLE OCCURS  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

 - Hey y’all, Les Miles got fired in the middle of this show, and we pivoted about as adeptly as you might expect.   - Which American fast food chain serves a CHICKEN SANDWICH AS A SIDE ITEM AT BREAKFAST, but NOT IN AMERICA?  - What color y’all reckon Prince Philip’s blood is? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’re probably not going to play professional football, so how should you decide where to attend college? Our academic survey can tell you!  The “Which school has the most convenient parking" answers won’t surprise you; the “Which school has the best food" answers definitely will! Also covered: The crucial categories of “waterslide availability" and “places to take a nap in public" Eat shit, US N...

Stop asking us if it’s Blood Week every time a ranked team loses, you’ll know when it’s Blood Week, this applies to FCS ball too  Holy shit that was an amazingly bloody Blood Week of FCS ball even by our own hemoglobin-happy standards  Spencer is trying to get us into F1 Why have none of y’all ever informed us that “international go-karting” was an available career option Does anybody know how to...

 - Hey y’all, it’s the FCS draft episode, where we overcome our current general disdain for sports to pick spring football teams!  - Featuring a brief but violent detour into the Boise State-Idaho rivalry!  - Our collective safari into perfecting our Maine accents continues?  - Never admit what is or isn’t gumbo on the internet.  - “Spencer, I have a money question" Learn more about your ad choice...

 - It’s our advanced sports analytics episode! How advanced? Advanced past what? Mind your own business!  - What are we using our film review skills for? Breaking down that Oklahoma bathroom fight, are you new here?  - As a team, we feel pretty confident we could perform a number of basic medical procedures in the field. Listen along to find out which!  - Adding to the ever-expanding roster of bas...

--Can't sleep, must think about Baconator --an ode to the most essential Panda Express on the planet --All Gus Malzahn does is cash checks he will never spend --Everyone belongs to one of four human tribes: The Zappers, Wild Aces, Beasts, or Glacier Boyz --Holly challenges us to work onside kicks into every sport --YE ATE ME DART --Spencer just wants to steal horses  Learn more about your ad choic...

--Why is Ben Franklin smiling on the 100 bill? Because he's pantsless --NCAA FOOTBALL IS BACK! (Again. Not more than it was. On the way? BACK.) --Ryan on why Congress should pass legislation to bring back Banjo and Kazooie --A brief diversion into a musical about Aaron Burr slapping Alexander Hamilton to death --Which schools in the new NCAA video game that should be inherently corrupt --The chall...

--Spencer is described by his co-workers as "a dog with a plunger" --Play the game "EPL name or NFL Assistant" --Jason demands that you LEARN. FOOTBALL. --Tom Brady, the ultimate "let's get a game-winning FG" QB ever --An alternate history where Mike Vick steals whale sharks from the GA Aquarium --We turn Kirby Smart into a Turkish soccer team  --Imagining the living hell of raising five Gronkowsk...

--Spencer and Ryan duel to see who can hold the longest WELLLCOME, and Spencer almost dies --a review of the DIAMOND HANDS LIFESTYLE, or how the whole world is living the #FullcastLyfe now --A review of Ren Faires, and why they are not Med Faires --Jared Goff is smarter than all of us --Matt Stafford, Daydrinking Nap God --Picking out teams clearly free-riding on other teams' effort --How almost e...

Why are you even asking if we bought GameStop stock? Of course we bought GameStop stock Spencer invented a game! That’s not as bad as it sounds! Why are you flinching? Anyway, the game goes like this: Can you pick hit or miss coaching hires throughout history based solely on their records? Turns out we can’t, but we CAN reunite Ryan with his coaching spirit soulmate Which former Colorado head coac...

It’s the cryptocurrency episode! Spencer wants to invest $100 in bitcoin live on the air, and we may not be able to talk him out of it! The Vitruvian Man, updated for the modern age! (it’s Kid Rock, sorry) The four bodily humors, updated for the modern age! (one of them is Fritos, sorry) In honor of the NFL playoffs, the team goes looking for the best clam chowder in Tampa, sorry  Learn more about...

We can exclusively report that Homophobic Country Ham With A Headset On It has turned down the Tennessee job An abbreviated list of players and coaches about whom we have been Quite Wrong, footballishly speaking So we’ll be talking about Josh Allen for quite a bit Just draft Bama guys, anybody named after an Egyptian allfather, and Rondale Moore Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoic...

In keeping with Fullcast tradition, we belly-flop into the offseason by restarting our Disasters Playlist, this time centered around “times you have set things on fire that were not supposed to be on fire.”  Includes the following instant-classic story elements:            • “We did not have a fireplace.”            • “The smoke was visible for miles around.”            • “Ants survived.”         ...

Ill-advised napping locations we have known Sark Week goes sideways, fast Injuries invented during the course of this episode: sex hernia, gamer’s knee, online toe  Right, the title game  So: What is “the failure state”? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

 - Definitely forgot we had to do one more show before the title game! We are so tired!  - Magnets, fondly remembered  - Make time for an old friend, and for Meatloaf  - If you’ve read this far, we feel comfortable disclosing you are now a member of the John Wick Fitness Empirium. Cancel anytime!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

* Folks, they called the Senate runoffs pretty much right in the middle of recording this thing, and then they cancelled Caillou, and we found out about all of this mid-show, so just bear with us okay * There may or may not be a title game in five days, sure  * Holly becomes the final Fullcasteer to come up with a voice that she is never allowed to do on the show again * A robust amount of NFL coa...

—Jacksonville’s mayor wants to fight people —Why you can’t legally call paying Lane Kiffin “an investment” —Ryan tells Notre Dame why you can’t be aggressively cautious during a football game  —Clay Helton, formulated for the sensitive stomachs of senior cats  —KIRBY! —The Italian Christmas Donkey was the Lamborghini of 32 AD  —#Justice4Han Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.co...

Ted Lasso, McDonalds meme history, and surprisingly affordable Soviet underwater spear guns: You’re g-d right it’s bowl season Ronald Reagan’s arming Bills fans! Flee for your lives! We finally get Ryan to admit he’s our lawyer, on tape One (1) reader question, answered Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Christmas gifts, reviewed  Fast food chicken situations of the Roman Empire, reviewed   Some football, reviewed  A slightly abridged history of medicine  Cheez-It Bowl preview! Sure! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Lotta sniffles in this episode folks! Hope you and yours are holding up better than we are On the anniversary of Spencer revealing he thinks reindeer are some sort of dog, we have just about got him convinced sharks are mammals A rare appearance by our producer, Surber, with thrilling results  An extended bedtime story to remind our readers of the true reason for the season: goat festival crimes L...

 - Jetski crimes, again  - But different jetski crimes, this time  - Playoffs, sure, whatever   - Ryan makes Holly cry, not for any of the usual reasons  - Any of y’all ever try fishing with a Taser? Please let us know Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

--A man jetskied across the Irish Sea for love and he wasn't even from Alabama --How a dad jailed for jetskiing to another country could never parent effectively again --Ryan auditions for the CFB Playoff committee --Actual impassioned profane hollerin' about the very bad playoff rankings --No one cares about downtrodden underdog USC (no really, it's a thing) --"When Greg McElroy is on the barrica...

Welcome to the Spartacus multiverse  Which US state has the most snakes? The answer may surprise you! Jason and Ryan conduct a protracted legal battle of wills  Auburn’s up to some Auburn antics, Auburnly  Investment advice for the newly wealthier Gus Malzahn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

--We TALK ABOUT THE BUCKS. (Because we have to.) --The super-cursed excellent life of Justin Fields --The playoff rankings are still scared of Coastal Carolina --Army/Navy is happening in a regular weekend, world is ending --LSU is the problem that never gets fixed --"I watched them take my team apart like a cheap chicken" --What ancient empire built a wall around its recruiting territory? --How B...