Secure Marriage Podcast

We’re just like you and hate having fights. In the past, I (Paul) admit to keeping things hidden from Shannon until the resentment and frustration became so overwhelming that it all came spilling out (NOT a pretty sight!). In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, I hope you’ll learn from my mistakes and learn how to become more honest with each other.

In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re introducing two concepts that have devastating consequences to any relationship—Skewed Memory Syndrome and Villainizing. Once you understand how both of these work, it’ll start to explain why you may be feeling really unstable in your relationship (and possibly in every other area of your life as well).

There’s nothing more painful than getting your hopes up just to have them dashed against the jagged rocks of reality. This happens frequently when a husband says he’ll do one thing and then struggles to follow through. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’ll look at how you can respond to this situation and how you can even possibly prevent it from happening in the future.

It’s happened again. We sat down to record one topic and our own dysfunctional stuff shows up while the tapes are rolling and hijacks the conversation. I’ll admit I was tempted to just throw this episode out, but at the risk of pulling the curtain too far back, we decided to post it so you can listen, in real-time, how Shannon and I work through an argument.

Shannon has this annoying habit of constantly asking me questions no matter how big or small of a decision I’m making. For a long time, it felt like she was criticizing me (or at least doubting the decisions I made). I’ve heard from many other couples that this same thing happens in their relationship. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re dissecting this phenomenon and looking...

How far can you go on with your marriage when your spouse keeps treating you unfairly? It is never easy to start a conversation to fix your marriage especially if your spouse is not on the same page as you. No one deserves to feel this way. More often than not, there’s a reason why this is happening, but let me also tell you that there’s always a way to get over it. All you need to do is to open u...

When men have strong feelings, it usually shows up as anger. Their team scores the winning touchdown… they’re fist bumping and slapping their friends. They smash their finger with a hammer… they holler and swear. They feel stressed… they start barking commands If your husband’s strong feelings end up hurting your feelings, then you’re going to want to listen to today’s episode of the S...

Has it ever felt like you married the wrong person? That somehow the “right” person is out there waiting to be found? If this sounds familiar, then you have fallen for the myth of the “Soulmate”. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we take a look at the concept of a soulmate and things you can do to make the person you’re already married to your soulmate.

In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re going to pick on my wife for a little bit. Not because I’m mean (really, I’m not!) but because the one question she struggles to ask is the same question that most people struggle to ask even though it’s guaranteed to make your relationship better.

Do you find yourself stuck in tiny power struggles day-in-and-day-out? Do small decisions you have to make with your spouse end up in conflict and hours of disconnection? If so, then you’re going to want to listen to the simple trick you can do that will reduce conflict 95% of the time, guaranteed.

It’s one of the most common excuses husbands and wives use when their marriage is falling apart—” We just fell out of love”. But what does this really mean? Is love something that just accidentally happens and therefore can just as quickly end, or is love within marriage something that can be more stable? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re looking at what it means to actually...

It’s just sad that some people are led to believe that lying in any shape or form can turn out to be good. You can call it a white lie or whatnot but a lie is a lie. Period. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re not just going to talk about why lying to your spouse should NEVER be an option but also how marriage can be so much more than just a simple relationship or companionshi...

In most of our podcast episodes we talk about some random fight we’ve had within the last few days. In this episode, we conveniently ended up having the disagreement just as the tape was starting to roll. Even though it’s not easy, we thought we’d let you listen in and see how Shannon and I resolve conflict in real time. This is just one more example of what we’ve been sayi...

When was the last time you said or did something awful to your spouse because you are stressed out? If you’re like us, you’ve probably lost it at some point and ended up hurting each other emotionally. In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we share with you how I have to deal with my personal stress to avoid hurting Shannon’s feelings.

Do you feel like your spouse isn’t as engaged as they were before? Does it feel like they’re slowly drifting away, and you can’t do anything to keep the marriage together? Where do you even start? How do you even start when the person you LOVE and devoted your life to doesn’t have the same intensity and passion they once have towards you? These are tough questions, I know....

In a recent survey, people were asked, “What makes you feel hopeless in your marriage?” Out of all the answers, there was one overwhelming theme. To see if this issue is in your marriage, you’ll need to listen to this week’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast where you’ll learn how to prevent this same issue from ruining your marriage.

Have you ever thought (or said to your spouse), “If I can’t get what I want, then you won’t get what you want!” Amidst a brewing argument, you need to learn how to step back, calm down, and carefully think about how your response will affected your marriage. When you marriage comes first, it will change how you respond every time. In today’s episode of the Secure Marr...

We hear the phrase “Unconventional Love” all the time, but do you really know what it means? More importantly, do you know what it’s like to experience it with your husband or wife? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’re going to define what it means to love someone unconditionally and how you can grow this type of love in your marriage.

Do you find it hard to start a conversation with your spouse about the things that are slowly tearing your relationship apart? Most of the time, these can be deal breakers in your marriage and need to be addressed right away. Where should you begin and how would you identify the cause of these issues?  In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re going to talk about “The...

When your husband isn’t available emotionally, it’s tempting to turn to other empathetic men and share all of your marriage problems with them. At first it feels helpful and harmless. In the long run, it can create bigger problems for you and your marriage. In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re addressing this difficult question and offering some healthier alterna...

When you come home from work tired, it’s hard getting into a marriage mindset. You just want to sit down, relax, and turn your brain off. Having to intentionally engage with your husband or wife isn’t always easy, but it is essential. In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we talk about the very real struggle of keeping a good attitude when your survival brain is screaming to f...

Living with a narcissist is one of the most taxing and damaging thing that can happen to a spouse. It isn’t until years have passed and much of the damage has been done that a husband or wife starts to feel the effects and realizes it’s no longer sustainable. In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re looking at what to do if you find yourself in this situation and how...

There’s a thousand things that can make your marriage miserable. But at the top is one simple thing that I see in every marriage that is struggling. When I show couples how to fix this one thing, they report being happier, having less fights, and finally feeling connected and appreciated again. If your marriage isn’t running as smooth as you like, then listen to this episode of the Sec...

If you struggle with anxiety, you already know it affects not just you but your spouse as well. Your ever-present fears start to rob you of your freedom and end up putting unnecessary restrictions on your husband or wife. If you’re tired of the constant battles (both inner and outer), this episode of the Secure Marriage podcast will show you the first steps you can take to live a more relaxe...

New jobs… Moving… Having a baby… We all go through season where things get a little stressful. Usually, instead of thriving, you’re in survival mode and just trying to make it through each day. In today’s podcast episode, we’re answering one of our listener’s question on how to be your best while going through one of these survival periods. We hope you enj...