The Irish Times

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

Comedy EN ↓ 596 episodes

The weekly Ross o'Carroll-Kelly column in audio, read by Paul Howard. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Author

The Irish Times

Episodes

‘We’re fine up here, Ross. I just can’t imagine this thing coming to Foxrock’ 03.04.2020 6:07

Phoning ‘Mom’ is a sure sign Covid-19 crisis brings out the best in people Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Ross, from this morning, you’re going to be home-schooling Honor.’ I laugh out loud 27.03.2020 6:39

Home-schooling? Me? But I’m a complete focking dunderhead... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘The O’Carroll-Kelly Saliva Stakes is the closest thing we have to live sport now’ 20.03.2020 6:30

For five days, I’ve been stuck in the house and I can’t help thinking, ‘God, my family are annoying Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Ross, I hate to be the bearer of bad news. Your mother is on Tinder’ 14.03.2020 6:11

The old dear is catfishing dudes on Tinder by pretending to be only 58about 6 hours ago Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I recognise the look instantly. One cheater knows another’ 06.03.2020 6:27

The old dear was planning to propose to him on Saturday night Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Samuel Beckett’s a writer. He wrote Waiting for Bobo’ 28.02.2020 6:28

The old dear is up in arms because the house is being considered for a preservation order Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I just shake my head... The dirty dog. The filthy hypocrite’ 21.02.2020 6:32

The triplets tear apart an oil painting of their smiling grandad and make a delightful discovery Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Sold to the man in the Ireland jersey with a bowtie tied around his neck!’ 15.02.2020 6:29

Who wouldn’t spend too much at a charity auction for a horrible portrait? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I want you to flirt with the girl on the reception desk’ 07.02.2020 5:47

Sorcha will do literally anything to get Honor into the right Irish college Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘I want this to be as big as the Statue of bloody well Liberty!”’ 31.01.2020 6:08

The old man is ordering a statue of Fr Fehily – with Panzer tanks and hippos, of course Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Críost on a rothar. It looks like Chorlie Haughey’ 24.01.2020 6:29

The old man has spent some of his hord (slash, crookedly) earned money on a statue of the late, great Fr Fehily Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I hate my father-in-law the same way dogs hate lampposts 17.01.2020 6:21

‘He hasn’t come to kill you, Ross. He’s come to dig up the time capsule we buried in the gorden just before the millennium’ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"You’re a camel hair coat away from being your grandfather, Ro" 10.01.2020 5:35

Ronan admits to Ross he threw the race at Leopardstown on Stephen Zuzz Day. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘We should have maybe hired a professional jockey’ 03.01.2020 5:49

Leopardstown proves to be Hoss O’Carroll-Kelly’s downfall by betrayal Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Is anyone going to own up to this Kris Kindle? Is this some kind of joke?’ 24.12.2019 5:47

I love playing Santa Claus. The adulation brings me back to my schools’ rugby days Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Ross, you can’t hold a note. I don’t want you embarrassing yourself’ 20.12.2019 5:49

The Rossmeister gets into the spirit of the season with a spot of Grafton Street carolling Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Goys, does Ronan look like he’s actually in control of that horse?’ 13.12.2019 5:41

I’m like, ‘What the fock, Ro?’ because I’m suddenly thinking about the 20Ks I’ve just lost... Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘We may need to cuff him when we get to Lapland’ 06.12.2019 6:21

A surprise trip to take the kids to see Santa Claus does not go according to plan Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Tubs sees the boys then and – in fairness – he gives them the benefit of the doubt’ 29.11.2019 6:30

Sorcha’s Toy Show dream quickly comes to an end when Ryan Tubridy meets the boys on set. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'The dude goes, The horse is a maniac. He's the maddest animal I've ever seen' 22.11.2019 6:24

Meeting our temperamental racehorse, Hoss O'Carroll-Kelly. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'Oh my God', Honor goes, 'there's a focking horse in the gorden!' 15.11.2019 5:59

Yeah, no, I bought a racehorse, but it's not for Honor - it's for my old school's honour. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

'Me and the goys are thinking of buying a horse' 08.11.2019 6:22

All the posh schools have a horseracing syndicate. Why not Castleknock College? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘It’s supposed to be like Quinta do Lago – except outside it’s Ballymahon’ 01.11.2019 6:09

A trip to Center Porcs leads to an encounter with one of Sorcha’s frenemies. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"It absolutely kills me to say this, but people hate our kids" 25.10.2019 5:48

There's barely a day goes by when I don't think "God what I wouldn't do for a condom and a time machine". But that's parenting. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

‘Munster didn’t beat the All Blacks in 1978. This video proves it’ 18.10.2019 6:39

What the fock? Did the old man pay someone to fake a video? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.