Sexvangelicals

Over the last four years, we've written podcast episodes about the sex education the church didn't want you to have.  One of the most threatening things for a high-control religious system is a goodbye, which results in actual transitions away from these groups that are secretive, forced, and avoidant. In this episode, we describe an intentional, proper goodbye, from the perspective of how we stru...

This summer, we've answered the most common questions that we receive as relationship and sex therapists. And this week, we answer one of the most common questions: Does body count actually count? We live in a culture that views your sexuality based on how often you access it. Men who are deemed to have accessed sexuality a lot are viewed as "studs". Women are simultaneously valued and devalued ba...

This summer, we're reflecting on the ten most common questions we hear from our relationship and sex therapy clients. We often hear folks talk about their sexuality in negative ways, comparing their sexuality, consumption of porn, and masturbation practices to that of addiction.  We self-diagnose as sex addicts, or we diagnose our partners as sex or porn addicts. And in doing so, we eliminate the...

This summer, we're reflecting on the ten most common questions we hear from our relationship and sex therapy clients.  Growing up in a high control religious space means that queer people often have to repress their sexuality, and may not come out until their late 20s, 30s, or later, which has significant impacts on sexuality and relationship development.  We are thrilled to have Dr. Joe Kort , ho...

This summer, we're reflecting on the ten most common questions we hear from our relationship and sex therapy clients. In the last few years, we've increasingly heard couples asking about play parties, sex parties, cuddle parties, and the like. Opportunities to practice touch, sexuality, and play in intentional spaces. We are thrilled to have Ally Iseman , founder of Passport2Pleasure , as our gues...

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering ten of the most common questions they hear from clients, exvangelicals, and the larger cultural zeitgeist. One of the most common questions is "What if I want to have sex with other people?" In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah are joined by Becs Waite and Jimmy Bridges from the  practice This Space Between to talk about factors, considerations, and fir...

This spring, we are answering ten of the most common questions that we hear as sex therapists.  This week, we're exploring the question, "What do I need to consider when I have sex for the first time?" We created six different scenarios that a person might have for the first time: A general first time sexual experience, and considering what you disclose (and don't disclose) ahead of time. Oral sex...

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering the ten most common questions that we receive as sex therapists. In this episode, they explore the question, "How do I have my first orgasm?"  If you haven't had an orgasm before and you want to have orgasms, messages about "just taking it off the pedestal" and focusing on other areas of pleasure can be really minimizing and dismissive, even if, in the...

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering ten of the most common questions they hear from clients, exvangelicals, and the larger cultural zeitgeist. One of the most common questions is "What happens if sex hurts?" In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah are joined by Dr. Camden Morgante (@drcamden on Instagram), author of the new book Recovering from Purity Culture. They reflect on how to address...

This spring, Julia and Jeremiah are answering ten of the most common questions they hear from clients, exvangelicals, and the larger cultural zeitgeist. One of the most common questions is "Does planning sex kill the vibe?" In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah talk about the distinctions between planned and spontaneous sex. While many of us desire spontaneous sex, the reality is that, for many of u...

This spring, we're answering the most common questions that we receive about sexuality. A lot of questions revolve around our genitals. How are they supposed to look? How are they supposed to function? What happens if they don't function the way that they're "supposed to function"? the In this episode, we challenge three assumptions about our genitals. Your worth as a human being is defined by how...

Deconstruction is the process of re-evaluating the worldview and behavioral expectations of a specific community.  Talking openly about sexual experiences that exist outside of purity culture dictates is one of the fastest ways that a couple from a high control religious context may begin deconstructing. Season 9 of Sexvangelicals explores ten of the most commonly asked questions that we receive a...

We are thrilled to re-release part two of our conversation with NPR National Correspondent Sarah McCammon. Sarah is the author of the book  The Exvangelicals: Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church .  In the age of a second Trump presidency, it's imperative that we discuss the history of the Evangelical Church and politics, purity culture, gender performance, and healing. In part...

Last March, we had the opportunity of interviewing NPR national correspondent Sarah McCammon discussing the strategy and implementation of rigid conservative values in her book The Exvangelicals: Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church. We are re-releasing both our conversations with Sarah in honor of the paperback release on February 18th. In this episode, we discuss the relation...

Letting the dust settle allows us to step out of the reactionary space and evaluate our own lives and relationships.  In our final episode of the series "How to Practice Social Justice Without Being a Jackass", Julia and Jeremiah talk about how to make decisions based on values that are important to you and your family system. A proactive process, rather than reactive process, also makes it easier...

We close our series on How to Practice Social Justice This Election Season with a two part episode called "Letting the Dust Settle". We now know the outcome of the election. For many folks, there's an enormous amount of fear, anxiety, and dread about the behavior and decisions of the incoming administration. There's also a tendency, especially on social media, to respond to every negative step tha...

We've tried to hold two seemingly oppositional positions during our podcast series "How to Practice Social Justice This Election Season Without Being a Jackass". 1) We do not support fascism, most notably showcased by the 2024 Republican Party. 2) We support having relationships with people who think differently (and may vote differently) than we do. To help us navigate this, we invited Sarah and...

For many Exvangelicals, there's an enormous pressure to move into spaces of advocacy for civil rights, especially two weeks before the 2024 Presidential Election. However, advocacy can easily replicate systems of criticism, moral superiority, and shaming, especially when there's un- or under-addressed fear, trauma, anger. We're thrilled to have Sally Gary and Karen Keen from Centerpeace to talk wi...

One of the biggest sources of stress this election season has been the publication of Project 2025. As we continue our series How to Do Social Justice This Election Season Without Being a Jackass, we recognize that many of the policies in Project 2025 are dehumanizing, as well as unwise. While the content inside Project 2025 is infuriating, it's nonetheless imperative that we familiarize ourselves...

A series called "How to Practice Social Justice This Election Season Without Being a Jackass" wouldn't be complete without an episode in which we talk about the scene of many crimes of jackassdom: social media. After all, the ways that we communicate in virtual platforms are quite different from in real life interactions. We can edit the things that we say. We lack the nonverbal context of underst...

Healthy systems, be they families, organizations, or countries, require healthy leadership. In our work as therapists, coaches, and cultural critics, we pay attention to the following question: How does one communicate to the larger system that they are a healthy leader? This week, we talk with Matthew Remski (@matthew_remski), co-host of the Conspirituality podcast (@conspiritualitypod) about two...

November's presidential election represents a comparison between two forms of government. One, a democracy, driven by the principle that many people have voices, and ideally a government that works for a large sum of people. Two, an autocracy, driven by the principle that few people have voices. Autocracies, such as the 2024 Republican Party, often communicate via jackassdom, including blame, repr...

We are less than two months away from the 2024 Election. This Election season is a bit different, because rather than voting for separate political parties, we're voting for two systems: democracy and autocracy (specifically, a Christian Nationalist theocracy). Autocratic governments tend to rely on disinformation, propaganda, repression of voter rights, and fear-mongering in order to develop thei...