Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium

Theodora has an opportunity: her Iconoclast husband is dead, her son, the emperor is 2 years old. Here she is, a female regent in a world that does not accept female regents. So why not attempt to change the religious doctrine that has been followed for years? Wha't the worst that can happen? 

Audio apology: The first 8 mins has a slight crackle in it. Jeff was in charge of sound this week. Sorry. The son of Micael II, the Godson of Leo V, Theophilos has a vision for the empire, and it is not what his parent's generation necessarily wanted. He was going to be a wise ruler, taking lessons from the mighty Al-Rashid - the wise and benevolent ruler of a caliphate entering a golden age. He w...

The Story of Leo, Michael and Thomas comes to end in this exciting episode of Totalus Rankium. Was the prophecy of the monk-in-a-cave-up-a-pole correct? How did Thomas die? Was it horribly? Horribly, horribly? And just how important is Crete and Sicily anyway?

Leo, Michael and Thomas are three friends that share a prophesy - Leo and Michel will rule and Thomas will die horribly - horribly horribly. So when Leo sees his chance to usurp the old emperor, he goes for it! But now he has his good friend Banquo - I mean Michael - to worry about. Find out what happens in this week’s Totalus Rankium! 

This episode is 10 clips from the first 10 of our Roman Republic Totalus Rankium podcast, available to all our senate members for as little as one dollar a month! Caesar, Sulla, Marius, Tiberius Gracchus, Gaius Gracchus, Drusus, Cleopatra, Marcus Antonius, Fulvia and Clodius!   Want to listen to the whole episodes? follow the link and follow the instruction on the page!  https://patron.podbean.com...

  Let’s round of the Nikephorian dynasty with Michael, the first of that name. We are sure Michael achieved many things in life, things that he was very proud of. It’s a shame none were recorded. We know little, and what we do know is… well, see for yourselves.

Nikephoros, his father, is dead. Now a young, brave Starakios must take the reigns of the empire and lead it to a new Golde- Sorry? His neck is leaking? Head almost off? He's dead? Oh. Ok then, NEXT!

And so the glorious reign of the Nikephorian dynasty begins. There are only three of them, but there were only three Flavians, and they did well! So who knows, maybe this bunch will bring the empire to a new golden age. We start with Nikephoros himself. All he has to do is deal with the Caliphate and the new king of all the Bulgars: Krum. how has can that be?

Today we go back over the reign of Irene, but this time through the eyes (excuse the pun) of her unfortunate son, Constantine. Was he as useless as he looked (sorry) last episode? Or will we see him (too soon?) in a new light? Find out!

Our first female emperor is finally here! And it only took 110 men and 800 years to get here! So how will Irene shape up? It's tough breaking the mould, and unfortunately for her, there are a lot of people standing around worried about her lack of 'advantage'. Will she be able to overcome this? or will the rift with her son end is disaster? 

Poo-face is dead, now his young son must take over and (cough cough) take up the mantle (cough). He will need determination and courage to tackle (cough cough) the issues of the (cough hack hack) day. Find out how he does! (Is... Is that blood? Oh. Oh dear.) Also, this week we recommend  https://pontifacts.podbean.com  for all your popey goodness. Check them out!

Constantine Pooface. The fifth of that name (actually sixth, but shhh). He started life pooing in the alter of the Hagia Sophia and then went on to rule the empire for decades. Unfortunately for him, he ruled during a time of few sources, and those that remain hated him. But what was he really like? We have no idea. but we can always speculate! 

Surprise! It's a short episode about Artabasdos. We were not sure if he deserved an episode, but he got one. Now we are less sure he deserved an episode... oh well...

At last the 20 years anarchy draws to an end, but only because one man was able to grab the reins and reign well for a couple of decades (in the the rain?) Find out how Leo did this, but also what he did to rip the very stability he produced apart. Oh, and there is rumour of Poo Pie. 

Welcome to the wonderful reign of Theodosius III. The man who led the Opsikians to revolt. Ok, no one actually asked if he wanted to. And now he is emperor, no one is stopping to ask him what he wants. In fact, the only thing anyone is asking seems to be: "Did you hear? Leo is on the way..."

The penultimate emperor in the 20 years anarchy and we have... wait for it... Anastasius II! Did he leave a mark on history? Not really. But did he hire Papa John to lead his troops to war? Yes, yes he did!

Another of the emperors in the 20 Years Anarchy. Let's see if tis one is better that the others... he's not. Oh well, maybe he has some fun stories at least.

Ok, so Leontius was not up to much, but surely Tiberius III will do something, anything, of note while Justinian No-Nose was on his little holiday? Anything at all? Anything?

We already know Leontios' fate, but do we know his full story? No. Will we find out in this episode? No. but we will do our best squeezing out as much detail as we can from the scant sources! 

Justinian No Nose - The emperor who lost his nose. Want to know how? And also find out all the other things he got up to in his action-packed life? Give this week's episode a listen! Just bear in mind, if you already know the story, Jamie has no idea what's coming...

Constantine IV was young when his father went away, he perhaps did not want to rule, but perhaps stay in his room not being disturbed. But then his father died and all of a sudden he is in charge - his brothers are plotting, the Caliphate is on the war-path and his generals are revolting. And all he has is a eunuch called Andrew. How will he survive? Find out in this week's episode! 

The second Constans (Actually called Heraclius, but - Roman names hey?) We already know that he had a great beard, but what else do we know about the man? He saw his grandfather and father die within half a year and then he was thrust upon the throne during a time when the empire was falling apart. And he was a child (but still with the beard). let's see how he does...

Part two of this week's double bill, the brother of Constantine IIIb! Ok, his brother did not last long, but maybe this one will - what's that? you've already seen the length of the episode? So i'm not fooling anyone? oh well... here is a short episode on how rubish Heraklonas was.

It's going to (cough) be hard to follow such an (cough cough) emperor such as Heraclius (cough). But perhaps (cough splutter splutter cough) his eldest son, Constantine IIIb (hack hack splutter cough) has what it takes (hack hack hack cough splutter gasp gasp      gasp    cough   uugghh). If only he could shake this (cough). 

We come to another big name in the history of Rome, and we get another extra long episode. Why does Heraclius deserve a longer episode? Well… We have giants on bridges! Sieges! The rise of a world religion plus the fall of a mighty empire! War! Plots! Schemes! A naked horse ride! This episode has it all.