The Irish Times

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

Comedy EN ↓ 596 episodes

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Author

The Irish Times

Episodes

'I'm morking the 20th anniversary of failing my test for the first time' 23.06.2018 5:59

Ross sets off for the driving test centre, confident it will be 17th time lucky. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'Unless it's escaped your attention, I'm a complete moron' 16.06.2018 6:21

Sorcha wants me to stay home to look after the kids. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Are you saying you want me to be one of those stay-in-bed fathers?’ 08.06.2018 5:42

Sorcha’s landed some job, and I don’t loike where this is going Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I’m the best estate agent you have – and that’s not me being big-headed’ 01.06.2018 5:05

It’s time to learn some crucial differences between GDPR and CPR Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘If she’s never met a brat like Honor before, she mustn’t be from around here’ 25.05.2018 5:40

There has to be a consequence for ruining Sorcha’s royal wedding porty, hasn’t there? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘He was basically saying I’m Leinster and Ireland’s unsung hero’ 18.05.2018 5:33

So I’m lying on the floor in Bilbao airport – in shock Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It turns out that I’m not as blue-blooded as I thought 11.05.2018 6:03

In fact my ancestors – brace yourselves, goys – are from Munster Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Priced out of Killiney? That’s what you get for choosing an orts degree!’ 04.05.2018 5:55

Ross has done a whole series of ads for the ‘Irish Times’ property section Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kielys of Donnybrook could be lost forever 27.04.2018 6:07

Surely Ross can come up with a plan to save a little bit of southside heritage... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I can sense Sorcha tensing up when Honor is asked, “Do you reject Satan?”’ 20.04.2018 6:16

It’s one of the biggest days in the south Dublin social calendar Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I’m not posting bail for Conor McGregor. He dresses better than I do’ 13.04.2018 5:20

Ronan wants to go to New York and hab a woord with his heerdo. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘People need to realise ‘Room to Improve’ is just a TV show. It’s not reality’ 06.04.2018 5:35

You’d have to be up early in the morning to get one over on Lauren, though - and when I say early, I mean before the Happy Pear goys are turning cortwheels on Greystones beach. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I’ve chosen Vladimir for my Confirmation name. After Vladimir Putin’ 30.03.2018 5:19

I grab my jacket and I perform my famous Ironmonger Act – I make a bolt for the door. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘It’s 500 yoyos to secure a seat, non-refundable in the event of cancellation’ 23.03.2018 6:08

Rude restaurants – in Ranelagh – are back and the family has a booking Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Bouncy castles attract undesirables. They’re not for People Like Us’ 16.03.2018 6:09

Just when Ross thought there were no more tears, the floodgates open in Bucharest Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘You’re going to need to find another sucker – Mother’s Day or no Mother’s Day’ 09.03.2018 5:42

Ireland are playing Scotland – but I know my old dear well enough to know when I’m being blackmailed Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘You went down a different route, Sorcha. You had a family. Three beautiful children. Plus Honor’ 02.03.2018 5:57

The Mount Anville past pupils breakfast is like LinkedIn with egg white omelettes and epic insincerity. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Why am I driving a shit cor? Because rugby is no longer a guarantee of anything’ 23.02.2018 5:54

It’s hord to put into actual words the power of my new, one-seat, electric, company cor, other than to say it’s like if you fixed four wheels to Sorcha’s hair dryer, then tried to drive the thing to work. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grab It, Trouser It and Leg It – a proper name for an estate agent 16.02.2018 5:57

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: The agency is rebanding and Ross doesn’t like it Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘All these years, I’ve taken the rap for being the unfaithful one’ 09.02.2018 6:14

Sorcha’s digging her way through a landfill of old memories Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Gord goes: ‘Do you ever inquire as to what your daughter gets up to online?’ 03.02.2018 6:01

‘You’d better look at the video she posted three days ago’... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘We’re from South Dublin – none of us want to work for anything’ 26.01.2018 5:41

Honor is rude to randomers on Grafton St – and Ross has never been so proud. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘When Dricmas falls on a weekend, people are entitled to the Monday off’ 19.01.2018 6:11

Ross discovers that his idea of a Holy Day of Obligation doesn’t quite tally with his bos Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘To my ears, Irish always sounds like someone is hurting a Norwegian’ 12.01.2018 6:03

Ross isn’t on board with Sorcha’s Irish resolution – and it’s about to blow up in his face Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I’m the most high-profile Irish rugby player who never got the Leaving?’ 05.01.2018 5:43

The dude who rings is called Mister Something-Something. His name isn’t important. He says he’s from the Deportment of Education and he has some good news for me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.