Settling Is Bullshit

It’s that time again – Mercury is going retrograde and things are going to get wacky. But if you want to have a better sense of what that actually means and how it might impact your life in particular, we are here for you! In this conversation with astrologer and energy worker Fi Russell, they walk me through what the heck Mercury retrograde means, why the sign it’s going retrograde through matter...

The world is bananas right now. A lot of us are angry, afraid, and struggling to stay out of the pit of despair. And that makes sense! It’s totally understandable. AND… my offering to you in this episode is the idea that centering ourselves in joy is what will fuel our ability to keep showing up. Joy isn’t the byproduct of things being amazing, it’s the lighter fluid for keeping ourselves alight....

Why do we do the things we do? And, more importantly, why do we keep doing them? Taking the time to reflect – to slow down, look back, and ask ourselves whether the path we’ve been on is the one we want to stay on – helps us be the person we want to be. In this conversation with Dr. John Miles , a writing professor and academic assessment specialist (and my former boss), we talk about the importan...

What would it be like to live in a world filled with unconditional love? A world where we fully trusted in ourselves, where we felt utterly supported in showing up for the lessons the universe has laid out for us? It’s aspirational, for sure. But maybe it’s not quite so out of reach as we often feel. In this soul-nourishing conversation with spiritual counselor Julie Day, we talk about how to put...

Especially in the midst of chaos, grief, and what very much seems like the apocalypse, what there is to do is show up for each other – in whatever ways we can. The trick, of course, is in recognizing our own capacities and only offering what we actually have to give. Which may not be a lot right now, and that’s okay. But participating in relationships with people we care about means leaning on eac...

Spirituality, presence, mindfulness, enlightenment… whatever you want to call it, we don’t just get there through thinking about it all the time. Or even through not thinking about it, if we’re trying the meditation route. Instead, connecting with our sense of being in the world (joyful or uncomfortable as that may be in any given moment) comes through both our thoughts and our bodily experiences....

Are you on the struggle bus, my friend? If so, you are not alone – even if it super duper feels like it a lot of the time. And, as much as it sucks, the struggle is just a normal part of being human. What there is to do is persist and remember to connect when you can. This episode isn't here to cheer you up or drown you in my usual ebullient positivity. Instead, I'm just offering empathy, witnessi...

What if your intuition could be your secret weapon for changing the world? Seriously! What would shift if you thought about listening to your inner wisdom as a downright revolutionary act on both the personal and collective stage? In this lovely conversation with depth coach Andrea Leda, we unpack the magic and power of feminine intuition as a tool for breaking free from societal expectations and...

It's a new year, same you, my love! Except not the same. Because SOMETHING has changed since the last new year. And this little hybrid episode is a pep-talk for setting an intention for who you want to be in 2025 rather than getting lost in the details of all the goals you want to accomplish. (Though we do still love our goals. Gold stars all year!) In this episode, I read and reflect on the post...

To prioritize something means to treat it as more important than other things, which means only one thing gets to be a priority at a time. So it’s kind of no wonder that the idea of putting ourselves first, of prioritizing ourselves, can feel like a really big ask. However! You, my darling, are a gift to this world. You have something delicious and unique and exceptional to offer. And putting your...

Living in human bodies in contemporary society means all of us have to engage with gender in some capacity. Woman, man, trans person, non-binary, gender-free… moving through the world means navigating and/or disrupting societal gender norms. And how cool would it be if we could all walk around feeling not just comfortable with our gender but downright euphoric about it?! Today’s guest helps us thi...

In the spirit of the holiday season and last week's episode on boundaries and self-care, I figured it might be good for all of us to revisit one of my older blog posts about saying (and accepting) no. I want to live in a culture that supports healthy boundaries. And healthy boundaries entail respecting people’s “no,” especially our own. Learning to graciously take no for an answer has helped me, i...

Setting boundaries and practicing self-care are hard things to do – especially during the holiday season. But finding a clear sense of our actual capacity and remembering to check in with our body’s needs are important skills the whole year round. In this great conversation with personal development coach Jenny Tryansky, we explore the necessity of being a “rested self" and delve into the complexi...

Especially during chaotic times, gentleness is the way forward. Today's episode is a pep talk for all of us trying to make changes in our lives. It offers us the reminder that we can get where we want to go through showing up as best we can without beating ourselves up for falling short of our own unrealistic expectations. (like always getting episodes out exactly on time! lol). Cool shit unfolds...

A short love note to those of us who are grieving after the election. Here's our reminder that we're not alone and that we can choose to lean into each other instead of letting the spin out consume us. "Moving from Fear to Love" – https://settlingisbullshit.com/2022/12/27/moving-from-fear-to-love/ Quote from Howard Zinn: “To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on th...

Especially when times are tough (and the world feels full of doom and gloom), we need cheerleaders in our lives – people who will believe in us when we can't believe in ourselves. And when we can't believe in big, cool shit for ourselves, it can be easier to believe in it for others. So! Let's all be the change we want to see in the world and offer our support, encouragement, and enthusiasm to eac...

Whether we call it magic, prayer, intention, or simply mindfulness, there is power in how we show up in our lives. It’s often just a matter of how much we’re actually paying attention. In this delightful and seasonally appropriate conversation with tarot reader and witch Julie Miller, we talk about what it means to embrace the magic of the everyday activities that so many of us pour our love and i...

How do our bodies store trauma and what does that even mean? Why does getting triggered hijack our capacity to think straight? And what the heck can we do to heal from our past and nurture a well-regulated nervous system so we’re not freaking out all the time?! Well, listen in my love! In the second part of this two-part series, coach extraordinaire Marjorie Schreurs answers all those questions an...

How well do you hear the signals your body is sending, my love? Most of us either don’t hear so well or too often choose not to listen... and the consequences can look like burnout, meltdowns, freak outs, and tantrums, or chronic fatigue, self-criticism, and general cranky-pants-ness. So! Got a body? This episode is for you! It’s the first installment of a two-part conversation with body wisdom co...

When life is doing shit that we don’t like, acceptance is the jumping off point, y’all. Settling is the crash landing. Or maybe it’s the getting stuck on a sandbar landing. Settling is definitely muddy and gross, and I do not wish it upon any of you beautiful souls! Acceptance, on the other hand, is key to figuring our way out of the quagmire of settling. Once we identify and accept the things we...

We all have trauma, y’all. It just might not be Trauma with a capital T. Instead, many/most of us are just wandering around on this journey of life getting hijacked by our little-t trauma responses without even knowing it! That’s why I brought in a globally-renowned trauma expert to talk to us about how trauma gets in the way of our joy. And, in full transparency, Dr. Stephanie Goldsmith, PhD is a...

Season two is finally here! And getting it launched took longer than I had hoped/anticipated, which ended up being juicy fodder for an evergreen topic: PATIENCE! We all need it. We all have a hard time with it. And we can now all come back to this episode when we're struggling around it. This is a 20ish minute pep talk, mini-meditation, and practical exercise all rolled into one that applies unive...

Self-love is an inside job. And this is your pep-talk for recognizing and appreciating your own awesomeness. It's there! I promise! The trick is just to start looking for the good in ourselves instead of focusing on what we don't have or what we're bad at – none of that shit really matters! Wherever you are on your self-love journey, there is hope! This one includes some juicy journal prompts and...

What would shift if we all gave ourselves a bit more credit (or brownie points or gold stars) for all the things we do? Whether it's a single squat or one minute of meditation or one sentence of writing, how much might we accomplish if even the little shit counted (as better than nothing)? Read the transcript/original post: https://settlingisbullshit.com/2023/09/29/what-if-everything-counted/

Wondering WTF a faux feeling is? While you might not be familiar with the term, it's pretty likely you'll know what we're talking about: "feeling" unappreciated, manipulated, judged, ignored... it's a long list of not-actual-feelings that we can get trapped in when we're trying to navigate conflict with the people in our lives. Read the original post: https://settlingisbullshit.com/2023/10/26/esca...