Secure Marriage Podcast

It’s a big big day for Shannon and I here on the Secure Marriage Podcast. We’ve hit 200 episodes and almost 100,000 downloads! To celebrate we’re doing something BIG for you and your marriage. Just listen to today’s episode to find out how to get involved.

Why doesn’t my husband want to try to understand me or my feelings? Why does he make ME feel so bad whenever I want to talk about how he’s hurt me? If this sounds like your relationship, you’re not alone. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we want you to understand that your feelings DO matter and what steps you can take to try to make your marriage better.

If you’re in a relationship with a man who treats you poorly but you keep hoping he’s going to change overnight and become kind, empathetic, and loving, then you are struggling with Beauty and the Beast Syndrome. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we talk about why this story line is so tempting to women and why you’ll remain stuck in bad relationships until you change this magical...

Does your interactions with coworkers of the opposite sex make your spouse uncomfortable? Have those situations caused accusations, mistrust, and conflict in your relationship? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re tackling this tricky issue and showing what the real issues are that need to be addressed in the relationship. If you have found yourself in this situation, we hope y...

The way we receive care as a child affects how we engage in relationships for the rest of our lives. For a lot of people, your attachment style leaves you feeling anxious and unsure. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re talking about the specific issues anxious attachment creates and two things you can do to start responding better in your relationships.

If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “I wish we had better communication in our marriage” then we have an incredible new course that you’re going to love. It’s intentionally designed to be super short (under an hour), super engaging (you’re guaranteed to laugh in every video), and super helpful. Listen to today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast to learn more about the new program and how...

After spending the last few days being grumpy, I’m finally coming out from under the emotional cloud and I found myself really wanting to get connected to Shannon again. Why does this happen? What is it about our hard-wiring that makes us need and crave connection? These are the things we’re working on in today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast. Take a few minutes to listen and let us know...

The last two days I’ve been “that husband” who’s been in a really bad mood and acting surly and grumpy with my wife and kids. And yet, I’ve been able to stay emotionally connected and not hurt their feelings. We understand if this might sound like crazy talk to some of you. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we want to walk you through how it’s done and how you can learn to do it t...

Policemen. Firemen. EMT’s. Doctors. Nurses. We’re grateful for each and every one of them. And yet, statistics show these first responders tend to have a higher divorce rate when it comes to relationships. There’s a very clear reason why this tends to happen, and that’s what we’re talking about in today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast. If you happen to be in one of these professions, we h...

We are designed to heal. It doesn’t happen fast… the process isn’t always predictable… But it does always happen. In this follow up episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’re checking in on Shannon and seeing how the grieving process is going after she discovered the loss of her necklace in last week’s episode.

It’s been a painful couple of days for Shannon. Yesterday, she found out she lost something that’s incredibly precious to her and the grief and loss hit her like a ton of bricks. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll tell you more of the story and how I, as her husband, have the honor and privilege of sitting in these intense feelings with her.

How do you rebuild trust if your spouse has cheated on you? Infidelity is a deeply personal and painful experience, and there are things that you can do that will help rebuild trust faster. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’re looking at one of the common conflict points a couple has to work through after a spouse has had an affair.

Do you like to tell your spouse what to do? Are you “helping” your spouse by giving advice and they just haven’t learned to appreciate your deeper levels of wisdom and experience? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, Shannon is in the driver’s seat (literally) as we discuss why giving advice to your spouse isn’t always as helpful as you think.

Everyone struggles with some level of self-criticism. So how do we support our spouse when they get stuck in an extended season of beating themselves up? Can we do things that help them snap out of it faster? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast you’ll hear us share our own story of dealing with this issue and the simple, but powerful, things we did that helped the most.

In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re sharing a major life change for Shannon, myself, and our entire family. As with any major change, there’s the chance for strong feelings and high levels of stress. You’ll hear how we process through making the decision and what’s next for us. We hope you enjoy!

Last Saturday, I had a run in with one of “those people” who ends up on the news for getting kicked off of an airplane. It made for a very interesting and stressful flight between LAX and Portland. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast listen in as we share how we handled the situation and what you can do when you’re faced with extremely controlling people.

We all have this built in alarm system that works hard to prevent us from looking bad. So what happens when you spouse needs something and there’s the chance you may end up looking foolish? Do you choose to protect your ego or do you sacrifice for the needs of your spouse? This is the question we’re wrestling with in today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast. We hope you find it thought provo...

The trip from LAX to our hotel didn’t go quite as planned today. In this episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, listen in as we process how we handled disappointing situations and how my (Paul’s) poor responses in the past used to ruin our times together.

What do you do with this statement? How are you supposed to respond? What does it actually mean? Is there anything you can do to change her feelings and help her fall in love with you again? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’ll help interpret the meaning behind this statement and show you why there’s still hope for your relationship

If your wife has also devoted a large part of herself to being a mom, when the kids are ready to leave the nest, your wife might need some help figuring out who she is. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast Shannon shares her own journey and what it’s like after raising four kids.

When my best intentions get executed poorly and end up hurting Shannon’s feelings I sometimes wish she could just read my mind and see that my motivations were good. Unfortunately, that doesn’t exist yet. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’re talking giving each other the benefit of the doubt and how it can lead to a happier marriage.

When other people make mistakes or don’t plan ahead and it costs you time, energy, or money, how do you respond? Early in my marriage, my responses were not that gracious and my wife took the brunt of my frustration and anger. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’ll show you what a better response looks like and how you can start to incorporate it into your everyday lives.

How do you measure connection in a marriage? What exactly is it and how do you get more of it when it’s missing? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast you’ll get to enjoy listening to Shannon do her best trying to explain how it all works and eventually come to a clear understanding of how to get more connected to your spouse.

Has it ever felt like your husband wasn’t truly listening to you or your ideas and no matter how hard you tried you couldn’t convince him of your perspective? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’re looking at the damage this behavior can cause and why it’s so important for husbands (and wives) to be open to influence.

It’s easy to feel trapped and discouraged if your husband doesn’t think he needs to do marriage counseling. But that doesn’t mean you’re out of options. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’re exploring a variety of options you can choose from that will help you personally and, eventually, your relationship overall.