Richard Herring Me1 vs Me2 Snooker

In tribute to one god of audio broadcasting, two almost equal gods of audio broadcasting play a frame of snooker against each other. Look at Terry Wogan there. Who is to say he isn't listening to self-playing snooker in the picture? Not me. I wouldn't dare presume. Thank God he didn't live to listen to this awful frame though. Some of the laziest and worst self-playing snooker and commentary you w...

Frame 69: The 69 Club. By a bizarre coincidence that probably proves that God listens to Me1 Vs Me2 Snooker, we hit Frame 69 as the number 69 dominates the news and gives a tough choice for the name of the arena. The snooker board is covered in the residue of a Christmas tree and a cat. A baby is sleeping. There's an exercise bike and a wall in the way. But, even so, the players manage to put toge...

Frame 68: One Off My Favourite Number. With Me1's wife at a pop concert and Me1's baby asleep upstairs, the Mes dust off their cues and make a last ditch attempt to raise £924,000 in 19 hours via their kickstarter campaign: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/richardherring/me1-vs-me2-snooker With the world's news being so serious, the mood in the arena is respectful and sombre and this is a time...

Frame 67: A Frame Worthy of the Birth Year of the New Jesus. A week has passed for you, but in the dead film critic arena only seconds have gone by and Me1 and to the same extent Me2 are both at each other's throats trying to seek revenge/prove their worthiness for the controversial Frame 66. This is another scintillating tussle, easily worth the million pounds that the Mes are trying to raise via...

Frame 66: Making a Million. The Mes have launched a Kickstarter campaign to try and prove Me1's wife wrong and show her that self-playing snooker can ensure the financial future of her family (as well as pay for a state of the art playing arena)- it's here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/richardherring/me1-vs-me2-snooker And this is a frame that will reignite your love for this sport of King...

Frame 65: Someone Likes Yogi. After last week's low energy frame, the Mes pull their fingers out and remind us what Me vs Me snooker is all about - breath-taking, heart-stopping excitement. Who will win this? Me 1? Me 2? Or the game of self-playing snooker itself? it's full of Yogi Berar-isms. Which are not as easy as they look. Though Yogi Bear-isms are pimpsy. Come and see Richard do some comedy...

Frame 64: The Ghost of Brian Sewell Stole Our Score-board. The Mes are back, but in a particularly unenthusiastic manner, as if playing 64 frames of snooker has been a stupid waste of time and not (as some believe) a great work of art. But who needs a scoreboard when you have Robot Voice's amazing powers of calculation? And Referee 1's poor attention span. Who will win? One of the Mes I expect. Un...

Frame 63: Talisker Storm. It's an unheard of 3rd frame recorded in one evening, by a man who is very tired after looking after his child alone for 26 hours and tipsy from 2 drinks (though shared between all his incarnations). It is not amusing or interesting in any way. This one is all about the contest and one of the players doesn't seem to be trying so it isn't even about that. This is why you s...

Frame 62: Liono Lion Protest. There is a protestor on the snooker board at the start of this frame, recorded just minutes after the last one for the first time in Me Snooker history. The pair have been eating an omelette and drinking medium priced wine and so the play is not as sharp as Frame 61, but it is not the play that is important, it is the result. Plus the added jeopardy that the baby will...

Frame 61 - The Great Escape. Me1's wife is out of town, so Me1 and Me2 are trying to get as many frames under their belts as possible, whilst the Nazi floodlights are out. But with added jeopardy, the pair are in charge of Me1's 6 month old baby and must be prepared to stop playing snooker and play Me1 vs Me2 getting a crying baby to sleep at any second. Anything could happen. But what happens is...

Frame 60: Urine. Some unusual blips in the statistics of former frames means that the players will have mandatory urine tests after this frame. Will the future of self-playing snooker be in jeopardy and who can possibly replace Herring? For now enjoy the audio action while you can. More episodes: http://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/richard_herring_snooker/

Frame 59: The Life Changing Phone Call Can Wait. In what is surely one of the most thrilling frames in the history of Me1 Vs Me2 snooker, two unbelievably matched players battle it out to see which one of them is the best at snooker. And Me1's wife said that it was a waste of our time and I should be doing my proper work. Well if she ever listens to this, which let's face it, she won't, then she m...

Frame 58: Labour Vs Conservatives. In a politically charged contest, family man Me1 takes on the wannabe Katie Hopkins Me2 on the green board to see who will win the upcoming election. Like Me3 it swings both ways and the finish is as tight as Nigel Farage's anus when he's walking through Brixton on his own at night. But there is some thrilling snooker followed by some rubbish snooker, that will s...

Frame 57 - Ill-Judged. Bad tempers, poor shot-choice and unpleasant opinions add up to make this one of the most scintillating and upsetting frames of snooker between one man that you are ever likely to hear in audio format. But perhaps we see in the play (both the snooker play and the play that is human life) where anger and bitterness come from. Or perhaps we don't. It gets deeply political too....

Frame 56 - My Daddy Plays Himself At Snooker In The Basement. It's the first post-baby frame of snooker and joining the cats as a spectator to the greatest sport on earth is Phoebe Herring, Me1's new daughter, who will one day inherit the family business. Me2 is not as enchanted with the mewling child as his opponent. Will fatherhood make Me1 weak or virile? Will having to care for a baby (even by...

Frame 55 - A Change is as Good as a Rest (no pun intended). Will normality ever be restored in the [insert recently deceased person or animal here] arena? It's hard to know, because what was normal down here was never all that normal. Maybe if they dig a bit further into madness the whole thing will come out sane. Me1 is awaiting the birth of his baby - will that focus his efforts or distract him?...

Frame 54 - For the Sake of old Lang Died. Me Vs Me snooker is still in crisis and there are more sure to be unpopular decisions from Me79, the dictatorial head of the Self-Playing Snooker Federation or Board. But audiophiles will get some perverse delight from this frame as it is recorded with a new omni-directional microphone which seems to work OK. Who will be taking to the green board today? Wi...

Frame 53 - A New Dawn/Low - The Self-Playing Snooker Federation are in a flap about recent comments made by one of the Mes and it seems disciplinary action may be required. But no one could have guessed the level to which their disapproval would reach. And it means a brave new world for the sport of Self Playing Snooker in a development that will surely satisfy nobody. Where a man playing himself...

Frame 52 - Could Ronnie O'Sullivan Beat Himself? An odd atmosphere in the Question Mark Arena this week as Richard seems genuinely annoyed by Me2 persisting in his controversial and unpalatable views. Will the furore that all this is bound to cause in all the Self Playing Snooker Press spell the end of this long-running series of podcasts? After listening to the extremely poor standard of play in...

Frame 51 - Tascam Sabotage? After the excitement of Frame 50, both players are keen to get back to the green board, if only to publicise Richard's upcoming Leicester Square Theatre tour dates. But the Tascam, recently fully charged, is inexplicably out of juice and after a half hour charge. Will there be enough power to get the whole frame in? That's part of the excitement. It turns out there isn'...

Frame 50 - Wang Kun RIP. No one would have believed this when this mad adventure begun, but the Me vs Me snooker juggernaut has reached its 50th frame and shows no signs of slowing down (in fact it might be speeding up a bit). The Mes are both desperate to win this landmark frame and, although there's an awful lot of sponsorship messages to get through (the bane of modern sporting life), this is p...

Frame 49 - 9/11. On Remembrance Sunday the players make their own poorly judged tributes to those who have fallen in combat and those who died in the tragedy of the 9th of November. But they're playing for something much more important than that: Who is the father of the baby that Me1's wife is carrying? There's some terrible things said, some awful commentating and some of the worst refereeing ev...

Frame 48 - This is What I Do When You're in the Park. The Mes make a snap decision to play a frame on the old green board while the house is empty, but little do they know who is going to drop by. In the first frame ever to feature another human being apart from any of the many Mes, you won't believe what happens next. It's the shortest podcast ever and there's some spectacular play, but who will...

Frame 47 - Almonds. In the brave new world of the (spoiler alert) Independent Scotland, self-playing snooker continues in England (though it is not yet clear whether there will ever be another Scotch frame). Me 1 has just been for a 10 and a half mile run, but his fatigue seems to have hit everyone. No one seems capable of talking, thinking, refereeing or playing snooker. Only the new scoring syst...

Frame 46 - Union Break? - Finally they're back. Me1 and Me2 have been concentrating on their running (sponsor them here - http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/RichardHerring - all money goes to SCOPE), but they've found time to reignite the ultimate contest on the green board. And this time they are playing for something almost as important as another frame in their never-ending battle: the fate of the...