Roast Mortem Cast

Justin Whang joins us as we roast the 90's greatest shyster, Lou Pearlman. This sleazeball failed his way to the top; from owner of an advertising blimp to the manager of NSync, Backstreet Boys, New Kids on the Block, LFO. All thanks to insurance fraud, fishy contracts and a never-ending supply of teenage boys.

Rasputin had one hand in a bucket of hardboiled eggs, the other up the babushka blouses of half the Russian aristocracy. With his creepy hypnotizing eyes, this man banged his way to the highest echelons of power and in the process shaped the modern world as we know it. Did he have supernatural powers or just a dangerous dong?

Chapin was arguably the world's greatest physical comedians. On the silver screen he was the lovable Tramp, behind the scenes he was a sex-crazed megalomaniac on the prowl for underage ass.

Unique rapper ODB sported a slew of nicknames: Big Baby Jesus, Dirt McGirt, & Joe Bananas. When he wasn't in the Wu-Tang Clan studio, he enjoyed indulging in crack, dodging child support payments, & abusing the American Welfare System. Freeee Money!

Felon and drunkard David Marshall Williams found himself in and out of prison most of his life. You see, the one thing he loved more than moonshine was making homemade guns and killin'. His luck changed when Uncle Sam saw his chode-like carbine rifle and turned this country convict into a munitions millionaire.

Oooh nice sweet little Mother Teresa... Nope! A terrible attention whore feeding off of others suffering.

The Loudest Podcast hosts Asterios & Sriracha join us for a roast of composer/party boy Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and his quest for the inbred brown note. ThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThThTh

King Edward II gets in bed with the ruthless Hugh Despenser, Queen Isabella has had enough & the Kingdom of England goes back to war. Heads are about to roll!

King Edward II of England was not the epic monarch leading his troops into battle, like his Papa Edward Longshanks. He was more into noodling on his crwth, playing in the dirt and seeing how far he can deep throat a banana.

You know Black Beard. You know Captain Kidd. But have you ever heard of Stede Bonnet?!? This dude ran away from his wife & kids and took his billions to become the weakest pirate ever. Even going so far to set up a pirate HR for his crew.

These strange inbred Bronx brothers are two of history's most notorious hoarders. They packed 136 tons of trash into their brownstone apartment, blocking out all light to the outside world. We dive head first into the smelly mess that was the Collyer Brothers.

This old bat just didn't want people to have fun! No drinking, no smoking, no gambling... And if you didn't follow her rules, she'd let you know about it!!!

Who do you think is the worst President? Well you're wrong! James Buchanan gave BJs to all the racist southern politicians and was hands down responsible the succession of the South. You know the Civil War... The time that Americans killed each other instead of blocked each other on Twitter.

This Monster Energy drinking idiot loved to beat his head against the ground. And when he wasn't killing brain cells he was straight up torturing and murdering thousands of Russians.

What happens when you take a warmongering sociopath and put him in charge of the military right before the outbreak of WWI? Sam Hughes happens! The man responsible for countless Canadian deaths, child like hissy fits and shameless slander.

Did Andy Warhol singlehandedly destroy art or just invent the Meme? This frail little albino boy had a propensity for watching eccentrics slowly kill themselves at his Blade-style night club (- techno, vampires & cybergoths) The Factory.

Was the woman who gunned down Andy Warhol a radical feminist fighting the patriarchy or just a hobo Hitler that wanted to exterminate the inferior male gender? Find out as we roast the queen of bumming cigarettes and giving out quickies, Valerie Solanas. Plus a extremely kid friendly lesson about the birds and the bees from Travis.

Remember the Incans? No? Probably cause this greedy illiterate asshole and a bunch of other Spanish idiots wiped them off the map. All we got left... Llamas! Drooling, stupid Llamas.

Do you hate four-eye'd, know-it-all smarty boys that like, you know, love to learn and read books? Then, congratulations! You're as much of an ignorant dumbass as Francisco Macías Nguema a.k.a. Africa's Hitler.

The second and final episode on America's founding father Benjamin Franklin. The once dutiful royalist turns patriot, leaving a wake of propaganda, broken families and even the country he helped build.

We all know Ben Franklin as an American Patriot, but was he really?! In this episode, we're exploring the man before the Declaration of Independence. What we find is a self-serving, vain, adulterous royalist that was far from the humble founding father portrayed on the 100 dollar bill... Plus we talk about his dick... yes there are drawing of it...

Asterios Kokkinos joins in on the roast of Charles Domery; serial eater, cat hunter, turncoat and all around human dumpster.

When chubby little Kim Jong-il wasn't watching kaiju or Looney Tunes he was reinvented the rules of basketball, eating ass and starving his brainwashed people. Kim This pseudo-communist egomaniac that did absolutely nothing North Korea. Kim Jong-Un, if you or your spy network are listening, your dad sucked hard!

Was William Shakespeare an imposter? Maybe! We do know this thespian master of the English language believed 'Anyth holeth is thyne goal' and he definitely got his ears pierced at Claire's.

He stole from the rich... and he stole from the poor. Syphilitic gangster Al Capone couldn't keep his dong out of trouble. Whether it was staring down the barrel or slamming a prostitute, his unstoppable scarfaced penne oozed thick, creamy Italian machismo sauce.