Sex With Emily

The Sex With Emily Hotline is open! On this episode, I’m joined by my Producer, Erica, as we talk about disappearing erections, prostate massages, and so much more. First, what do you do when your partner has health issues that cause them to lose their erections? I give one caller ideas for how to work around this issue and thoughts on what might be causing it in the first place. Next, why don’t c...

Two of your most powerful sex accessories? Your hands. Hands set the tone of your sexual energy. For example, caressing their cheek while you make out versus pinning their hands down while you have sex. And while we talk a lot about what to do with our mouths or genitals on this show, today I’m focusing on a lost art: hand play. Specifically, how to finger, give a hand job, and use your hands with...

It’s Hotline Calls time! And we’ve got one common theme: trust - the foundation of hot sex. Because when you trust yourself and the person you’re with, you can fully let go in bed and relax into your deepest pleasure. When oral sex gets too rough, how can you ask your partner to be more gentle and respectful? I’ve got some thoughts. When your partner doesn’t love booty play – but you definitely do...

We all experience performance anxiety in bed from time to time. We get in our heads, we worry we’re not hot / good / skilled enough, and sometimes we try to be people we’re not during sex. That’s why today’s episode is about identifying different types of performance anxiety, so that we can show up more confident and relaxed for sex. First I talk through O-blockers: common reasons your orgasm and...

This is how an orgasm works. It’s a symphony of mind, nervous system, blood flow and muscle spasms, all syncing up to give you oh-so-wonderful sensations. But what if you’ve never had an orgasm before? Or what if you do experience them – but want them to be better? In today’s popular Best Of episode, I explain the science behind orgasms and how to make yours amazing. I tell you what to do if you’v...

Initiating sex, dry spells, and mismatched libidos: the Hotline Calls are open, and your sex questions are answered! Today’s sexual concerns are especially relatable: I’m willing to bet you’ve experienced one of these yourself. Let’s start with orgasms. When you can only get off in one very specific position, how can you retrain your body and mind? I give you tips on switching up your technique. N...

([TW: SA] If you would like to skip this portion of the episode, please skip through: 21:25-22:00) Let’s talk friends with benefits. Somewhere between a relationship and a situationship, you’ve got FWBs... And in my view, they’re a completely valid relationship model. But let’s be honest: they’re not for everyone. Navigating the friendship part of an FWB can get murky, especially if you’re secretl...

It’s time to debunk the toxic myths around sex and age. Does sexual satisfaction drop off as you get older? Absolutely not! In fact, the data tells us the exact opposite is true. Today, anthropologist, bestselling author and my dear friend Dr. Wednesday Martin and I lay out the facts, which is fitting: we’re both in our fifties! If you’re not in your fifties yet, here’s what you can look forward t...

When you’re not turned on by your partner, should you open the relationship? What does it mean when they don’t finish during sex? In today’s Hotline Calls episode, I’m taking all your pressing sex questions. First, when you want to bring sex toys and lube into the bedroom, but your partner is firmly opposed…what now? I offer communication tips to help bring down defenses. Next, when you’re loving...

Bored in bed? It happens. Sexual boredom doesn’t necessarily mean there’s anything wrong with your relationship – but it is a cue that you’re ready for novelty. So save this episode because it’s an entire guide to spicing up your sex. First, I start with the when and where: how does the time of day affect your arousal? And where can you do it besides the bedroom? Next, we make your favorite sex po...

Your sleep affects your sex drive: we know this. The bottom line: if you know the right sleep hacks, you can have much better sex. In this fascinating Best Of episode with Dr. Michael Breus, we dive into the science of sleep and how to leverage it for sexual arousal. Starting with the four chronotypes, your body’s natural disposition to be awake or asleep, we help you figure out how to work with y...

Let’s talk solo anal. You may be looking around right now, wondering why anal play is so trendy, and thinking to yourself: “is this actually for me?” But before you jump into the anal deep end with a partner, I’ve got a pro tip: try anal with yourself! On today’s episode, I’m talking through all the positive reasons to explore anal with yourself, no matter what genitals you’ve got. I’m also bustin...

Solo sex (aka masturbation) is legitimate self-care. Better sleep, less stress, glowing skin, heightened immunity – and let’s not forget orgasms (not that I think you would). So on today’s Best Of episode, I’m talking all things solo sex and how to make it work for you. Feel embarrassed or ashamed about it? Or do you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing? I help you create a solo sex routine...

How do your meals affect your sex drive? Are your hormones interfering with your pleasure? And real talk…does alcohol make it harder for you to orgasm? Dr. Will Cole hosts the podcast The Art of Being Well, and on today’s show, he explains the connection between what you eat and how you feel – both in and out of the bedroom. We discuss sex-supportive nutrients and how to fill your plate for better...

When it comes to turn ons, we’ve all got our preferences. Maybe you love a deep, sexy voice. Maybe a wicked sense of humor. But there are five sexual arousal styles that apply to most people: you can think of them as the five love languages for sexual excitement. They are: conversation, visuals, touch, play or physical adventure. In this popular Best Of episode, I break down the five styles and ho...

([TW // mentions SA, r*pe] If you would like to skip these portions of the episode, please skip through: 21:30-22:25, 51:30-52:05.) Porn gets a bad rap – for very understandable reasons. Today, I’m breaking down the reasons why with Dr. Wednesday Martin, and also playing devil’s advocate and giving you a new way to approach it. Can you learn legit sex skills from porn viewing? In this episode, I’m...

Have you ever used FaceTime for sex? Maybe you’re traveling and want to stay connected to your partner. Maybe you’re dating and want to test the waters with someone virtually before having sex IRL. Or maybe the idea just turns you on! No matter the case, today’s episode is all about FaceTime sex and how to pull it off. First, I’m talking prep steps: literally, how do you get in the mood for FaceTi...

What feeling are you chasing in bed? No, I’m not talking about orgasm. I’m talking about an emotion, like feeling worshiped, praised, or unbelievably desirable. On the other hand, maybe it arouses you to feel degraded, objectified – even humiliated. On today’s show, I’m unpacking a kink that’s getting a ton of attention lately on social media: praise kink. It falls under the larger umbrella of cor...

Let’s talk teasing. Do you know how to build sexual tension? Maybe you’re dating and want to be a cute flirt. Or maybe you’re in a long term relationship and want to create a sexy vibe. No matter your situation, today’s episode teaches a lost art: the art of the tease. First, I talk focus and flirting: simple little hacks to put the spotlight on the other person with flavors of sexual play. Next,...

I’m introducing a new series today that you literally helped me create: Sexy Stories! You share your juiciest, most personal success stories with me, and I read them aloud on the show. Because sometimes the best way to learn about sex comes from other people and their experiences. First: parents who sent their kids away and tried pegging for the very first time. Hear how it went… from the husband’...

How do you take a classic sex position and make it kinky? On today’s show, I’m telling you exactly how. Inspired by the positions chapter in Smart Sex (out now at bookstores everywhere), I’m talking through two specific positions that bring the kink – and another classic that you can spice up with a little power play. First, I’m looking at Cowgirl/Cowboy and talking through its pros, cons, and evo...

Remember Loveline? The call-in show hosted by Dr. Drew to get your love and dating questions answered? Well, it holds a special place in my heart because I used to co-host it! So today, in celebration of my career leading up to my new book Smart Sex (out today!), I’m inviting my dear friend Dr. Drew Pinsky onto Sex With Emily to help me answer your sex questions Loveline-style. First, what does it...

Let’s 69! It’s one of those sex acts where you tend to be a full-on lover or hater. But no matter what camp you fall in, chances are that if you’re having sex, you’re going to come across the famous, the controversial, 69 sex position. Why not learn some pointers to make the whole thing more hot, and more comfortable? First, I share research with you that might motivate you to put 69 on regular ro...

How did you discover who you were as a sexual being? Are you still figuring it out? Your desires, your sexual turn-ons, your overall attitude towards sex itself? Well, today, we’re doing something a little different: I’m answering all those questions and letting you in on my sexual journey. That’s right! I’ve got author, anthropologist, and my dear friend Dr. Wednesday Martin on the show today as...

Good news: every vulva owner can learn how to squirt. But it does take practice, and on today’s Best Of show, I’ve got sex educator, author, and female ejaculation expert Deborah Sundahl here to walk us through it. First, Deborah clarifies the connection between squirting and the G-spot, and just in case you have any doubts about the G-spot’s existence, Deborah tells you how to find yours in the m...