SG Fun: A Stargate Podcast

Season 5 Episode 19: Menace  We meet the Proto Borg Robot that MADE the Replicators eons ago.  She exclaims that DADDY MADE ME WRONG!  Daniel doesn't hear any of that ableist nonsense and tries to help her.    That and everyone else's (except Teal'c, bless him) bad decisions end up with Replicators ON THE BASE!   This has to be the end, right?  Well, no, because GENERAL ACTION DADDY joins the fray...

Season 5 Episode 18:  The Warrior Well, Teal and Bray Bray go see that the Jaffa Rebellion is alive and well in the hands of a charismatic leader, a man who is SUPER into keeping the rebels fed, SUPER loves help from the SGC, and SUPER DUPER hates the idea and usage of suicide bombers in his outfit.   Actually, he LOOOOOVES all that, so O'Neill is like, "Nah, wrong Jaffa Rebellion.  Let's roll out...

Season 5 Episode 17: Fail Safe You GUYS! The Gate Gang litrally hyperdrives through planet Earth! I didn’t even know they could do that! And it is soooo much smarter than blowing it up. The Gooolds try to sabotage/destroy Earth without openly violating their Assguard treaty and that’s what happens because between you and me, I don’t  think those little grays even care about the Tauri. Tau’ri? Taur...

Season 5 Episode 16:  The Last Stand Yeah, that’s right, Deej continues to come close to murdering some System Lords only to back off at the last minute, ruining the whole situation. Very Frustrating! Small compensation at least that he totally misses out on that nonconsensual body-sharing shit over in the crystal caves when Lantash simply has to have Lt Elliot or he’s “gonna die”. Also, maybe the...

Season 5 Episode 15:  Summit For the love of fuck, every time I watch this episode I get detonate-the-bomb blue balls. DJ is a horrible kill-all-the-system-lords tease.  Zipacna, the coolest Gooldie of them all, is at least getting some work done, as the Tokra are TUH-OAST with the attack of Gou'ld fleet.   Will Daniel grow at LEAST a single, and pull the trigger.  Find out next week.  Two-parter...

Season 5 Episode 14:  48 hours Teal’c is buffering. Literally. Like, he’s operating from an AOL CD, so we won’t see him but for the first and final three seconds of the episode. It has also come to the attention of these dear pod hosts that this one horrible hot pile of steaming microwave-reheated cat turds by the name of Dr. McKay is somehow a beloved regular on Atlantis? Frozen Siberian Tundra m...

Season 5 Episode 13:  Proving Ground Listen. Look. These cadets are almost like having a kid leading the episode. It’s whatever, but for some reason the SG-C is designing elaborate scenarios to get the Big Top Boy cadet to pass the training even though the Dainty Little Miss cadet is already there at the start of the episode with no extra help? As a great man once asked, “Why don’t you put her in...

Season 5 Episode 12:  Wormhole X-Treme I know the one where Sam and MacNeil basically express their romantic love for each other because they’re separated by a goooold shield wall thingy and think they’re dying is also good, OK.  But in this episode, frequent double dipping creative consultant Peter DeLouise makes sure we know whom he’d cast as Colonel Jack O’Neill with two els, his wee little bro...

Season 5 Episode 11: Desperate Measures Jack’s real bestie is back in town baybee! Hutch. Or Starsky. Carter cannot literally not even catch a break! She is kidnapped leaving the gym, a fantastic reason to never work out. Or leave the house. Anyhoozle, that Jolinar schtick really bites her in that ass this week. Ultimately the Gate Gang comes out on top in this one. Wild, I know.   Also, HAPPY 100...

Season 5 Episode 10:  2001 Hey y'all, remember in the Episode "2010" when the note that got through the gate was O'Neil's.  Not Daniel's, not Sam's, but Macguver's quite minimalistic, "DON'T GO HERE!"  followed by the planet number.   Well, turns out it would have been nice if he had added the word "Ashen People", "Sterility," "Fuck these Assholes,"  ANYTHING, because we almost GET what happened i...

Season 5 Episode 9:  Can you even?! These sanctimonious Tolan dicks (who let’s not forget know how to separate gooooolds from hosts but keep it to themselves and help like, um no one) continue to demonstrate that they are selfish little twats. They try to sell out Earth to that huge prick Tanith. Narim is the best Tolan and probably Sam’s best boyfriend in the series, so it is a huge bummer that h...

Season 5 Episode 8:  The Tomb In this Fraggle Rock/SG-1 crossover from Hell, the Gate Gang and their Russian pals get chased (and in some cases horrifically killed) by the grossest Fraggle. Luckily one Russian survives to prove that SG-1 didn’t do a whole bunch of murders on the Russians. So yeah, post-Cold War relations are probably leading to a pretty great future of abundance and cooperation. M...

Season 5 Episode 7:  Beast of Burden Sooooo, remember in like episode four of this whole entire series when Daniel Jackson was like maybe rape is just part of their way of life and we definitely shouldn’t intervene in this one happening right in front of us? Yeah, he’s equally squishy on at least race-based slavery. These white saviors plus Teal’c get some Unas killed during their rescue only to g...

Season 5 Episode 6: Rite of Passage Remember that little alien kid who is also human and was also a big bomb that only love could disarm? Somehow she is 16! What! What’s the passage-of-time sitch on this show? Very soap operatic at the moment. So Cassy kissed a boy, Dominic, and I guess hated it? She’s sick as fuck now. I guess her horny teen hormones have activated some goooldy science experiment...

Season 5 Episode 5:  Red Sky  WOOF, did the Gate Gang ever fuck up. They’ve punched a whole in someone’s sun and now the whole planet of like 30 people is dying but refusing to relocate. I mean, more people would fit in a city bus, but OK sure, stay and die. Those annoying Disneyland-esque Hall of Viking God’s holograms are in this one, hooray for sure. Oh! MacNeill literally almost chokes a man t...

Season 5 Episode 4:  The Fifth Man Remember last week when MacNeill acted like Sam was loonsaroony for having an invisible stalker? Ha! Now he’s risking his whole life for his good buddy who isn’t really real but should be because ay ai ai, have you seen this man? I mean, it does turn out he is not even half as fine as his profile pic, but I guess that’s pretty typical. He’s a benign liar whom the...

Season 5 Episode 3:  Ascension Can we talk about this situation with Sam’s boyfriends? Like, super advanced, super down to die for her, super fucking creepy. This one is the most. Meanwhile her true lover boy MacNeill is treating her like she’s cray because he somehow cannot believe, after all they’ve seen, that she has an alien stalker. Stalkerman does go all human for her, but like who even aske...

Season 5 Episode 2: Threshold Yikes. Mean Teal’c is one grinny mother fucker. He pretends to be back to his old cool self just to try to take out MacNeill, LOL! Hold on to your britches, because this is a fucking Bra’tac episode, hooooray. It’s one of those "gotta kinda kill him to save him" situations, but calm the eff down; Teal’c does live to try to bestie up with MacNeill another day. ----more...

Season 5 Episode 1: Enemies So check it, all of the gate gang plus Papa of the Year J-Mac are stranded in the…unspecified quadrant of some different galaxy! Shit snacks!  Apop is there as well, obvi, but dude has lost his rizz! What a fucking dork. He dies (finally) but leaves a parting gift of Teal’c acting like a total douche. Everyone makes it back to Earth and I guess Teal’c is a problem for a...

Season 4 Episode 22: Exodus Get ready for some action in a galaxy far, far away as Daniel Skywalker, Jack Solo, and Princess Carter plan to do some real wack shit to the Empire of Apophis.  From blowing up stars, to resettling whole populations of Tokr'a, the gang got this on lockdown.   Until the writers realize this ain't Star Wars, and have Teal'c get captured by Tannith for Apophis, and the ga...

Season 4 Episode 21: Double Jeopardy   Hey, y'all remember Gang 2.0?  Remember them?  We left them with Harllo.  Well, they got bored of solitaire and orgies, and decided to start roaming around the galaxy like their flesh and blood counterparts.  Well, that was going t bite them in their robot asses at some point, and well, here we are, as they're all promptly "dead-ed' off.  Especially Daniel, w...

Season 4 Episode 20: Entity Move over Chat GPT, because actual AI rolled onto Earth in 2001.  It took over our friendly Malp Robot, and proceeded to "The Thing"-itself into a nightmare pile of cables and circuits at the Base.  After realizing it's too big for the floppy drives and emergency lighting battery, it decides that Sam Carter 's brain is just the right size for it's zip file!   O'Neil and...

Season 4 Episode 19:  Prodigy So we got two disparate stories going on here.  One is Jack and Teal'c babysitting a team of scientists on what appears to be Tinkerbell's sociopathic cousin's moon home.  The other is Good Will Hunting, except with women in the air force academy.  They bring the two together, but we personally don't understand the point.   But, we do get to see one dude die a horribl...

Season 4 Episode 18:  The Light It's pretty obvious at this point that Daniel has an addictive personality.  Sarcophagi, boy light, and now a sweet lava lamp has his dopamine firing on all cylinders.  The gang go to the planet (aka one room) where this lava lamp is, and to be fair to Daniel, this lava lamp is pretty goddamn sweet.  They all forget their D.A.R.E. Training for this one.     Alas a m...

Season 4 Episode 17: Absolute Power The SG Gang find the Golden Child and bring him back to base.  Very Child-Centric Episode until Daniel is given some Boy-Light and proceeds to become Giga-Chad of the early aughts, fucking over the Tokra AND the rest of the world with his new found knowledge.  Actually, don't worry about the summary.  This episode don't have a point, other than the producers giv...