Rude Tales of Magic

Being on the lam makes strange bedfellows, like the fang-a-toofed rhinemaidens of the Kay River's bloody muddy banks. In exchange for some much needed help the gang agrees to rescue that most precious of things, a wife! But with the Witchhunters' callstones now dotting the Cordelian Pastoral, and their newest enemy in possession of an invincible weapon (and a little standard issue razzmatazz), the...

Soup's up! Come and get it! After a brutal few days on their inexorable odyssey north along the mighty Kay River, our heroes are finally given room, board, shelter, mercy, grace, a warm welcome, the red carpet, succor, respite, and a place to lay those weary bones. Why, it looks like the denizens of picaresque bayou town Froggy Creek simply cannot wait to...have...our heroes....for dinner? Wait a...

BEHOLD, on this Pre-Hallow's Week, we present to you both tricks and treats. Available right now on the Rude Tales Patreon feed is Tim Platt's "What a Terrible Night," a decadent and terrifying descent into the cobwebbed, eldritch corners of Tim Platt's mind. WHAT HORRORS LURK BENEATH?? WHAT TERROR WAITS AHEAD?? WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH TIM'S OBSESSION WITH EDIBLE SLIMES, i.e. HONEY, SAP, TOMATO SAUC...

Nothing makes a journey upriver more convenient and tolerable than that grandest of party barges, the mighty riverboat. Its vibe decadent, its pace, leisurely, its destination, romance. What better platform to view the Kay River and her picaresque environs? But wait, whats this? Complications!? Something that is, upon further investigation, not exactly what it, at first, appears to be!? HERE? In C...

You're gonna want headphones for this one.  Subscribe to and support our new  podcast Oh These Those Stars of Space! O hthesethosestarsofspace.com   Turns out it's VERY good.  Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, we'll post the infamous LOST EPISODE, then it's over for you bozos. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If not, well, we'd love to h...

One second you're ambling along the Switchblade foothills, and then BOOM you're accosted by the traumatized diaspora of the festival you indirectly marooned in the desert (played by the hosts of good and beloved podcast Hey Riddle Riddle), and then juuuust when you're getting used to that BOOM a greater danger appears with heretofore unseen powers and malice. You just can't win these days! Unless,...

[LIVE SHOW TONIGHT! Get streaming and IRL tickets now at rudetalesofmagic.live now! Better hurry!] Safe in the subterranean bosom of the belly of the caves of the Switchblade Mountains, our heroes awake from a well deserved rest, and yet...temptation slinks between the stalagfrights and the wonder-seeking talking dogs of these too-quiet tunnels. Why leave at all, why not stay, when everything you...

Last year Tim Platt (Stirfry, Smellulus, Tim Platt, Davo) decided to try and run his own game of Honey Heist. Thank god we recorded it, because it must be heard to be believed. Unfortunately the audio had severe problems. Now, a year later, it has been fully restored, and this ABSOLUTE TREASURE of a game is being released today on our patreon. Here is but one sublime taste of the absolute FEAST th...

Our heroes yet again find themselves on the run, but how can they escape the once-great city of Ruleshaven if it's surrounded by the seemingly unstoppable Witch Hunters. Help may come from below, but can they find an exit in time to avoid the terrified Witch Hunters' ultimate weapon. Who makes it out, and who doesn't? Will the Big Hole Boys ever ride again? How can we make love stay? All these ans...

ALERT! INVADERS FROM SPACE! Oh These, Those Stars of Space that is! Here is the first public chapter of our episodic, space-based chaos festival from the same Rude Crew you know and "would die for." Come along with us on an entirely new, and legally distinct, journey far in Earth's future, to discover new worlds, to "french" new aliens, and to bravely go where no previously extant IP has technical...

We got A WHOLE NEW PODCAST: Oh These, Those Stars of Space! You're gonna love it, it's the same brilliant (but sensual!) cast you crave, making a whole new thing in a whole new format and genre. It's the pod you were born to love. Jam it in your pod holes or visit ohthesethosestarsofspace.com Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will perf...

We've just announced OUR FIRST IN-PERSON live show in a year ! September 15th at the Bell House in historic Brooklyn, New York. Tickets are going fast and will definitely sell out very soon. Get one now at rudetalesofmagic.live Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will perform cellular mitosis (asexual) and become TWO patreons, and then i...

OUR NEXT LIVE SHOW IS SOON AND TICKETS ARE ON SALE NOW!!! It'll be our last live show until September, so get. on. board. spit spot. Go to rudetalesogmagic.com  WHO will be on the exclusive mug? Wet Beep?  Milker?  Sundown Samara? Only one way to find out! Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will become JUST binaural beats (and crypto tr...

GO! NOW! RUDETALESOFMAGIC.COM Subscribe to and rate Rude Tales of Magic on  Apple Podcasts  and  Spotify  and leave us a review! Follow the show: Twitter:  @of_rude Instagram:  @rudetalesofmagic Advertise on  Rude Tales of Magic  via  Gumball.fm . Support the show: https://www.rudetalesofmagic.com/ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy...

This episode features original music by Huge Today, Tim Platt, and Branson Reese.  Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will spend ONE NIGHT in the old Henderson place and NO calling our moms, and then it's over for you bozos. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If not, what the fuck is wrong with you ? Join us  HERE. Check out our...

This episode features the brand new original song "Ding Dong" by Huge Today, Tim Platt, and Branson Reese. Huge today did the arrangements and orchestration with music by Tim Plat and lyrics by Tim Platt and Branson Reese.  It is sung by The  Soaking Valley Learning Annex  Tabernacle Choir. Huge Today is amazing, they also made Scrum's Theme. Good people. Our Patreon is seriously the best there is...

This episode features original music by B A Kling. It also features a solid 45 minutes of exposition., and you know what? It sings. What other podcast would DARE? Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will replace Prince Phillip as the person in charge of having sex with the Queen, and then it's over for you bozos. If you're already a subs...

Albee's music in this episode is taken from a student performance at the Senzoku Gakuen College of Music. They have an incredible youtube page you should subscribe to here. NEW LIVE SHOW!!!! It's next week! Go get tickets here now! This episode also features original music by B A Kling. Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will be launche...

We'll be back on schedule in two weeks, in the meantime enjoy this interlude, produced by, wait, am I reading this right... Joe Lepore!? Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will be appointed to a Federal Judgeship, and then it's over for the "bozos." All that's missing is you. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If not, well, it's...

We'll be back in  two weeks with the (and I am not kidding here) THRILLING follow up to Maestro. Until then, PARSE with us won't you? The  other episode of Parsely is in a big haunted house and it has the whole cast! Go get it here: https://www.patreon.com/rudetalesofmagic PARSELY is the  delightful creation of Jared Sorensen, and you can get your copy here: http://www.memento-mori.com/ Subscribe...

Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will be appointed to a Federal Judgeship, and then it's over for the "bozos." All that's missing is you. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If not, well, it's never too early to blossom into the patron butterfly THE LORD intended you to be. Do so  HERE. Check out our store at  rudetalesofmagic....

Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will be appointed to a Federal Judgeship, and then it's over for the "bozos." All that's missing is you. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If not, well, it's never too early to blossom into the patron butterfly THE LORD intended you to be. Do so  HERE. Check out our store at  rudetalesofmagic....

NEW LIVE SHOW ANNOUNCED! Check out rudetalesofmagic.com for show dates and tickets! Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will wrestle with GOD, and defeat her . All that's missing is you, ya handsome lil hepcat. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If not, well, it's never too early to blossom into the patron butterfly THE LORD inte...

Our Patreon is seriously the best there is, and it's about to get even better. Soon, our Patreon will wrestle with GOD, and defeat her . All that's missing you you, ya handsome lil hepcat. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If you're not, well, it's never too early to blossom into the patron butterfly THE LORD intended you to be. Do so  HERE. Check out our store at  rudetalesofmagic.com  f...

Our Patreon is INFAMOUS for being TOO good, and in all sincerity, it's what keeps the show going. If you're already a subscriber, thank you. If you're not, well, it's never too early to blossom into the patron butterfly THE LORD intended you to be. Do so  HERE. Check out our store at  rudetalesofmagic.com  for HOT HOT deals on sweet sweet shirts, live show  recordings, and more! We got Polaris Uni...