Roast Mortem Cast

This German Expressionist Filmmaker was said to only be able to orgasm if he tasted blood. Directing over 40 films in Berlin, Paris and Hollywood he beat down and beat off on countless cast and crew. The result was some of history's most iconic, groundbreaking films, such as Metropolis, M and Big Heat

Like the 1973 film The Exorcist? So did this geriatric, Italian priest. So much so that he used it as an inspiration to make exorcisms cool again during the 1980s & 1990s. Was Father Amorth really battling demons from the fiery depths of Hell or just yelling at mentally handicapped children? Have a listen and decide for yourself.

What happens when you mix religious fame, a skilled smooth talker and a bunch of sheltered, horny 19th century chicks. One of the biggest sex scandals in American history! Henry Beecher, brother of the famous Harriet Beecher Stowe (Uncle Tom's Cabin), became the first American Preacher to become a media sensation. His lessons in chastity, temperance, women's suffrage and abolition, became overshad...

Stevie Ray Vaughan knew how to play the Blues! Unfortunately he didn't know how to pay bills, hold a stable relationship or manage his uppers. Although extremely talented this mooch of a man, bumbled his way through life sapping the skin oils off his bandmates, fans and strangers. Confused? So are we!

Which tyrant of history caused the first ever Roast Mortem mid-roll, “bad vibes” break? Leopold II of Belgium! He brutally and systematically culled the population of the Congo in the early 20th century. But don't worry, this episode isnt all doom and gloom, this smooth brained monarch didn't know which hole to shove his Belgian waffle PP into.

Want to get rich quick? Like 4 times richer than Jeff Bezos? Listen to how this 16th century german scheiße pretzel became history's richest man by scamming the the inbred Hapsburgs, a few popes and millions of german peasants. Oh and he started a beef with the hemorrhoid-scratcher Martin Luther.

Rob Ford and his family, or the Canadian Kennedys, partied their way to the top. This train wreck of a lineage blew, guzzled, injected and smoked their way into the national spotlight all while dominating Ontario politics. Rob's partying and the rise of camera phones gave the world a wonderful glimpse into his crack-fueled late nights with the Canadian chapter of the Bloods.

This French charlatan went around Europe claiming he was an asian man from the mystical land of Formosa. He went to such lengths to protect lie that he created an entire language, history, culture, even maps of his made-up land.

Roman was one big party; orgies, wine, festivals and bad ass gods. Theodosius was having none of it! This roman emperor made Catholicism the state religion and plunged Europe into the Dark Ages. Party Poo Poo doodie head.

It's that time of the year again, The 2019 Roast Mortem Cast countdown. We are going through the ages digging up idiots that died on the 19th year of their century.

Through a series of random events, this 6'6 Italian strongman found himself history's first Egyptologist. Belzoni looted his way through pyramids and ancient tombs, mashing mummies and destroying priceless artifacts, creating an infamous legacy for envious archaeologists that followed in his massive footsteps.

Dick Masterson joins us as we roast infamous man-child, Dr Seuss. Dr Seuss was an alcoholic, adulterer who couldn't get his whimsical imagination or impulsive urges under control. When he wasn't playing the role of a screwy taxidermist, he stressed out one of his "handlers" to the point of suicide.

While she was a diva, Aretha was not a complete asshole. BUT the people surrounding her life, such as her pedophile bible-thumping father and abusive stamp-collecting husband, sucked a big one. Join us as we take a dive into Detroit's own Queen of Soul.

This homosexual attorney was responsible for almost everything terrible and corrupt that happened in the 20th Century. Roy had his fingers in the elections of Nixon, Reagan and was the role model and personal fixer to Donald Trump in the 80's. He was also responsible for ruining the lives of countless fellow gays by exposing them in a time where homosexuality meant losing your government job. He d...

Basil Zarahoff dealt the the world's most powerful killing machine, the Maxim Gun, to most of the world's superpowers right before WWI; all while posing as royalty to nut in as many aristocratic ladies he could!

Gaston B. Means, besides having a hilarious name, was an oaf. This lumbering jackass actually testified against himself in court. How do you do that? By robbing, cheating and stealing anything he could get his hands on under the guise of being a 'Private Eye'. Also known a dick!!!

We're not roasting one but three child star divas! Sadistic Alfalfa got joy from hurting fellow Little Rascals. Diff'rent Strokes, Dana Plato went from America's sweetheart to a drug-riddled pornstar. And Hollywood's Brad Renfro made it big and burned out quick. Did Hollywood corrupt these little shitheads or were they just idiots with a spotlight?

The Great Swoonatra saga continues! Frank's flopping his Italian sausage all over Hollywood and Las Vegas, blundering his way through life like a giant man child. But when his life becomes intertwined with the Vega's mob things get surprisingly violent and dark. See how this meatball meets his end!

Swooning and crooning didn't come easy for Frank Sinatra, in fact he had the voice of a hoary marmot in heat and the temper of a spoiled baby meatball. While his mother was off performing basement abortions, Frankie was off slipping it in whatever he could get his fat marinara fingers on.

Alfred Latell, Travis' great-grandfather, was the original Furry! His red rocket toured the world performing for royalty and superstars. But all good things come to an end and Al's vaudeville act came crashing down as Hollywood took over

Little known Anthony Wayne was one of the shining stars in the Continental Army during the American Revolution. He singlehandedly secured the United States future and its expansion westward. He also banged almost all of his friend's wives and sisters, while completely ignoring his own wife, children and finances. You can only be so much of a hero...

Lord Byron slang his dick all over Europe banging boys, girls and close relatives. For those that he didn't poke directly, he wrote panty-soaking erotic poems while drinking a latte out of the skulls of his ancestors.

Jack Slade was the Western gunslinger that you've never heard of. The fastest gun in the West he kept the long distance freight wagons in Colorado, Wyoming & Montana safe...if he like you.

Three roasts in one! Rock 'n Roll's legendary Jimi Hendrix, his abusive Dad & skanky Mom! Jimi's parent's created a nightmare childhood for their son. That's why Jimi learn from his parents mistakes and use a vodka bottle to bludgeon his girlfriends and have his pregnant baby-momma arrested. Can't raise a child if the police has it before it's born!

John Harvey Kellogg wanted to rinse your colon with yogurt, zap your eyeballs, and pour acid on your crotch. All of it allegedly for your own good! This quacked-up doctor would shame you for smoking, drinking, meat-eating, and meat-beating! Rest in Grease. You will not be missed, Dr. Kellogg!