School of Schlock

Here it is! The last episode of School of Schlock. We look back, first on the movies of this year, and then on ten full years of B movies. What were the worst movies we watched in ten years? Listen in to find out, as Tom and Ryan provide a ranking of all the worst films including an ultimate B movie top ten. We also discuss what exactly we've learned in a decade of movie-watching, and what we hope...

Blast Hardcheese! We've got a bad movie that was given the MST3K treatment for a classic episode, but how does the film stand on its own? Can a muscle-bound pilot overcome a mutiny on a massive colony ship? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about non-sequitur dialogue, space witches, and puzzling worldbuilding. It's our review of Space Mutiny! Time stamps: 0:02:45 - Background 0:28:55 - Summary 0:46:...

There's some bad movie classics that we haven't hit yet, so it's high time we watched them! A group of gremlin-like aliens have landed on Earth and are terrorizing a local twenty-something and his friends. Will a combination of a can-do attitude, lots of whining, and some beer bottles be enough to stop them? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss unsecured vaults, insecure leads, and security guard exp...

Finally, a movie that dares to ask the question: what if the body snatchers were British? A meteorite dig site is taken over by malevolent intelligences from outer space, and only one doughy scientist can stop them! Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss flat acting, plodding plots, and the definition of insanity. It's our review of They Came From Beyond Space! Time stamps: 0:03:05 - Background 0:21:40...

Go Go Power Rangers! If you were a child of the 90's, chances are you spent some time with the rainbow-colored superheroes starring in this fever-dream film. But can a slimy, purple villain finally best the Rangers? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about nostalgia, kids' movies, and emergency ball-busting buttons. It's our review of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie! Time stamps: 0:03:50 - Bac...

Spoofs of spy films have been around for a while, and a lot of them are hits But what about the weird, wacky, unfunny misses? This time we've got a 60's spy heroine who's been hired to secure some diamonds. But will she deliver? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss impromptu musicals, convoluted plots, and at the difficulties of writing comedy. It's our review of Modesty Blaise! Time stamps: 0:03:50...

We're back to familiar territory as we review a 70's British horror flick. A reclusive artist hosts some young people at his remote estate. But will they survive the stay? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about magical robes, bronze casts, and discount Christopher Lees. It's our review of Crucible of Terror! Time stamps: 0:03:00 - Background 0:17:15 - Summary 0:38:00 - Notable Scenes 0:43:30 - The G...

From time to time, we here at School of Schlock like to tackle the lesser-known films of classic filmmakers. And other times we watch films made by James Franco. Guess which one we're doing today! In a post-apocalyptic world, can a son find a cure for his mother's disease? Can a robot find love? Join Tom and Ryan as we discuss drug lords, barn-frame towns, and dead oceans. It's our review of Futur...

It's time for a dose of classic schlock in the form of a 50's monster movie. How are a series of murders linked to a carnival hypnotist and a monster that seemingly died out millions of year ago? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about unscrupulous rich dads, soul transmigration, and lobsters with boobs. It's our review of The She-Creature! Time stamps: 0:02:25 - Background 0:22:15 - Summary 0:37:30...

We don't often get to review award-baiting, well-shot historical dramas on this show, but when we do we make sure they contain at least 50% Nicholas Cage. This time an Italian officer falls in love with a young woman on a Greek island in the middle of World War 2. But will the war tear them, or at least parts of them, apart? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk beautiful cinematography, less beautiful a...

It isn't every day that you encounter a spaghetti-western martial arts action adventure comedy...but when you do, make sure it isn't this one! Can a kung-fu warrior and a snake-oil salesman save a town from an evil businessman? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk loose fighting styles, tonics and tinctures, and one of the most controversial actors they have yet encountered! It's our review of The Retur...

Cheap 80's fantasy is eating good with this cult classic sword-and-board adventure! Can a prophesied warrior save a kingdom from an evil tyrant and a demonic spellcaster? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss bloody sarcophagi, projectile sword blades, and poorly done crucifixion! It's our review of The Sword and the Sorcerer! Time stamps: 0:03:30 - Background 0:21:45 - Summary 0:42:45 - Notable Scene...

2025 has come and gone like the wind. But did anything fill our sails? Which characters were airheads? Which movie moment blew us away, versus ones that simply blew? And will we be awarding anything to Charles Dance? Find out in the 2025 Schlocky Awards!   Time Stamps: 0:02:15 - Explanation, Film List, and Lifetime Achievement Award 0:09:45 - Worst Character 0:48:30 - Worst Moment or Line 1:33:35...

What's the best way to remake a holiday classic? Update it with clips from Mortal Kombat, of course! It's the Christmas season, but Santa isn't feeling in the spirit in this live-action re-imagining. Can anyone convince him to un-cancel Christmas? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about SNL cast members, low-budget sets, and of course goth dolls. It's our review of The Year Without a Santa Claus (200...

Sherlock Holmes is back for more mystery-unraveling! This time his nemsis Moriarty wants to see him undone, defeated, and dead. Can Holmes use his sleuthing powers to combat the dastardly villain? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss half-baked schemes, slow-mo explosions, and funeral antics. It's our review of Hands of a Murderer: A Sherlock Holmes Mystery! Time stamps: 0:03:40 - Background 0:22:05...

A large-thumbed woman finds herself, her power, and love at a ranch in the American west. But do we find this film watchable? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss adapting novels into films, racist character names, and the similarities this movie shares with zen filmmaking. It's our review of Even Cowgirls Get the Blues! Time stamps: 0:04:25 - Background 0:29:55 - Summary 0:42:25 - Notable Scenes 0:4...

Alien invasion narratives may be old hat by now. And the same goes for stories of living brains in jars. But what if we combined the two? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about alien brains with eyes, calling loved ones idiots, and one of the worst closing lines to a film we've ever heard. It's our review of The Brain from Planet Arous! Time stamps: 0:03:45 - Background 0:17:30 - Summary 0:31:50 - N...

Halloween is upon us, and we've got a Vincent Price cult classic! A witchfinder is torturing townsfolk throughout east England in this folk horror flick; will he ever face retribution for his evil ways? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about the history of witchfinders, English Westerns, and using paint for blood. It's our review of Witchfinder General (AKA The Conqueror Worm). Time stamps: 0:05:55...

We've got another 50's cheapie monster movie under our belts. Explorers are searching the Himalayas for the elusive yeti...will they get more than they bargained for? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss eugenics, the many psuedonyms of Jerry Warren, and lots and lots of walking. It's our review of Man Beast! Time stamps: 0:03:50 - Background 0:19:50 - Summary 0:30:00 - Notable Scenes 0:32:35 - The G...

It's been too long since we watched the work of schlockmaster extraordinaire Ed Wood! This time a young man has fallen in with a bad crowd; can he be saved before its too late? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about wooden acting, plastic surgery, and flamenco guitar. It's our review of the 50s B-movie "classic," Jail Bait! Time stamps: 0:04:00 - Background 0:29:15 - Summary 0:43:50 - Notable Scenes...

Can Ice Cube save us from an interstellar menace from the safety of his office cubicle? Will humanity lose its most precious resource--its data? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about UI elements, facial reactions, Amazon gift cards, and private industry saving the day against the peridious government! It's our review of the 2025 streaming event of the summer, War of the Worlds! Time stamps: 0:04:30...

What's the most effective way to communicate an ecological message in a monster movie? Does it involve an unwashed hillbilly in overalls? What do you call a swamp-dwelling Bigfoot, anyhow? Join Tom and Ryan as they discuss these questions as well as other pieces of pertinent information, such as condescending professors, blurry flashbacks, and a connection to Dirty Harry. It's our review of Boggy...

Do you have nostalgia for children's movies? What about children's movies from the 1950s? What about Japanese children's movies from the 1950s that are spliced together from episodes of a children's TV show? Well then do we have good news for you!! Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about interplanetary chicken-men, useless weapons, pillow fights, and peat-based rocket fuel. It's our review of Prince...

It's Hammer Horror time, and if you're a British cinephile you know exactly what that means! It means blood, dread, and bare breasts! An evil countess is killing virgins to maintain her own beauty, but will her upcoming wedding be spoiled by those who know her secret? Join Tom and Ryan as they talk about historical adaptations, inscrutable charatcer motivations, and uneven age makeup. It's our rev...

We're back to classic monster movies from the 1950s, and you'll never believe this, but we're dealing with giant insects! How original! Join Tom and Ryan as they watch a safari through Africa and discuss important topicsd such as The Producers, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and irresponsible environmental messaging. It's our review of Monster from Green Hell! Time stamps: 0:04:15 - Background 0:20:00 -...