Sex With Emily

To get our needs met, we first have to be able to articulate our needs – and be brave enough to share them out loud. But it’s easier said than done! We get worried about what the other person will say, or we don’t have the words to express what we want, so we bury those longings and wait for a better time. Then before we know it, years have passed, and that better time never arrived. We’re sexuall...

“Women cheat for emotional connection, men cheat for sex.” “Men are horn dogs, women are frigid.” Heard any of this before? Did you know these are factually untrue? In this fan favorite episode, cultural anthropologist and bestselling author Wednesday Martin joins me to talk about female sexuality research findings, now that more females are entering the field of sex research. Believe me when I sa...

Welcome to the wide world of alternative relationship models. Opening up, threesomes, and swinging are increasingly becoming more mainstream, so naturally, we’ve got questions. Some of us do better with monogamy, but some of us thrive with a little variety - and no matter where we land on the spectrum of relationships and sex, we can always gain vocabulary to explore our desires, and act on our pl...

You may think of her as divorce attorney to the stars, and Laura Wasser is certainly that. But Laura is also a sharp thinker on marriage and communication, and is here to tell us what every couple needs to know before saying "I do." She says that couples who have the prenup conversation are actually more likely to stay together than those who don't, and that money is an even bigger conversational...

In order to feel turned on, we first have to feel safe. And that’s the funny thing about trust: once it’s broken, it has a way of quietly shutting us down, so that our relationships aren’t as deep, our curiosity is blocked, and even our self-sex takes a hit. But there IS hope: trust can be healed. Neuroplasticity is a beautiful thing, and if we compassionately work on ourselves (possibly with a pa...

Sheila Kelley is a moment, a mantra, and the founder of S-Factor: a feminine movement practice that offers classes in strip, pole dance, and erotic dance. “We live from the armpits up, and get trapped away from our bodies,” Sheila says. So her passion is to free people through movement, so they can return to their bodies, and have more energy to move towards what they want. This is a gem-filled co...

So you’ve got a sex fantasy...and you’re ready for it to become reality. That’s great! But let me be the first to tell you: this process is part art, part science. The art? That’s your erotic self. Closing your eyes, imagining hot -- possibly taboo -- scenarios, and taking the time to discover what turns you on. But the science? That’s where we have to get tactical and think with our heads -- as w...

I like to think of Lewis Howes and Lisa Bilyeu as leaders in the self-awareness world, especially when it comes to relationships. Both Lewis and Lisa are incredibly successful: she went from housewife to cofounder of a billion-dollar business, he went from picked last for dodgeball to pro athlete, New York Times bestselling author and uber successful podcaster. But here’s the thing: success is emp...

It’s frustrating but true: sex isn’t a button that we can automatically turn on and off. In fact, “sex” is a catch-all term for arousal, body exploration, play, and erotic collaboration—not simply penetration. So what do you do when you want to get naughty, but your body isn’t on-board?  On today’s Ask Emily show, we’re taking a look at the body’s response to sex, and figuring out what to do when...

Before we’re experts at anything, we’re all humble beginners. And whether we’re learning how to date, learning how to talk about sex, or learning how to pleasure a partner, it can all seem pretty intimidating — enough to make us second-guess ourselves. “Do they just like me as a friend?” “Am I weird for wanting more lovers?” “Will I teach my child the right things about sex?” On today’s Ask Emily...

Everyone is talking about breathwork these days. But for PleasureMuse Dolly Josette, breath opens an entire world of erotic sensation -- and it’s a world you (yes, you) already possess. So if full-body orgasms sound like fun, you’ll love this conversation, because guess what? Dolly shows us how to visit that pleasure-filled world, all on our own. Dolly’s been recognized as one of today’s most inno...

Trust: it’s the glue of relationships, even the more casual ones. Can I trust that this person is safe? That they aren’t going to hurt me? Can I trust myself, that I’ll know how to navigate this situation? These are the questions we all ask ourselves, even if it’s subconscious. Our bodies and brains regularly scan for danger, but when you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, sometimes the red flags ju...

You’ve heard this one before: the sexiest quality in the world is confidence. And that’s true...but...it’s not always easy to muster. Confidence is an inside job, but here’s the good news. Once you generate it on your own terms, life - and sex - gets a whole lot easier. So on today’s Ask Emily show, I’m joined by my dear friend and former co-host Menace from The Woody Show, as we talk confidence,...

When you hear the words “pelvic floor,” what comes to mind? A visit to the OB-GYN, maybe? The truth is, the pelvic floor is a hidden superstar of sexual pleasure, for vulva AND penis owners. We all have a pelvic floor, but the problem is, we don’t always know how to take care of it. That changes today because you’re about to hear from the pelvic floor expert herself, Dr. Patricia Wallace. In this...

Sex is play, but certain sex positions feel more like work, right? Whether it’s reverse cowgirl or 69, you might feel a bit awkward...you don’t exactly know what you’re doing...you’re trying not to throw your back out. But that doesn’t mean you have to keep doing the same, safe positions over and over again! That’s why today’s show is all about helping you experiment, and making the most challengi...

Let’s be honest: there are certain myths about sex that are SO common, they seem like truth. Things like: what it means to be wet, what it means to be hard, and what it means if you use a vibrator a lot. But guess what? A ton of the things you and I have both heard about sex aren’t based on science - they’ve just been repeated a lot. So on today’s show, I’m debunking the top sex myths I see and he...

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who can read your mind, anticipate your needs 24/7, and fulfill them perfectly? Yeah...me neither. The truth is, deep relationships require deep communication skills, and the most important skill is this: being able to articulate what you need, sexually and otherwise. The result? Way healthier relationship dynamics. Click Here to Subscribe. So on t...

You know Gwyneth Paltrow: actor, CEO of goop, bestselling cookbook author, and cultural conversation starter. But now, Gwyneth’s got a new show on Netflix called “Sex, Love & Goop,” where she hopes to spark another conversation: how couples can save their sex lives, through touch, communication, and giving themselves permission to talk about sex in the first place. Click Here to Subscribe. In this...

When it comes to sex, do you have a growth mindset? Whether you’re a new parent and your sex drive has tanked, or you’re trying to break free from a mental pattern that’s blocking your pleasure, we all experience sexual roadblocks. Never fear: you can have a sex reset! On today’s Ask Emily show, I’m helping you ID the obstacles to your sexuality, from trauma, to a repressive upbringing, to a disco...

To lots of folks, “foreplay” is shorthand for...hand stuff. But foreplay - or outercourse, as I call it - is actually way more about emotional intelligence, than anything having to do with your fingers. On today’s show, I dive into the psychology of foreplay and intimacy, a fascinating study on the difference between a good’ and ‘bad’ sex life, and how to get aroused with specific (and quite sexy)...

There are wants, and then, there are needs -- sexual needs, to be precise. On today’s Ask Emily show, everyone has that one need that they’re longing to satisfy...they just don’t know how to do it. Good news: the sex expert has arrived, and I’m here to help you take that vital next step. Click Here to Subscribe. If you’ve never had an orgasm before, but desperately want to, I’ve got some ideas for...

When it comes to your most pressing sex issues, have you ever wondered: “ugh, is it just me?” I promise: it’s not just you! To prove it, I’m tackling your top five sex questions in this episode. From raising your libido to acing your oral, we cover a lot of ground in this one. How do you talk to your partner about sex? I teach you how to broach this conversation with compassion, and how to normali...

It’s the holy grail of sexual connection -- a quality oral sesh. Or...is it? On this best of mashup episode, I’m sharing some top shelf advice on how to up your oral game: both giving, and receiving. Sometimes, hot oral comes down to technique, like the Kivin Method: we talk about why this is so delicious for vulva owners, and how you can execute it. But other times, good oral is more about lip se...

Here’s a secret. The #1 obstacle standing between you and the sex of your dreams probably comes down to exactly one thing: communication. It’s not a cliche - it’s a skill, and on today’s Ask Emily show, we’re talking our way to better sex. So let’s bravely face the awkwardness, with communication hacks for even the most nerve-wracking of convos. Clamming up during sex talks? I’ve got a confidence-...

No one goes to relationship school, so Dr. John & Julie Gottman created the Gottman Institute to find out what makes relationships work. As today’s guests (and partners for over 30 years), the Gottmans talk about their iconic research, including the myth of compatibility, the four behaviors that tank a relationship, and what is UP with pheromones and attraction. Yep: we’re talking t-shirt smell te...