Shut up a Second

In which our heroes dress up in costumes, get permission from their parents to go out trick or treating and eat stale chocolate as they talk about ghouls for the Shut Up It's Halloween Special. We waste wishes on chips and dip, give wet Dobby a lift and worry about Johnson B. Ghoul's existential well being. Jackson asks which 1970's genie show is better, Duscher wants to donate his body to ghouls...

In which our heroes fill her up with premium 98, put the pedal to the metal, and instantly get a parking fine as we discuss automobiles. We make wheels out of fruit, learn about the greatest inventor who ever lived and discover just how jelly really works. Jackson sets unexplainable alarms, Zoe has never had banana chips and Duscher just wants to use coal to power a car. So join the gang as they d...

In which our heroes listen out for the conductors whistle, check the nearest timetable, and make sure they have their boarding pass ready as they discuss trains. We deliver instruments in the worst way possible, learn a little about whale dicks, and cast our doubts on the real scariness of trains. Jackson is not convinced by the benefits of locomotives, Duscher has a train inception thing going on...

In which our heroes get on stage, improvise the starting song and giggle with the crowd while we discuss Australia LIVE! We give animals peanut butter, get the Skippy Bush Kangaroo cast drunk and work out where Lassie is from. Jackson has a backup hypothetical, Zoe slaps a saddle on a crocodile, Tessa tries to take over and Duscher is just worried about Zoe’s loved ones. So join the gang as they c...

In which our heroes put their tray tables up, their seats in an upright position, and stow their luggage beneath their seats as they discuss planes. We try to work out if we can replace our genitals with aircraft, do bad German accents, and discover the history of Fanta. Jackson make children’s playgrounds more dangerous, Zoe takes naps in all the movies she mentions and Duscher just wants to talk...

In which our heroes get illuminated, have some great ideas, dance around the street lamps and discuss light bulbs. We discuss the appropriate sound effects for a good or bad idea, which orifice would be the best light source and spend a lot of time talking about Emily Eyefinger. Jackson is mad at Ant-Man for not taking advantage of his situation, special guest Sophie Kneebone goes for broke when d...

In which our heroes sway with the wind, get infested with beetles and are turned into wood pulp as they discuss trees. We wonder what a bonsai tastes like, discover why vegetarians won’t eat figs and learn about a tree that has a vendetta against the human race. Jackson forgets sasquatches aren’t a real thing, Zoe reminds us once again how stupid pandas are, and Zammit just wants to know why Marky...

In which our heroes purr like a cat, hiss like a cat, and meow like a cat as they discuss all things cats! We feel uncomfortable about cat tongues, navigate by the sun and try to work out the story of Puss in Boots. Jackson comes up with great animal names, Duscher is on the squid train and Zoe just can’t bear to live in a world without cats. So join the gang as they cough up a hairball and rub th...

In which our heroes look into a crystal ball and just see a screaming crab-man, select the kicked-in-the-head-by-a-mule tarot card from the deck and have their palms read by a shady gypsy in a caravan as they discuss fate. We put Jesus on the moon, make public services announcements and find ghosts in unlikely places. Jackson teaches us who is the real monster, Tessa becomes a truck racer against...

In which our heroes get out their markers, poster paper, and make a five year plan to discuss the future. We struggle to spell types of lettuce, throw a house where a horse’s head should be and wake up in the future-past-future. Jackson injects music into himself, Tessa creates a convoluted scenario to be with sharks and Duscher just wants to forever live in space. So join the gang as they travel...

In which our heroes get distracted by shiny objects, become the animalistic embodiment of ferrying souls of the dead and apply for the job of being Odin’s eyes as they discuss crows. We discuss the origin of Sing a Song of Sixpence, get spooked about the terrifying memory of crows and poorly remember the plot of 1994 classic, The Crow. Jackson loves a fat pigeon, Alli reveals her true size and Emz...

In which our heroes buy gifts Dad clearly doesn’t want, make him veggies for breakfast with an egg and help him with the garden in preparation for the Baly Family Circus Part 2: Father’s Day Special! We get scared of cows and other farmyard animals, try to find out where we can’t get a recreational wheelchair and smell cardboard. Jackson is unhappy with his arms, John tells us about his fridge whe...

In which our heroes celebrate 100 episodes by going back to their humble beginnings, include Duscher in on their original discussion and drink to 100 more as they discuss puberty… again. We commemorate the fact that nothing’s changed, talk about the horrors of second puberty and compare stretch marks. Jackson wears glasses, Duscher ages like a wet handbag and Zoe hasn’t changed 50 episodes on and...

In which our heroes build houses using Edison’s famous mould, crumble under pressure and conclude the fan favourite Meat rhyming trilogy with Meat Part III: ‘Crete… as in Concrete. It’s a heavy journey as the gang attempt to seal everything with concrete, plug up their orifices to enable space travel and most importantly discuss the bear code. Jackson shows off his newest sculpture ‘Inside a Cow’,...

In which our heroes kick off their shoes, throw away their socks and just let it all hang out while discussing Meat Part II: Feet. This week we try to replace feet with animals, judge society’s wealth by the intensity of their forehead bruises and ultimately figure out what's faster; horses or cows? Tessa once again dies against her will, Duscher explores the realities of having one leg slower tha...

In which our heroes grab their swords and boards, don full plate amour and eat an orange as they discuss dragons. We wonder what a Chinese Dragon would taste like, obtain our own hoards from small town folk and Bed, Bath and Beyond, try to work out the difference between a dragon and a wyrm and integrate Muppets as much as possible. Jackson gets angry about intelligent dragons, Zammit gets angry a...

In which our heroes find places to hide, brace for impact and ride it out as they discuss earthquakes. We discuss the benefits of government mandated free wizards in disaster relief, wonder why Poseidon has horses in his repertoire of things under his domain and see which movie would be enhanced with a surprise earthquake. Jackson doesn’t think he would survive an earthquake in any situation, Zoe...

In which our heroes boil the kettle, brew, infuse and sip on a good ol’ cuppa joe and discuss hot beverages. We question why pineapple doughnuts even came to be, how incompetent the emperors of history are, and how sassy coffee really is. Jackson can’t tell the difference between teas, Duscher gets amped up by people spilling hot coffee on their dicks and Alli just cannot deal with getting betraye...

In which our heroes forget to pack sunscreen, drink too much sea water, misspell HELP with pieces of driftwood and discuss desert islands. We try to figure out the best celebrity to hate-share an island with, create a list of island rules and spend a decent chunk of time trying to avoid being killed by the dangerous island tiger. Jackson mourns the fact that his hair is not island strong, Tessa en...

In which our heroes under go a metamorphosis to become even more handsomer, burrow through several layers of dirt, and collect leaf litter to make a tiny house as we discuss bugs. We discuss the beginnings of a serial killer, confuse some bugs with some other bugs, and call out worms for their heart greed. Jackson is a weevil-fanatic, Alli is mad at her cat for not taking care of the bug problem,...

In which our heroes get their strings cut, remove the hand from out of their butt, and speak for themselves as we discuss puppets. We end up in a giant man made sock puppet outfit, debate the potential benefit of being a ventriloquist dummy when it comes to walnuts and why certain puppets are just terrifying. Jackson jumps in way too fast and way too quickly, Tessa informs us about a very special...

In which our heroes put on a bloody apron, head to the nearest abattoir and hack up a carcass as they discuss meat. We discuss the titles of our new albums, the employment of skeletons, and all the different kind of things you can sausage. Jackson’s world crumbles around him instantaneously, Tessa once again ends up imprisoned, and Duscher just wants zoning permission to build his beef shithouse....

In which our heroes drink some holy water, eat a clove of garlic and try to stab themselves in the heart as they discuss vampires. We look at the dangers of drinking 80s blood, examine the difference between sheep and vampires, and express our appreciation for Robert Pattison. Jackson wishes he was a caveman vampire, Zoe gets XXX and Blade confused, and Duscher just wants to share his simple metho...

In which our heroes put on their scrubs, sharpen their scalpels, try not to gag at the sight of blood and discuss surgery. We tell the story of Face-Off, bond over terrifying experiences of waking up during surgery and inevitably talk far too much about Robocop. Zammit ponders a life-swap with Billy Joel, Zoe finds herself pressured to join the Joel club, despite her dream of being married to Kany...

In which our heroes get caught in a web, become trapped like flies and struggle to break free as we discuss the terrifying creepy crawly that is spiders. We try to imagine eating spiders, wonder where a goat would expel silk, and sympathise with the people forced to deal with ghost trees. Jackson misremembers something he once heard about frogs, Tessa wonders how thick web really is, and Zoe just...