Segment City

This week on the podcast Theo and Will muse about which fruits could next have advertising on them, and Theo has a million dollar sandwich idea. He’s also brought the story of a man who single-handedly developed an operating system for the big man himself. Will’s brought instructions on how to craft your perfect fursona, as well as some spooky Amazon erotica finds. Email us at segmentcitypodcast@g...

Can we really be labeled as a comedy podcast when we spend the majority of an episode talking about a famous murderer? Frankly my dear listeners, I don’t give a damn. This week on the podcast, the boys talk about getting rid of tough weeds, what our first Halloween costumes memories are, seasonal pumpkin spiced red vines, Will tells the horrid (and lengthy) tale of Gilles de Rais who was the right...

Frankly, I think they need to cool it on the cream of chicken soup, but hey I’m just some guy so don’t listen to me.  This week on the show we are joined by the one and only Rachel Robison! She’s brought us a collection of wacky foods from Utah to react to. Theo also has a story of a maybe real life ancient alien? Email us at segmentcitypodcast@gmail.com Twitter: https://twitter.com/SegmentCity Yo...

Make no mistake -- the first step in the process is to throw your morals straight out the window. WikiHow might have a list of steps that says otherwise, but really you got yourself into this position so reckon with that first. This week on the podcast Will and Theo talk about the Joey Chestnut’s legendary attempt at Buffalo wings, and Will brings us through a WikiHow article on seducing your prof...

Turns out that the Red Scare just made the weirdos weirder and the regular people weirder too. That’s what happens when a weirdo leads the country on his weirdo crusade against ideas he doesn’t like. This week on the podcast, Will and Theo talk about what horror movie tropes creep us out, the 5 best food based Halloween costumes, a food that apparently neutralizes garlic breath, the surprisingly h...

Imagine being a hitman. You just snuck into some bloke’s window. The light gets turned on. Your target is only wearing his boxers and Muramasa katana. “You’re gonna have to work for ya coin tonight, assassin.” he says, brandishing his blade. You then pull out a Glock and light him up. This week on the podcast, the boys talk about getting old, new slang terms like “rizz”, Taco Bell’s experimental B...

Lemme get this straight — you’re telling me I could have had 7.5 days per week every week for my entire life and all I had to do was realize how to count properly? I’ve thrown away so much time! My youth! This week on the podcast Theo has a report of a few Florida residents up to their old shenanigans. Will brings us a legendary forum debate that is bound to leave you dumber for having listened to...

“You have climbed all the way up this mountain to receive my wisdom. What would you like to know?” the Guru said. “My cat Sprinkles seems mad at me, so I thought you would, like, maybe, help me to apologize.” “If that is what you are asking then I think you have bigger problems.” This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about impulse shopping, which is more stressful: Physical mail or email, O...

Some call it the newest diet, we call it the newest way of being. Introducing: The all gravy diet. It’s really more of a lifestyle than anything, and if you’ve been looking for a way to cleanse your body and replace your natural fluids with this thick delicious brown goop then you’re in the right place. This week on the podcast Theo has a report from Santa Claus, Indiana where they’re building a g...

Nothing like being bullied at a family gathering and then they get to move 20 spaces just to rub it in. This week on the podcast, the boys talk about learning Parcheesi for the first time, how there should be a ego price to having cutesy generated avatars, why Mark Zuckerberg might beat Elon Musk in their boxing match, the German children’s television character Brundt das Brot who is a depressed p...

This week on the podcast we get straight into it! No intros, right to the segments! Will tells us the story of the Demon Cat that haunts Washington DC who terrorizes lazy security guards and generally wreaks havoc. He also has more news of the Australian artist who really loves making people uncomfortable, and finally he brings us over to Amazon Erotica. Theo’s got news of a Skittles and French’s...

I don’t think it is terrifying! In fact, I believe more balloon creatures should have breasts! Actually please don’t quote me on that… This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about the “Barbenheimer” trend, if they would have weird digestion patterns for a million dollars, Hooters opening 6 units in Florida and Las Vegas, people getting upset at a busty seagull statue in Massachusetts and a m...

If you’re thinking about visiting the old asylum, make sure you’ve got all the gear you need: flashlight, electroscope, magnetic field detectors, the whole lot. But ghosts hate that Devil’s lettuce, leave that stuff home or you might drive em wild with anger. This week on the podcast Theo brings the latest concoction from Burger King Thailand, the Cheeeeesburger. He also has another batch of Farme...

“... Why do you ask?” The pilot responds, just as the duct tape holding the wings on fails. This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about the Apple Vision Pro and its controversial price tag, a new pasta shape designed by a podcast called “Cascatelli”, McDonald’s newest nasty creation: The Hashbrown Oreo McFlurry Ice Cream Sandwich which combines hot potato with chocolate to really ruin your...

Listen, the guy already has stunning locks, ripped abs, and the suffering look is really in right now. Why shouldn’t he show off his summer body in Japan? Well he has to walk there first, but that’s only going to make him more fit. This week on the podcast, the Theo and Will talk about severing different parts of our personalities like the show “Severance”, if God farts and poops, a man who dumped...

The accompanying marketing statement for this one said “dipping will never be the same” which… I dunno, I guess I’ll let you decide that one. In this week’s episode we explore one of the weirdest “game changing” devices entering a McDonald’s near you. Will has two news stories of successful self defense with a slingshot, and a dog driving. Theo takes will down the road of Farmer’s Only profiles to...

Do you think if you grew up and Mike Wazowski was still busting into your room every night with his comedy routine at some point you’d just… snap? This week on the podcast Will brings a Conspiracy Query about a senator body swap, as well as a report of a woman having a full body… “expression of physical joy” during the philharmonic orchestra.  Theo’s got a report of thousands of bees dumped on a h...

And nothing is worse than a rude horse. This week on the podcast, Will and Theo talk about Theo’s preacher grandfather who revealed he hates organ music, how frustrating it is to watch content that is about your profession, going over stupid Tik Tok “foodhacks”, Will goes over the most obvious hitman plot ever as a Air National Guard put his resume on rentahitman.com (a fake hitman website), Theo...

“Wanna see me eat 15 hotdogs? You don’t? Ok well I’m gonna do it anyways.” This week on the podcast Theo and Will discuss the mayhem in Philly when a kid challenges himself to a hotdog eating contest, and Will walks us through the downfall of beloved (by someone) sandwich chain, Quiznos. Following all those food segments, Theo has one of the least appetizing editions of the Taxidermy Shop yet feat...

“I love this gorilla and he loves me! At least, I think he does. He mostly bares his teeth at me and gives me the thumb across the neck hand signal, which must mean love in Gorilla…” This week on the podcast, the boys talk about the Danish “Kageman” or “Cake Man” that is a tradition that is only meant to disturb children, Theo takes us on the flavor journey that is the Hidden Valley Ranch ice crea...

Don’t get the title of this episode twisted, I promise it has nothing to do with Jack Daniels. You’re gonna have to listen to find out what that means. This week on the podcast Will talks about the many methods of getting rid of lionfish, as well as a report on the new nutritious Lunchables. Which is pretty much admitting that they weren’t nutritious before, but hey who’s even paying attention. He...

Tip #1: Don't. We need loyal drones- I mean, employees to do the heavy lifting while the C-Suite goes and plays their 12 game of golf this week.   This week on the podcast, Theo and Will talk about sending postcards in 2023, how weird modern advertisements are, Campbell’s soup’s strange new Ghost Pepper soup, Will tells you “How to Quit Your Job without Burning Bridges” (as literally written by HR...

Come on down to the Multi-Head No-Head On Average Normal Amounts of Heads Hut! We’re working on a new name, but hey you’re here to take a look at creatures with variable amounts of heads, not analyze our branding. This week on the podcast Theo reports on the return of the KFC Double Down, a truly chaotic creation making it’s re-debut. He also brings a selection of posts from the subreddit Am I the...

Self explanatory, really. This week on the podcast, the boys talk about how bad TV remotes have gotten, Theo takes us down to Georgia to hear about a woman crashing her car into a KFC because she didn’t get biscuits, Will informs the public that a deranged Cookie Monster is haunting Californian piers, Theo goes down to the “Crystal Shop” to tell us about howe specific Ebay stones can help to impro...

As your mayor, I promise you this: There will be no child left behind. That is, left in the car because the Chuck E. Cheese is filled to capacity. Every block will have a Chuck E. Cheese, and every child will get to go in that nasty ball pit. That is my vow. This week on the show, Theo explores some new catchphrases, and brings an edition of Food News that delves into children being banned from re...