Set Apart + Called Podcast

Unfiltered Conversations: In Real Time is a new series within Set Apart + Called where we talk through things while we're still living them. No polished lessons. No pretending to have everything figured out. Just honest conversations about healing, relationships, faith, self-awareness, and the things that come up along the way. In this first episode, I'm talking about something I recently realized...

What happens when the person abusing you is also the person everyone admires on Sunday morning? In the first guest episode of Set Apart + Called , I sit down with Lena Rivers to talk about surviving narcissistic abuse inside a marriage with a pastor whose public image looked nothing like the reality happening behind closed doors. We talk about spiritual abuse, manipulation inside the church, the p...

Have you ever finally snapped after months of being provoked and then somehow ended up being the one who was out of control? That’s reactive abuse. And it’s one of the most powerful tools a narcissist uses to maintain control, shift blame, and keep you questioning your own sanity. In this episode we break down exactly what reactive abuse is, why it works, and how narcissists deliberately provoke r...

If you've ever wondered why leaving felt impossible,why you still felt something for someone who hurt you, why years can pass and one message still shakes you — this episode is going to give you the answer you've been looking for. It's not because you didn't love yourself enough. It's biology. In this episode we talk about: → What a trauma bond actually is and why it forms → What's happening psych...

Codependency gets talked about a lot online, but most explanations don’t actually help people understand what was really happening inside these relationships. In this episode of Set Apart + Called , we look at why narcissistic abuse and codependent patterns often become intertwined in ways that are difficult to recognize while you’re living through them. Not because someone is weak or “just won’t...

Leaving the relationship didn’t end the control. It just changed how it showed up. In this Season 2 premiere, I’m talking about the reality of post-separation abuse — what happens when a narcissistic or high-conflict ex no longer has access to you as a partner, but still finds ways to maintain power through co-parenting, financial pressure, and psychological manipulation. This episode covers: • Wh...

You finally left, and you're starting to feel like yourself again. And then they reach out. In this final episode of the Manipulation Tactics series, we unpack why narcissists often resurface right when your healing begins — not with obvious drama, but with subtle messages, concern, reflection, or crisis that pulls you back into emotional contact. This episode explores: Why they come back when you...

When someone hurts you, then claims they’re the victim — the confusion can be overwhelming. This episode breaks down how the victim complex is used to flip accountability, rewrite reality, and turn you into the villain. We explore how narcissistic individuals use the victim role to avoid responsibility, control the story, and recruit sympathy; leaving you doubting yourself while they appear misund...

There’s a reason conversations with certain people go nowhere. In this upcoming episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on the victim complex — a pattern where correction is received as cruelty, and accountability sounds like abuse. We’ll explore how narcissistic personalities weaponize their own pain to escape responsibility, rewrite the truth, and re-center themselves as the wounded party. If yo...

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENTS INSIDE Gaslighting isn’t confusion — it’s conditioning. It’s when someone repeatedly denies your reality, rewrites what happened, and slowly trains you to doubt your own memory, instincts, and emotions. In Episode 32 of the Manipulation Tactics series , we break down how gaslighting actually works, why it’s so psychologically destabilizing, and how it keeps people trapped i...

Projection is one of the most disorienting manipulation tactics — because it turns their behavior into your supposed flaw. In this episode, we break down how narcissists use projection to dodge accountability, rewrite reality, and keep you on the defensive. You’ll learn how projection shows up in high-conflict relationships, why it’s rooted in deep psychological and spiritual distortion, and how i...

When you hold a narcissist accountable, the conversation doesn’t move toward clarity — it reroutes. In this episode, we break down deflection : the tactic that turns your valid concern into a brand-new argument, a distraction, or an attack on your character. We explore why accountability feels threatening to narcissists, how they shift the spotlight to avoid responsibility, and the emotional toll...

DARVO — Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender — is one of the most common and most disorienting manipulation tactics survivors encounter. If you’ve ever tried to have a simple conversation with a narcissist and somehow ended up apologizing… this episode will finally make it make sense. In Part 1 of the Manipulation Tactics Series , we break down exactly how DARVO works, why it leaves you doubt...

The holidays can be beautiful… but if you’re co-parenting with a narcissist, they can also feel heavy, confusing, and painfully performative. In this bonus episode, we talk about holiday manipulation, emotional pressure, image-management, and the quiet loneliness so many parents carry this time of year. If you’ve ever watched your co-parent “put on a show,” or felt the tension of trying to protect...

This final episode of the Understanding Trauma series is about moving from survival into restoration — learning how to receive care, honor your body, and build a life that can hold you. We’re closing this series here and opening the door to what’s coming next, where we’ll begin a deeper conversation around manipulation, clarity, and reclaiming your voice. There won’t be a second episode this Thurs...

What happens when the body keeps the score… long after the mind learned how to survive? In this episode, we talk about the cost of unhealed trauma, the symptoms that don’t make sense, the exhaustion that won’t lift, the weight your body carries when your mind had no choice but to cope. This isn’t about blame. It’s about listening. Because your body isn’t broken..it’s been protecting you. 🎧 Episod...

The patterns you keep repeating didn’t start in adulthood. They started in childhood—where safety was inconsistent, needs went unmet, and love came with conditions. In this episode, we talk about the childhood wounds that follow us into adulthood : how early emotional neglect, chaos, or control shapes our nervous system, our relationships, our self-worth—and why many survivors of narcissistic abus...

In Part 2 of the Understanding Trauma series, we’re stepping into the quiet corners of the body — the places that stay braced long after the relationship ends. Hypervigilance. Freeze. Emotional shutdown. Not as “symptoms,” but as survival strategies your nervous system built to protect you. In this episode, we break down why your body still reacts like danger is present, even when your mind knows...

Chronic stress changes a woman’s body. Not just her mood — her brain, hormones, digestion, sleep, and immunity . This episode opens a new series on trauma, starting with what happens physically when you’ve lived in survival mode for too long — especially when that survival mode came from narcissistic abuse . For years, you may have told yourself: “I’m just tired.” “I’m overreacting.” “Maybe this i...

This is the final episode of the Co-Parenting With a Narcissist series — but it’s not the end of the conversation. Today we name the lie that keeps so many parents stuck: you can’t “co-parent” with someone who is fueled by control, chaos, and image. Psychology explains the symptoms — projection, gaslighting, emotional dysregulation — but it doesn’t go deep enough. The root is spiritual. The confli...

Kids always know more than they can say — especially in a high-conflict co-parenting situation with a narcissistic parent. In today’s episode, we break down why children “act different” after leaving the narcissist’s home , and what their behavior is actually telling you. This is a must-listen for anyone dealing with: a narcissistic ex or high-conflict co-parent inconsistent rules between homes ki...

A soft Thanksgiving reset. After a full weekend of family, nature, Christmas lights, and a much-needed break from routine, I’m sharing the small moments that grounded me in gratitude. If you’re navigating blended families, shared custody, or a holiday season that feels different than it used to, this bonus episode is a reminder to slow down, breathe, and let God reset your soul. Themes: gratitude,...

In Part 2 of the “Co-Parenting With a Narcissist” series, we dive into one of the most damaging and confusing parts of post-separation parenting: counter-parenting and the “counterfeit parent” dynamic. This episode breaks down how narcissists recruit new partners and enablers into their narrative, create competition between households, and use comparison games to undermine the safe parent. If you’...

Co-parenting with a narcissist isn’t co-parenting — it’s manipulation, image control, and psychological warfare . In Part 1 of this new series, we break down performative parenting : when a narcissistic ex uses your children as props, posts, and proof that they’re the “better parent.” If you’re dealing with: • a narcissistic co-parent who parents for attention or praise , • children repeating scri...

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses emotional abuse, manipulation, and traumatic behaviors during separation. Please listen with care. This episode exposes what really happens when you leave a narcissist — the mask drops, the illusion shatters, and the psychological warfare begins. I walk through the eight months leading up to my divorce: the retaliation, the instability, the manipulation,...