Sacrilegious Discourse - Bible Study for Atheists

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 29: The Consecration of Aaron and His Sons / The Daily Offerings; and chapter 30: The Alter of Incense / The Atonement Money / The Laver / The Anointing Oil and the Incense. Are there any living descendants of Aaron still puttering around today? Are they aware they'll die if they don't wash their hands? What are the varying degrees of holiness? How muc...

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 27: The Alter of Burnt Offering / The Court of the Tabernacle / The Tending of the Lamp; and chapter 28: The Garments for the Priests. Poor Aaron has to carry around like a zillion pet rocks on his fancy getup. Wife is gonna hit up Etsy for a robe like the one Arron gets to wear! Then she's gonna tinkle like his bells. Support this podcast at — https://red...

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 25: Israel to Bring an Offering / The Arc of the Testimony / The Table for the Showbread / The Golden Candlestick; and chapter 26: The Tabernacle. Basically it's really bad Ikea instructions for building a giant fancy-pants jewelry box made all of gold which isn't gawdy IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER. Also a sewing project if you can get to a Joann's in anc...

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 23: Laws of Human Relations (cont.) / The Three Appointed Feasts / The Lord's Angel Sent to Lead Israel; and chapter 24: Moses and the Elders on Mount Sinai. People get splattered with blood and rest their asses. Changes of season turn into week-long parties. People are urged to invade other lands. *sigh* Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sac...

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 21: The Treatment of Servants / Laws Concerning Acts of Violence / Laws Concerning Responsibility of Owners; and Exodus chapter 22: Laws Concerning Restitution / Laws of Human Relations. Not gonna lie, this section was particularly iresome. Seriously, these are rules supposedly dictated by God on how to treat slaves, virgins, thieves, widows, orphans, etc. The...

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 19: Israel at Mt. Sinai; and chapter 20: The Ten Commandments / The People's Fear. Moses climbs up and down a mountain like 500 times. God gives some basic rules that should have come with caveats. And these folks need undies! Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sacrilegious-discourse-bible-study-for-atheists/donations

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 17: Water from the Rock / War with Amalek; and chapter 18: Jethro Visits Moses / The Appointment of Judges. Dwayne Johnson provides drinks for people whining about dying of thirst. The whiners trespass and whoop . Jethro Tull doesn't sing but he does teach Moses to delegate. And something about socks. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/sacrile...

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 15: The Song of Moses / The Bitter Water at Marah: and chapter 16: God Gives Manna. We sing very, very badly but it's not entirely our fault because the lyrics aren't great and the song lacks a chorus. We learn a recipe for magical food that doesn't exist except maybe in an underground government warehouse, the opening of which will probably melt o...

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 13: The Consecration of the Firstborn / The Pillar of Cloud and the Pillar of Fire; and chapter 14: Crossing the Red Sea. God keeps making Pharoah have a hard... heart. Then he drowns him. There's this pillar walking around, and magic clouds, and mouseketeers. It's a mess. Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/6331d364470c7900137bb57d...

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 11: The Death of the Firstborn Foretold; and chapter 12: The Passover / The Death of the Firstborn / The Israelites Leave Egypt. So many arbitrary rules! Hardcore mass murder ensues on a genocidal scale, along with a d!ck measuring contest. Also, our cat climbs the Christmas tree and pulls down our curtains, so THAT happened. Skip the ads by joining Acast+ htt...

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 9: The Plague on the Cattle / The Plague of Boils / The Plague of Hail; and chapter 10: The Plague of Locusts / The Plague of Darkness. Moses keeps turning off the plagues before his peeps are free. Pharoah never learns. Paul Bunyon enters the chat. Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/6331d364470c7900137bb57d Thank you for stopping by Sacri...

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 7: The Lord's Charge to Moses and Aaron (cont.) / Aaron's Rod / The Plague of Blood; and chapter 8: The Plague of Frogs / The Plague of lice / The Plague of Flies. So much plague! Pharaoh's magicians mostly keep up, suggesting existence of other gods. But let's talk about that hard staff tho! Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.co...

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 4: The Call of Moses (cont.) / Moses Returns to Egypt; chapter 5: Moses and Aaron Before Pharaoh; and chapter 6: The Lord's Charge to Moses and Aaron. God gives Moses some magic tricks he keeps referring to as miracles (they aren't). Moses keeps trying to convince God he isn't the right man for the job (he's not). The people hate Moses (as well...

Husband and Wife cover Exodus chapter 1: The Affliction of the Israelites in Egypt; chapter 2: The Birth of Moses / Moses Flees from Egypt; and chapter 3: The Call of Moses. Was that already 400 years of slavery? Kill all the boys! JK some can live. And oh yeah, a burning bush yacks about his weird name and whatever. Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/6331d364470c7900137bb57d...

Husband and Wife cover a brief summary of the Book of Genesis and perform fairly well on a quiz. Then learn that Nimrod was very likely Gilgamesh, and that he was pretty much a douchebag. Husband falls asleep. Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/6331d364470c7900137bb57d Thank you for stopping by Sacrilegious Discourse - Bible Study for Atheists! Check out these links for more i...

Husband and Wife cover Genesis chapter 48: Jacob Blesses Ephraim and Manasseh; Chapter 49: Jacob's Prophecy Concerning His Sons / The Death and Burial of Jacob; and Chapter 50: The Death of Joseph. Them dudes died, but not before Jacob called out his sons' bad behavior. "Y'all suck!" he shouted before taking his last breath. Congrats! You've completed the Book of Genesis! S...

Husband and Wife cover Genesis chapters 46 and 47: Jacob and His Family in Egypt. There's like this famine and basically they squeeze the people of Egypt for all they're worth and basically it's pretty mf grotesque. We hate it. Slavery ensues. Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/6331d364470c7900137bb57d Thank you for stopping by Sacrilegious Discourse - Bible Study...

Husband and Wife cover Genesis chapter 44: The Missing Cup / Judah Pleads for Benjamin; and chapter 45: Joseph Makes Himself Known to His Brethren. We apologize for all the ridiculous background noise. There is coughing, motorcycles revving, and reading flubs. Also, Joseph comes clean but he's so boring about it. Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/6331d364470c7900137bb57d...

Husband and Wife cover Genesis chapter 42: Joseph's Brethren Come to Egypt for Grain; and chapter 43: Joseph's Brethren Return with Benjamin. Joseph f*cks with his brothers a bit and yeah, the schadenfreude is real. Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/6331d364470c7900137bb57d Thank you for stopping by Sacrilegious Discourse - Bible Study for Atheists! Check out these li...

Husband and Wife cover Genesis chapter 40: Joseph Interprets the Prisoners' Dreams; and chapter 41: Joseph Interprets Pharaoh's Dream / Joseph Made Ruler over Egypt. The baker bites the dust. Something about fat cows and grains that swallow. Famine ensues but Egypt learns to budget so whatever. Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/6331d364470c7900137bb57d Thank you for s...

Husband and Wife cover Genesis chapter 38: Judah and Tamar; and chapter 39: Joseph and Potiphar's Wife. Now we know why people think the pull-out method is an *effective form of birth control (*NOTE: IT'S NOT). Er bites the dust. Apparently it's evil to not impregnate your brother's wife. Joseph almost gets raped. Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/6331d364470c...

Husband and Wife cover Genesis chapter 36: The Descendants of Esau; and chapter 37: Joseph Sold into Egypt. Some boring begatting followed by a story we wish Donny Osmond was here to sing. No raping or incest this time! Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/6331d364470c7900137bb57d Thank you for stopping by Sacrilegious Discourse - Bible Study for Atheists! Check out these links...

Husband and Wife cover Genesis chapter 34: The Defilement of Dinah Avenged; and chapter 35: God Blesses Jacob at Beth-el / The Death of Rachel / The Sons of Jacob / The Death of Isaac. "Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah; someone's in the kitchen I know"🎶 Wife loses her sh*t and rants about rapey men who can't control themselves. The Avenging was definitely appropriate for th...

Husband and Wife cover Genesis chapter 32: Jacob Prepared to Meet Esau / Jacob Wrestles at Peniel; and chapter 33: Jacob and Esau Reconciled. That wrestler came out of nowhere! Don't eat the hip bone! And was Esau subtweeting Jacob, or what? Also - can't believe we didn't make a joke about Peniel / Penile. What a wasted opportunity. Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.com...

Husband and Wife cover Genesis chapter 30: The Children Born to Jacob (cont.) / The Trickery of Laban and Jacob; and chapter 31: Jacob Flees from Laban. We learn there are multiple gods and we encounter a legit mic drop. Laban gets what's coming to him. But not really because they all walk away friendly-like after yet another convenant. Skip the ads by joining Acast+ https://plus.acast.com/s/6...