The Irish Times

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

Comedy EN ↓ 596 episodes

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Author

The Irish Times

Episodes

‘I know deep down she actually hates that I’m the cool parent’ 10.05.2019 6:04

Honor is at a birthday party – what usually follows is a solicitor’s letter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'I don't mind being buried in Deansgrange. It's a good address' 03.05.2019 6:10

Sorcha's old pair are making arrangements for her resting place - but Honor has different ideas. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'What the fock are you doing in a red Lambo?' 26.04.2019 6:03

Ronan is about to finish college and the old man has a bribe to bring him onside. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘We’re going to miss the Easter Bonnet Parade in Dalkey’ 19.04.2019 5:55

Sorcha is crying in the cor. “How could something like this have happened?” she keeps going – over and over again. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I’m just saying that our kids are three little yobs’ 12.04.2019 5:54

Sorcha is on the warpath after the latest phone call from the Montessori about the triplets Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Let’s just say the match is not a good advertisement for rugby’ 05.04.2019 6:30

Most of our goys look like they’ve been pulled from the sea after their ship went down. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I dedicate each sit-up to someone who’s done me wrong over the years’ 29.03.2019 6:17

Ross O’Carroll Kelly: ‘Inevitably, given the pressure I’m putting my mind and body under - I end up blacking out’ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I’m remembering Fr Fehily hyped up to fever pitch after listening to his Hitler 45s 22.03.2019 6:16

Unfortunately, I don’t have Fr Fehily’s command of German or his record collection. But I do have my own – let’s just say – motivational qualities? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Gout? What the fock is gout? And please don’t say it’s caused by rugby’ 15.03.2019 6:04

Preparation for our grudge match with Newbridge isn’t going to plan. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘We would have beaten you with or without Fr Fehily’s doping programme’ 08.03.2019 5:54

Our victory was slightly tainted when the IRFU stripped us of our medals. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The old man takes his truth bus to UCD’s snowflakes 01.03.2019 6:13

I’m, like: ‘You’re not going to drive around Belfield bellowing insanely at passers-by?’ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

No one warns you as you leave Holles Street, “Kids can be seriously focking annoying” 22.02.2019 5:48

Honor goes, ‘The only reason I’m ringing is because there’s a Gorda checkpoint ahead’. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘A convicted criminal is what this female student person called me!’ 15.02.2019 5:51

The old man has a plan to stop him being no-platformed by UCD. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

''Fock England!’ they shouted as we passed actual England supporters' 08.02.2019 6:03

The three boys experience that landmark moment: their first rugby international. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Ugly right-wing views? Is this about my letter to The Irish Times?’ 01.02.2019 6:09

There’s some kind of protest in UCD as the old man arrives for his talk. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I’m entitled to know why taxi drivers seem to think so little of me’ 25.01.2019 5:57

Honor’s blackmailing skills come out after using Sorcha’s MyTaxi app. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'How does this sound: The O’Carroll-Kelly Institute of Rugby!' 18.01.2019 6:28

Why is there no O’Carroll-Kelly building? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Honor can be terribly cruel – it’s hilarious if you’re not the one on the receiving end’ 11.01.2019 6:03

Sorcha’s What Would Jesus Eat Diet lasts a record four hours. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Honor cops me standing there, staring at her like she’s a dog explaining Brexit’ 04.01.2019 5:56

Ross discovers his 13-year-old daughter has secretly been driving his BMW X5 for the last two years. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Croia called me a Gender Binarist because of my Goys and Dolls party’ 28.12.2018 6:30

‘She said if we hadn’t been friends for 20 years, she would have called the Gords’ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Our way of dealing with our children’s anti-social behaviour has been to totally ignore it’ 21.12.2018 6:17

Ross and Sorcha are particularly tense watching the triplets in their nativity play... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I’m sorry but that’s where this Santa Claus draws the line’ 14.12.2018 5:57

Ross, dressed as Santa, can’t believe it when a boy asks him for an Ireland soccer jersey for Christmas Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'I shan't be moving. I've got a full stomach and an empty bladder' 07.12.2018 5:57

We are surrounded by empty porking spaces but neither of us is prepared to give up this one. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I’m sorry for crying. It’s just my brain feels like it’s turning into paté’ 30.11.2018 6:25

I had to unmute the Mount Anville mothers’ WhatsApp group - I couldn't bear the silence. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I swear on my children’s lives I’ve had no contact with Peter Casey’ 23.11.2018 6:52

Ireland are beating the All Blacks with 15 minutes to go but everything is kicking off in the old man’s corporate box Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.