Second Rate Saints Podcast

Hey, check this out, it's a new podcast recording from Second Rate Saints. This time, join Joel and Caleb as they break down reader response theory; a framework for understanding scripture. Is that a serious enough description for everyone? Okay, good, cause I've gotta run and shoot up some some'a'dem varmints in ma yard since they keep eating ma pimentos. You realize how difficult it is to grow p...

In this one, they talk about the gays. And the feminists. And the wokes. And the progressive theologians. And the conservatives. And the fundamentalists. And the atheists. And the agnostics. And the heretics. And the saints. And the sinners. And the popes. And the bishops. And the nuns. And the monks. And the exorcists. And the demonologists. And the angel whisperers. And the holy rollers. And the...

You ever see those new Bob the Builder episodes. Not sure if they're like, new new. But they turned our boy into a CG abomination. What happened to our lovingly, cheaply made Claymation. My son didn't care at all, but that's because he's a baby. And babies are awful critics! That's why I have to get involved now. I don't know if this is woke stuff, but I don't like it! It's weird and new. And noth...

Kirk Cameron is our last hope. Say it with me. Kirk Cameron is our last hope in our fight against Nicolae Carpathia. If we don't move quick, then that ambiguously accented European is gonna take away our guns and cigarettes. Dagnamit, that's not why my great-great-granddaddy died fighting those raskily Balkans. You can take my cigarettes from my cold, dead, red-white-&-blue fingers. Now hush u...

So this was supposed to be uploaded last week, but Josh had to run out and grab some milk before we could upload it. Don't ask me why we had to wait, but he insisted. He threatened my body with physical violence, saying that if I didn't wait for him to personally approve of a episode description, then he would "grab me by my toes and whip me around his head like Willow Smith did with that pony tai...

Guys, settle a debate for me. If Ben Shapiro and Tucker Carlson were in a fight, and Trump was doing that emperor thing from gladiator where he gives the thumbs-up and thumbs-down thing, and Cenk Uyger was the lion in the pit trying to eat them, and Bernie Sanders was the cheerleader dancing on the side, and Tom Cruise was jumping out of a plane into the colosseum, and Mark Zuckerberg was teleport...

Ecumenism.... eh-qiu-men-ism.... this is a word that brings us here together this day. It is important, and... ah.... well we all understand it's significance. How it affects Christianity because of.... uh... Jesus. Cause, you know, he died and rose again. That's not ecumenism. That's the resurrection. Which is also important. But this ecumenism is different, but also related, I think. Cause it's...

Wee-woo, wee-woo, wee-woo . Looks like my ' nerd alert ' is going off. That can only mean one thing. The boys spend an 1 hour and 34 minutes talking about stats they pulled form Pew Research. Sounds like NERD STUFF TO ME! Now get outa my way, I got a sports-ball game to watch and a beer can to smash. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the podcast. And hopefully, you can learn something from these Secon...

Mary did you know, that tons of dudes would argue 'bout your 'sumption. Mary did you know, that you're always blue. Your clothes, I mean, not your face. If you could tell me why, that'd be very helpful cause I can't get an answer. Seriously, I don't know. Also you do that hand thing and I'm not quite sure what's going on there and at this point, I feel like if I ask then I'll be called a fraud. Gu...

Oh, I didn't see you there. You really should let a fella know when you pop up like that. Well, all's well that ends well. At least I didn't myth you- er... I mean miss you. Golly-gee, that was embarrassing. You wouldn't go around telling folks about this blunder of mine now would you? Ha, yeah, we have good laughs together, don't we. These will be the times we remember in our later years, huh? Bu...

I'm just noticing things, man! I'm telling you, I'm like 99% sure that the Jews were involved in the fall of Jerusalem. I AIN'T SAYING THEY DID IT . But like, it sure is pretty convenient that they just so happened to be there. Just like how it was pretty convenient that the queen of Ahasuerus just so happened to become Jewish the same time they started making explicitly pro-jew laws, allowing the...

Second Rate Saints: Episode V - Revenge of the Saints After like 3 months of being on the run from the Canadian authorities, the boys have finally remembered their login password. That's right, they're back and have got some dead horses to beat. That means they've got nothing more to lose. Bye-Bye general audiences, this show has officially gone PG-13! That means more banter! More physical comedy!...

Crusades? ALIVE, bro, pulsing in Christian nationalism’s veins , a holy Molotov lobbed at globalist Antichrist overlords . History books? LIES! Ain’t knights, it’s God’s AR-15 saints, Jerusalem to Jan 6, smiting Deep State woke fiends . Bible’s a WAR scroll , violence the key when Satan’s puppets rig the Fed, CNN, borders . Deus Vult? No meme, it’s Charlemagne’s ghost jacked on Red Bull, ready for...

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the spiritual showdown of the century on the Second Rate Saints podcast! In this corner, we’ve got the Sacramental Smasher, Caleb what's-his-name defending the sacred power of baptism as a divine sacrament, ready to dunk with holy authority! And in the opposite corner, the Symbolic Slinger Colton something-or-other, wielding the might of metaphor, arguing baptism’s...

Ever sit through one of those philosophy classes where the professor’s all smug, trying to convince you that you don’t even exist? Yeah, that was heckin lame. I mean, come on—just because some French dude scribbled a book doesn’t make it deep. French, you say? Name one good thing that’s ever come out of France. Exactly. Ever wonder why there’s no French Bible? Spoiler: there is none, because nothi...

Okay, so, like, here’s a description for this Christian podcast about 2nd Samuel chapters 4 and 5, which is, ugh, totally not my thing, obviously. It’s about this guy Ish-bosheth—who’s, like, some random dude—getting stabbed by these sneaky guys, and then David, who’s apparently super important, steps up as king or whatever. There’s all this fighting and drama, and David’s taking over Jerusalem an...

Yo, listen up, peeps! There’s this wild thing called "Angel Wars," some cartoon that dropped in ‘04 for the lil’ homies, like six and up, ya feel? It’s got these angel playas, all decked out in mech gear like they’re straight outta the future, scrappin’ with some shady demon fools. The head honcho’s Michael, that big-name angel from the holy book, keepin’ it real. They’re out here savin’ the block...

Say, how many second rate saints does it take to change a lightbulb? 1 to change the lightbulb, 1 to comment about how the light reminds them about the creation story, a third to critique the second's interpretation of the creation account, a fourth to try to meet them somewhere in the middle, and a fifth to make a derisive comment at the expense of the fourth. If you thought that was funny, oh bo...

Remember that time that Martin Luther threw a dog out a window cause he thought it was Satan? We do! And we hauled a Lutheran pastor in to grill him about that and all our other Lutheran questions. Also, something about progressive Christians, confessional faith, and a bunch of that other stuff. But be real.... you're here to find out the truth about the dog thing... So sit back, relax, and enjoy...

You know, sometimes things don't go as plan. You get a parking ticket even though you swear the sign said free parking till 9:00. Sometimes the waitress just hears "olives" when you actually said "no olives" and now you look like a child when you pick them off the pizza and you're date is looking at you funny. And sometimes, just sometimes, you and the fellas completely skip over some chapters in...

Surprise, heckers, you thought that last episode of the Dort series was the finale. We'll that's what you getting for not reading the Canons of Dort yourself. Thanos is back, and he's here to finish the job. And only our heroes, with the help of fan-favorite guest Dominic Toretto, can stop him. Oh yeah! they're doing a cross over episode! This is the start of our shared, multi-saint-verse. This is...

Greetings, cultured connoisseurs of intellectual emanations, it is I, you're beloved description writer. It has come to my cognizance that certain individuals among you have deemed it imperative to dispatch epistles to our hallowed central sanctum, ostensibly to critique our erstwhile oeuvre. From the very nadir of our corporate soul, we at Second Rate Saints Inc. embrace these critiques with utmo...

In this thrilling conclusion to the Canons of Dort Trilogy, the boys finally face off against their arch-nemesis: Thanos. After the devastating events of The Canons of Dort Part 2 (2024), the universe is in ruins. With the help of remaining allies, the Saints assemble once more in order to reverse Thanos' actions and restore balance to the universe by... reading through the the final articles of t...

Guess who's back, back again Sammy's back, tell a friend And tell him that you're really excited for the Second Rate Saint's next extended series where they're gonna pick apart Second Samuel. There will be thrills. There will be chills. Twists and surprises galore! With surprise guest appearances from signature Bible characters like David, Jonathan, the Amalekite messenger man and... uh.... um.......

Breaking News! Known false-prophet just got slammed by resident cool guy, Wesley.... hold up, I'm being told something.... yeah.... yeah.... uh huh..... yeah... nuh uh.... gotcha.... this is old news..... everyone listening to this podcast already knows about this debate.... I need to leave the keyboard.... they won't let the kids go until I release the footage.... it's been 13 years.... the statu...