Sex Within Marriage Podcast : Exploring Married Sexuality from a Christian Perspective

"I struggle with rejection, even when I haven't actually been rejected." At our last Couple's Night, one of the guys put his finger on something that has a name: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. RSD is a wave of emotional pain that lands way out of proportion to whatever actually happened, and the rejection doesn't even have to be real. It is...

A deep dive into one of the most consistent findings from our survey of over 1,000 married Christians: couples who can talk openly about sex report dramatically higher satisfaction than those who can't. Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we cover: Why so many couples stay silent about what they actually want in bed The communication gap: satisfaction scores...

SWM — Sex as Worship: Pornography, Erotica and AI Companions. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. Pornography and erotica have become ubiquitous and socially normalized, and AI “companions” are increasingly marketed as hyper-sexual substitutes. These offer the appeal of intimacy without risk—no rejection, responsibility or vulnerability—yet they train desire away from real peo...

SWM 155 - Hookup Culture - When You Take Relationship Out of Sex. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. We live in a world that has learned to separate what God never divided. Hookup culture is the next stage of sex stripped of meaning - where bodies meet, but no one truly connects. I’m continuing this series exploring how, when we remove aspects of God’s intent for sex, we end...

SWM 154 - Sex before marriage - when you remove covenant from intimacy. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. In my last episode, I talked about how sex is an act of worship because having sex, the way God intended, gives worth to Him. It honours what He created by using it as He intended. However, our society is doing its best to invert that by taking away elements of God’s pla...

SWM 153 - Sex as an act of worship. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. The other night, after my wife and I had sex, we were lying there in that sweaty, happy pile you end up in when the oxytocin kicks in. As I often do, I asked her what she was thinking about. She’ll tell you I probably ask that too often, because I’m endlessly curious about what’s going on in her head. Her...

June - August 2025 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page. Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: My wife’s nightclothes are killing my attraction Is using a vibrator wrong? How do I get my husband to initiate sex? Need something to spice up our sex life How does scent factor into spouse selection Recovery after pregnancy...

SWM 150 - Control, sex and marriage. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. Last month, I watched a great video by Gary Thomas and his wife Lisa on how a controlling spirit can harm a marriage. It got me thinking: In Christian circles, we often struggle to define the difference between healthy leadership and damaging control—both in marriage and in our relationship with God. Why...

SWM 148 - 14 red flags your marriage is drifting towards divorce, affairs or lifelong unhappiness. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. Have you noticed how quickly disagreements turn into demonization these days? Whether it’s politics, religion, or even marriage, we’ve gotten stuck in a cycle of contempt—where the ‘other side’ isn’t just wrong, they’re evil. And it’s destroyin...

SWM 147 - How do you know if you're sexually compatible? Check out the blog post here for more details and links. The most common argument I hear for premarital sex is, "You need to know if you're sexually compatible before getting married. Otherwise, you might end up stuck in a sexless, unfulfilling relationship." And it sounds like sound reasoning.  We test-drive cars before buying them.  We hav...

SWM 146 - Legalistic vs Loving Approach to Marriage - Shifting from Rules to Relationship. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. In my work as a marriage coach, I often see couples transition from one type of marriage to another. There’s no clear line between these states, no set of rules that definitively places someone in one category or the other. Yet, by observing how they h...

SWM 144 - Why wives have a complicated relationship with sex and what to do about it. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. One of our supporters posted a question in our forum which led to a bit of a discussion on what men perceive as sexy, and it shook the questioner a bit, because it was radically different from what she had been led to believe her whole life. This led into a...

July 2024 Questions from our anonymous Have A Question page.  Check out the show notes here for more details and links. In this episode, we are tackling the subjects: Wife’s love dependent on mood Why don’t you direct people to God? Can’t seem to manage other positions Wife rejects exploration and being seen Nervous about sex outdoors Crossdressing rehash Here are the links I mentioned during the...

SWM 139 - Why won't my spouse do x? I would do it for them. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. Recently, I’ve noticed a question popping up all over the place. It’s come up in our supporter forum, coaching sessions, emails, comments in our latest survey, and more. This question points to a fundamental tension in many marriages - at the root of it is a self-centric desire. The...

SWM 138 - BDSM Survey Results. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. During July and a bit of August, we ran a survey about people’s BDSM experiences. Depending on who you ask, it was either extensive or just dipping our toes into the topic. In the end, we received over 1,000 complete responses from a wide range of couples, some for whom BDSM is part of their daily life, others...

SWM 137 - Why we don't spank our children. Check out the blog post here for more details and links. Last week, Gary Thomas posted an article on his substack on the topic of discipline vs. punishment—not taking a stance but rather offering it up as a controversial conversation starter. Reading it made me curious about something—does your view of hell change your parenting approach? After all, if Go...