School of Schlock

Could we have finally come across a movie we actually like? Is it possible there's a Roger Corman film out there that's actually pretty good? Listen in as Tom and Ryan order guava-and-wheat-germ pancakes, develop a Maxwell quote button, share their families' blood soup recipes, and speculate on whether Walter Paisley is actually Dr. Who. Repetition is death, and everything else is graham crackers,...

As we step into a new year of old B-movies, we take an episode to reflect on School of Schlock's 2016. Was Parole Violators the worst film that we watched this year, or did another film take the crown? Who was the worst character? What visual effects left us reeling, and what moment or line in a film left us the most nauseated? Find out in our first annual Schlocky Awards, where we crown the Worst...

It's our holiday episode, so of course that means lots of Santa Claus, lots of singing children, and also lots of scheming Martians! Listen in as Tom and Ryan discuss the relative intelligence of Santa, the relevance of former Nazi scientist Dr. Werner von Braun, and whether or not Santa is a benevolent ruler of his many puppet governments. Put on your robot costumes and polar bear suits, because...

Once in a while in your B-movie travels, you come across a movie that's so awful in every regard that you wish you could throw its creators in jail. Well the makers of Parole Violators have violated their own movie-making parole by creating an action film so insipid, so utterly terrible, that it might rank with some of the worst movies of all time! Listen to Tom and Ryan as they discuss the suffer...

Every hunter will tell you that there is no more vicious or deadly a creature than the tiny shrew. And any sci-fi moviegoer will tell you to stay far, far away from the film The Killer Shrews. But Tom and Ryan aren't known for listening to good advice, so they watch and discuss it anyway! Listen in as they chat about the best dog costumes, the solution to the overpopulation problem, and why a dull...

Everyone loves luchador wrestling, and everyone loves movies, so of course everyone should love luchador wrestling movies. Throw some vampires and hieroglyphs into the mix and you've got a recipe for one hell of a match...er, uh, movie! Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest (and wrestling expert) Jess as we answer our Santophones, get karated by a werewolf, and learn the secret to getting moonshot-hot...

In the late 70s and early 80s, you couldn't throw a cat without hitting a Jaws horror ripoff. This one takes that time tested monster-in-the-water formula and layers in some Greek mythology, virgin sacrifice, and James Earl Jones. So join Tom and Ryan for our Halloween episode as we discuss Academy Award-winning actors, military juntas, and ravenous sex demons in the 1982 horror flick Blood Tide!...

"Big Boy" Williams stars in the first B-western that Tom and Ryan have managed to rustle up. Listen in as our brave posse of two talk about horse rescues, poisoned pudding, and offensive caricatures! So open a trap door, knock over a few tables, and settle in for Big Boy Rides Again!   Episode Time Stamps:     0:02:51 - Film Summary   0:29:20 - Film Background    0:52:09 - The Good   1:01:11 - The...

A giant white ball! An invisible man! A whole lot of people talking for a very long time! Tom and Ryan are here to tell you about it all, and they even find time to fit in discussions about murder-by-shot-put, drugged-out scientists, and atom-bomb-related conservational faux pas. Put down your telescopes and your chess games and come give a listen to The Cosmic Man!     Episode Time Stamps:     0:...

What do you do when a giant, awful puppet is terrorizing the skies? Turn to the scientific experts, Tom and Ryan, who can give you all the information you need about French-Canadian folklore, anti-matter screens, smaller-than-normal atoms, and flirting using baseball analogies. Keep your shirt on and follow these instructions to the letter, and you'll be able to defeat The Giant Claw!     Episode...

It is with greatest pride and deepest pleasure that we welcome you to The Intruder, featuring everything you would expect in a good mystery: a boat, an ape, and skeletons! Listen in as Tom and Ryan solve a murder, chastise a detective, speak fluent French, and determine which character in the film should have their own HGTV show.   Episode Time Stamps:   0:03:16 - Film Summary   0:29:14 - Film Bac...

This film is more fun than a pack of wild skulls! This week Tom and Ryan talk about decorative ponds, bad paintings, creepy folktales, and...oh yeah, a greedy husband's nefarious murder plot and the heroic skeleton ghost that stops it from happening! At least, I think that's the plot of The Screaming Skull.   (WARNING: THIS EPISODE MAY KILL YOU!)     Episode Time Stamps: 0:02:22 - Film Summary 0:2...

Science tells us that Venus's idyllic oceans are practically littered with blonde women and dinosaurs! Join Tom, Ryan, and special guest Claudia as they watch rockets blast off, drag rubbery pterodactyls around a beach, and use their robot John to dig deep into the volcano of masculine fantasy that is Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women.   Episode Time Stamps:   0:03:13 - Film Summary 0:13:4...

Everything's bigger in Texas, especially the gila monsters! We try not to get eaten, tune up our hot rods,  and drive around with bottles of nitroglycerin.  And of course we never want to forget to strum our toy guitars and laugh, children, laugh. Laughing's important, isn't it?     Episode Time Stamps:   0:02:39 - Film Summary 0:37:48 - Film Background 0:49:24 - The Good 0:57:27 - The Bad 1:05:20...

The original, 1959 version of The House on Haunted Hill is widely considered a horror classic. We seek to understand why, and instead we discover self-playing organs, trunks full of heads, acid vats, and skeleton puppets!   Episode Time Stamps: 0:02:14 - Film Summary 0:23:17 - Film Background 0:38:20 - The Good 0:48:05 - The Bad 1:08:34 - The Ugly 1:24:01 - Improving the Film