Richard Herring Me1 vs Me2 Snooker

Frame 93: Mr Broofing. Welcome to Frame 93 of Me1 Vs Me2 Snooker, this week sponsored by MRB Roofing (http://mrbroofing.co.uk) for all your North Herts roofing needs. And it's a controversial grudge match, as the enmity between the two players increases, which might lead to fisticuffs in real life, but it just means fireworks on the old green board. After a voided frame tensions are higher than ev...

Frame 92: Snooker Egg. Welcome to the newly names Pliny Memorial Nest (like a bird's nest) Arena, renamed for our sponsor Pliny, a fictional crow who died on TV exactly 20 years ago to this day. And as the Tories battle it out to see who will lose to Boris Johnson, Me 1 and Me 2 are also at an epoch defining stage of this contest and the repercussions could echo down the ages. Who will win this tu...

Frame 91: Dying Air Pods. There is still a lot of bad blood between the two players after the denouement of the last frame, but who will come out on top in the psychological thriller? And will the uncharged AirPods last the course of the frame? Plus which player is the best runner and how many drugs and Tories references can Commentator 1 get into the frame? It's another absolute thriller of a con...

Frame 90: Anal Embarrassment. It's an exciting time for the Mes with sobriety and fitness adding a new level to the contest and both players start out in high spirits, but a thrilling frame is marred by post match petulance and unnecessary rudeness from the loser, with potentially career ending disrespect (cos you can't say anything these days, with all the politically correct brigade). Hopefully...

Frame 89 - No Offence. Richard is terrified one of the Mes might inadvertently bring a Twitter storm down on this sporting podcast by making an inappropriate joke, but will they? Or will they let their snooker do the talking? And when these players are on the practice board, who are they playing? It’s an incredibly exciting frame with a denouement that no one could have predicted (apart from one p...

Frame 88 - A Dog and a Dyson. The snooker board is being cleaned and the Mes are 4 months sober, but will this cleanliness count for or against the debauched Me2. I am not going to tell you in this blurb, that would be crazy, but there is incident aplenty, including a curious visitor to the arena (it's Wolfie the dog in a podcast crossover, there's no point in pretending otherwise, she's in the ph...

Frame 87 - Cat Hair On My Balls. The team are back and raring to go on a rare afternoon frame of self-playing snooker, with one of the Mes really needing a win to keep within passing distance of the other Me. It’s a thrilling frame with the shot of the competition thus far and an extraordinary end game that will leave you on the seat of your pants. Also Richard explains how clever it is what’s goi...

Frame 86 - The Contents of a Cat's Anus. The Mes are back, but do they have an ulterior motive to sell you something? If they do then all they are selling is the best quality audio only self-playing snooker podcast in the world. Commentator 1 has all his allusions to Brexit worked out and ready to go, and the trailing Me has some work to do if he wants to catch up with the leading Me. Balls fly of...

Frame 85 - A Lot of Work For Charity. It's been a while but a debacle of a stone clearing podcast has sent the Mes back to the old green board to clear something more reliable, the 16 balls that make up the 6 by 3 snooker challenge. Everyone is finding their feet in this one, but there is some extraordinary play, a new score board, Robot Voice possibly beginning to become sentient and standing on...

Frame 84: It's About Snookering Time. Yes, they're back. It's been hard to get all the players back in one room for various reasons, but they're back in the arena and hungry for victory, even if they have forgotten how the podcast works, how to play snooker and how to count. But for now, all any self-playing snooker fan cares about is that they are at least returning to the old green board. And ho...

Frame 83: Ancient Beam. After the controversies of Frame 82 there are some hirings and some firings into space, but the new blood seems to inject some new super snooker energy into the arena, with an extraordinary level of play which already has some people calling this the self-playing frame of the century. More back and forth that insert a topical reference in here. More episodes: https://www.co...

Frame 82: Snooker Wars: A New Hope. It’s been about 8 months and the arena has moved and the table has gone from London basement to Hertfordshire attic and nobody involved can remember what is involved in this podcast or what the rules of snooker are. But we’re back motherfuckers with a frame wrought with controversy. Is the snooker board true? Is commentator 2 still on board? Where’s the snooker...

Chris Evans (Not That One) Trophy 2017 REPLAY - I Hate St Alban. After the missing pink controversy in the original CE(NTO) Trophy 2017, the National Self-Playing Snooker Convention has insisted on a replay of this crucial annual tournament, this time at the venue that was once know as the St Albans Arena (but is of course now renamed forever). It's a war of attrition and a difficult frame to list...

Me1 Vs Me 2 Snooker Special - Chris Evans (Not That One) Trophy 2017 - Who Sunk The Pink? It’s an exciting day for self-playing snooker, as finally the sport is played in what was once a bastion of two player snooker, the Reading Hexagon. 500 people crammed into the venue to watch Richard Herring do stand-up and at least 100 of them stayed to watch the main event, the snooker, played under a tight...

Frame 81: The Blue Incredible Hulk. A week has passed in your humdrum lives, but only minutes have gone by in the Me vs Me Snooker universe as these two giants of the game play their 76th frame against each other (at least in this particular tournament - I am sure none of us have forgotten the embarrassment of the Me3 Apostasy). It's another corker of a frame which leaves the players as emotional...

Frame 80 - A Child's Organ. We've been away for a long time, but now for the first frame of 2017 the players and commentators have reconvened, having found a mutually agreeable space in their diaries, to play the 80th frame of Me vs Me snooker, in this long-running battle to find the best Me on the old green board. There has been some damage to the board and the room is littered with toys, but it'...

Frame 79: Big Brexit. After the death of arguably the greatest sportsman of all time, Me1 and Me2 must get back together for a frame in honour of that man, but also it’s timely as they have the chance to play for whether the UK stays in Europe or Brexits. But which player will play for each side (even Richard isn’t sure) and is it oddly apt that the snooker board is surrounded by childish things a...

Frame 78: It’s Better Than Drinking Alone - After a heady night and a kickstarter triumph, the players relax with a little drink. It seems to hit them hard though and they both make uncharacteristic errors. And when you think how characteristic errors are for these players that is pretty amazing. It’s a denouement that beggars belief and will raise questions about collusion, betting patterns and o...

Frame 77: Vice-Versa. At times tonight it almost feels like the players have swapped styles of play. Is it possible that they could have switched bodies when they already have the same body? I am no scientist, but I say, almost certainly not. This is, seriously, one of the most thrilling frames of Me vs Me snooker ever. I wish you could have seen it. Catch Richard on tour: http://www.richardherrin...

Frame 76: But Is It Art? Excitingly or annoyingly depending on which Me you are, the Mes have been invited to perform in an extreme performance art event in June, but shouldn't they be being embraced by the sporting fraternity rather than the artsy fartsy genital manipulators? Who can say? You're just here to find out which Me is best at snooker, and this frame should help make that clearer. Or po...

Frame 75: To Kill (beat) a Mockingbird (mocking snooker player). It's the third frame in a night and so the chat is kept to a minimum and the snooker does the talking. A cat gets on the table. A child sleeps. Whisky is drunk. We try to work out if parenthood or self-playing snooker is more important. I think you all know the answer to that. See Rich on tour, not playing snooker: www.richardherring...

Frame 74: Big Brexit (Break). Everyone has been given a kick up the arse and is trying properly now. And it's a big frame this week as the result will decide if the UK stays in Europe or not. Who is right Jeremy Hunt or Michael Gove? Is it ever possible that one of them is right? But if not, then what does that mean? Congrats to all concerned for not doing the 'Is there an Eco in here?' joke this...

Frame 73: A Total Boutros Boutros Shambles. It's been said before many times, but this might be the worst frame of Me1 vs Me2 Snooker of all time. It's amazing that something this bad could have a nadir, but it's all relative. Everyone was off their game from the players to the commentators to the referee to Richard Herring himself. Only Smithers and Phoebe (the future Me2) played their parts corr...

Frame 72: Philip J Rock and Roll. In the third frame played in little over an hour, the intense rivalry of the Mes really comes to the fore, with some intense and brilliant snooker, plus at least on fart and a glass of whisky. Who will end this three frame marathon in the ascendant. And does it really matter? Self-Playing Snooker is not a matter of life and death, it is less important than both of...

Frame 71: Naked Sauna. Almost straight after the last frame finished these two gladiators of the green board were straight back at it, even though the room was as hot as a sauna with a naked middle-aged German woman in it... to see if they could ascertain which of them was best at snooker. Just like Bailey's Comets, the competition continues, never-ending unless it fails to get recommissioned. Who...