Secure Marriage Podcast

Today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast is part two of Shannon’s Tough Mudder saga. You’ll find out how well she did, how far she actually went, and how she overcame the mental and physical obstacles that tried to hold her back.

Shannon is an incredible woman. Earlier this year, she made the decision to run a 30K mud run at the end of September. This is the hardest thing she’s ever done, and it’s stirred up lots of feelings about her abilities, her self-worth, and her fear of failure. It also stirred up a few feelings in myself as her husband. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’re talking through how we,...

You may have a hard time believing this (we did at first), but research shows that couples who said they were “unhappily married” later reported being “happily married” just five years later. So what the heck changed? What “magic bullet” did they find that made them like their spouse, their relationship, and their marriage better? That’s exactly what we’re going to figure out in today’s episode of...

If you’ve listened to the Secure Marriage Podcast for any amount of time, you’ve probably heard us say, “It’s not your spouse’s job to make you happy.” But if you’re still being hurt by your husband or wife, how do you find happiness within yourself? That’s an excellent question. Thanks for asking. In today’s episode, you’ll learn how Shannon found happiness despite her depression and how you can...

If your husband refuses to do the things to learn how to be a better husband, you’ll want to listen to today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast. In a rare move, we blatantly take sides and have some strong recommendations for both people in this situation.

I (Paul) have been going through a season of depression. Obviously, it affects Shannon and our daily interactions. On today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we thought we’d share the things we’re doing to manage and make sure we don’t end up disconnected and frustrated with each other.

Being rejected every time you ask for sex is bound to lead to strong feelings of resentment, frustration, and disappointment. The low sex-drive person probably doesn’t feel that great as well.  Most couples that have a sexless marriage have multiple issues going on under the surface that need to be addressed before they can experience true physical intimacy. In today’s episode of the Secure M...

Yep. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re talking about money. But, like with all things marriage, we’re not just talking about money but the underlying issues that get stirred up around money—things like control, and power, and communication, and empathy, and values, and several more core issues to having a happy marriage.

We’ve all heard the platitude, “Happy wife, happy life.” But, what would happen if we took that idea seriously? When a husband and a wife work hard at encouraging each other, their marriage becomes sweeter and sweeter each year. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’ll share with you one of the best ways (if not THE best way) to make your spouse feel loved and cared for. We really...

If you’re getting married (or engaged), you want to make sure you’re compatible with each other and marrying the right person. You also want to make sure you haven’t missed any hidden things that could sabotage your relationship. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we talk about the three tools we offer that ensure you start your marriage off on the right foot.

If your husband has grown distant and the spark has started to fade in your marriage, in today’s episode of the Secure Marriage podcast you’ll learn the thing you should do to make your husband fall in love with you again. We hope you enjoy.

Yes. This was a real question that was posted, so we decided to give it a real answer in today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast. We also decided to go a little deeper and discuss what causes someone to feeling like they need to resort to this behavior and how it will probably create more problems than solutions. We hope you find it entertaining and helpful.

Comparison and accusation will kill your marriage. Telling someone they’re inadequate because you’ve done more will never build trust and intimacy in your relationship. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re looking at why the tit-for-tat mentality can take over in a relationship and how to avoid all the negative consequences that come with that toxic behavior.

If you’re considering separating and you want to do it in a healthy and productive way, today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast will lay out some clear steps and guidelines you can follow so the time can become healing instead of divisive.

Why do you say the meanest things when you’re fighting with your spouse? Why can’t you control your temper and your tongue? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, you’ll find out why it’s so hard to say nice things when you’re angry and why it IS possible to stop being mean and start treating each other with kindness and respect (even when you’re angry at each other).

In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’re addressing a very real problem… having to deal with a spouse that has no desire (or ability) to change. Here’s just a few of the comments I’ve read in the last two days from people who are stuck in this type of relationship: “I’ve been fighting for us for 10years. I’m tired of fighting alone.” “This is the last time I allow myself...

Early in our marriage I didn’t know how to love my wife well. Because I never had anyone show me exactly what to do, I was guessing and making things up as I went along. Unfortunately, I was hurting Shannon and causing more problems. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re going to talk about the things I wish I would have learned earlier and how you don’t have to wait to learn th...

Has your husband been pulling away emotionally? Does it feel like there’s a bigger and bigger gap growing between the two of you and no matter how much you pursue him, you continue to feel lonely? In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we dissect the situation and show you one of the magical ways you can get your husband to start pursuing you without having to make him change one iota.

The other day, I suggested to Shannon that we try a little experiment and see if we can be 100% honest with each other for the next 48 hours. The idea was, “Could we build enough trust where we don’t have to be afraid of being our honest selves and we could be fully vulnerable and transparent with each other.” Well.. it was a good idea, but we hit a few bumps along the way. In today’s episode of t...

I wish today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast was based on theory. Unfortunately, I, like a lot of other husbands, have the uncanny ability to spin problems to make myself look good and leave Shannon feeling like everything is her fault. This is not something I want to continue. We hope that as we work on improving our relationship, you’ll learn valuable lessons from our mistakes and end u...

If you choose to be married and/or have kids, you are making the decision to no longer live your life for yourself. It’s inevitable that, at some point, your selfish survival brain is going to kick in and start reminding you of everything you’ve had to give up. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we’re talking about how to navigate these internal hurts and how to talk about them wit...

What do you do if you realize you haven’t been the kindest of husbands for the majority of your marriage and your wife tells you she’s no longer attracted to you? What can you do to change her feelings? Is it too late or are you going to be stuck in a loveless marriage? These are the real life issues we’re dealing with on today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast. If you find it helpful or kn...

In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast, we talk about the difficult task of having to set boundaries with someone you truly love but who is making really bad life decisions. We’re answering questions like, “How do you speak the truth in love?” and “How do you be firm but kind?” We hope you find it helpful.

Oftentimes, the biggest changes come from the smallest actions. In today’s episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast we’ll show you the little things you can start doing today that will lead to major changes in your relationship.

This week, while training for her Tough Mudder, Shannon had a little “accident”. This experience reminded us both of the importance of knowing how to care for each other when one of us is in some level of crisis. We hope you enjoy the latest episode of the Secure Marriage Podcast.