Richard Herring Me1 vs Me2 Snooker

Frame 45 - So Fair and Foul a Day. The random nature of events is demonstrated by this frame. Had it not rained in York tonight Richard would have been watching the Division 2 play off semi-final, but as that game was postponed the exhausted Mes were called upon to produce a frame of snooker. And perhaps they need the preparation time as this frame sees without doubt the poorest play ever heard in...

Frame 44 - MCJE Arena. After almost three months on hiatus the world's best audio only self-playing snooker podcast is back with a controversial sponsor, in an attempt to divert focus from the world snooker championship which is still so stuck in the past that it has two different players in each frame and allows video cameras in. Referee 1 can't find the right size triangle and the snooker board...

Frame 43 - I Paid A Pound. Did you ever think that there might come a time when Me1 Vs Me2 Snooker was pay-to-view/listen? Well it still isn't, but if you enjoy any of the Mes free podcast work then you now have the opportunity to make a donation either as a one-off or a monthly thing (in return for a badge) at www.gofasterstripe.com/rhmol. But none of the Mes are in this for the money. They're in...

Frame 42 - Massive Janus. It's the bank holiday fixture that everyone has been anticipating, a new year and a new frame. Some people fear that the sport is all about the sponsorship now, but those people should certainly not visit richardherring.cottoncart.com and buy a mug or a T-shirt. Never fear the important thing here is the self-playing snooker and finding out who is best at it. Happy New Ye...

Frame 41 - Peter O' Tooletide. It's Christmas at the venue formerly known as Nelson Mandela Hall and there's some fun and high-jinks to start things off, but then we're down to the deadly serious business of a man playing himself at snooker to determine which of him is best. Alas fans of one of the players will have their own Christmas wrecked when they hear the result, but the fans of the other p...

Frame 40 - A Tribute To Nelson Mandela. The Mes play tribute to the greatest human being to ever have lived in the only way they know how: they play themselves at snooker. They also reveal how they were inspired by Mandela and how they in turn possibly inspired him. But let us remember him not with tears, but with self-playing snooker. And though it's hard to be sure what Mandela would have wanted...

Frame 39 - Back to Black. Three months have passed since the controversial Scotch frame, but Me1 and Me2 and the Self-Playing Snooker Board have completed their enquiry and we will finally find out if the result of Frame 38 is allowed to stand. And more importantly who will win Frame 39? Everyone is finding their feet again and is unsure of who they are or what they're meant to be like, but the sa...

Frame 38 - Scotch. Me1 and Me2 and the team have headed north for the fledgling Edinburgh Festival of Sport and are playing for the Scotch Cup (the result also counts in their ongoing never-ending battle). And for the first time ever hoards of Me1 and Me2 fans have been allowed into the arena to see how the podcast is put together and to witness how accurately Commentator 1 (and to a lesser extent...

Frame 37 - Roundhead versus Cavalier - In the rush to commercially exploit the Royal Baby Fever that is sweeping the country the Mes get together to bring out this special and collectible Royal Baby edition of the Royal Family's favourite self-playing snooker audio podcast. But one of the players isn't happy about it. Can you guess which one? It's also an opportunity for the Mes to promote the fir...

Frame 36 - More Rich Lavalier - It's exciting times for audiophiles (you disgust me) as Richard has dug out his old lavalier radio mic and so all the Mes and the commentators are properly recorded (though there seemed to be a lot of peaking). Hope you enjoy hearing all the players in crystal clear - too loud - stereo. In what is surely the most exciting sporting event of the summer, the Mes are sp...

Frame 35 - Breaking The Laws of Physics - It's been three weeks, but the Mes are back at the Shepherd's Bush Jeroboam, one of them furious at Rich neglecting them for his movie star pals, one of them thinking it's good that Rich gets to do other things than play himself at snooker which some might see as being unhealthy. But once the talking stops and they let their snooker do the talking the podc...

Frame 34 - The Pink is on the Brown Spot - Me1's wife is at the Saatchi Gallery with another man and it's not Me2, so both players are in an odd mood. They're not really up to much with the chat, but the snooker is phenomenal (and I know this is why you all listen). The cats aren't allowed into the arena because Lion-o has been weeing on the sofa. But on the bright side, when moving furniture arou...

Frame 33 - UKIP UWIN - The Mes are back, all a bit tired out and confused after a long trip home from Belfast. No one seems to remember Frame 32 happening at all and maybe it was a dream or just something scribbled down by one of the Mes to make it look like they could win a frame. But in response to Ronnie O'Sullivan attempting to steal our shtick by assuming two contrasting personalities (one wh...

Frame 32 - Thatcher vs the IRA. There's an odd atmosphere at the Shepherd's Bush (insert name of shape or dinosaur here) with half the team delighted at the demise of Mrs Thatcher and half of them in mourning. But what better way to settle which side of this argument is correct than by having one man play himself at snooker and let the winner decide. To be honest it's one of the duller podcasts (w...

Frame 31 - The Snooker Does The Talking - The whole team have got another virus and they're confused and a bit angry. Me2 wants his snooker to do the talking, but what does he mean by that? There's some sitcom jeopardy with some foreign visitors imminently expected and the popular new non-Richard Herring characters, Lion-o and Smithers are back, threatening to streak on to the snooker board or poo...

Frame 30 - Starting From Scratch. It's been a while, but we've dusted off the snooker board for a record breaking 30th podcast of a man playing himself at snooker and commentating on it (I think actually one frame might have been the record), but disaster hits the newly refurbished arena before recording even starts when a bit of cat litter grit gets caught in the wheel on the table leg and scratc...

Frame 29 - What happened next? You thought it was over? You fools. This will never be over. Not til every last one of you has given up. And even then it will continue, unobserved, unlistened to, even after I am dead, in another astral plane the sound of snooker balls clanking together will go on for infinity, like a roulette wheel that will never stop. It's back (almost) to basics for the show tha...

Frame 28 - Shit in a Box - We're back. With cats. That's right. It's a whole new direction for snooker. The televised game is so far behind that it still has two actual players, but the Me vs Me snooker franchise takes another leap forwards by introducing two kittens to the room. What atrocities will occur? It sounds like a situation designed for video. Which is why the whole thing has been record...

Frame 27: Wherever I Lay My Cue - It's New Year's Eve and even by the low standards of Me1 vs Me2 snooker this is a tired and rambling affair: the players too knackered to line up their shots and the commentators too exhausted to describe how bad they are. In any decent universe you'd never get to hear this, someone would intervene and insist that it was destroyed and that the person responsible b...

Frame 26: Red and Green Baubles - It's Chriiiiiissssstmasssss at the Shepherd's Bush Tridecahedron and the world has not ended - how could it when the result of Me 1 vs Me 2 snooker is as yet undecided? Santa Claus has six empty sacks (pockets) and he hopes they will be bulging by the end of the frame, but who will be the recipient of the Christmas miracle of victory. It's been an emotional year o...

Frame 25: Disease - A mystery illness has infected everyone involved in the snooker podcast but foolishly they all decide to proceed with the match. And it's a dull, snot-splattered, cough-filled half an hour which might well infect you if you are foolish enough to listen. Me1s wife has put up a Christmas tree in the Shepherd's Bush Quadrilateral, which is only going to impede play (what's more im...

Frame 24: Crime and Punishment. After last week's despicable outburst from a player who should perhaps know better the Me vs Me Snooker association president is here to hand down retribution. I hope the game can survive this period of turmoil, but that remains to be seen. But the game must go on and there is some scintillating action for you to enjoy right from the get go today. Commentator 2 had...

Frame 23: Homophobia. There's an unpleasant atmosphere hanging over the Shepherd's Bush Rhomboid today and a lacklustre podcast reveals the reactionary and unpleasant attitudes that are alas still prevalent in professional self-playing snooker. Yet in spite of that it still feels like there is something (or someone?) important missing from this once glorious audio event. We don't know what the fut...

Frame 22: The Breath of Fresh Air - Without giving too much away it's all change at the Shepherd's Bush Isosceles. Desperate times call for desperate measures and it's time to broaden the appeal of this sport and hopefully capture a new young audience who will bring with them valuable advertising revenue. The Mes may be in turmoil but surely that can only add to the soap opera of the snooker board...

Frame 21: After last week's debacle all the Mes are hoping that there will be no recording malfunctions, but if you were disappointed to miss the most exciting frame ever - Frame 20 - then 21 should make up for it. Because the stakes are love versus death. It's a sombre and poignant atmosphere, made slightly spooky by some Rock Band guitars being moved perhaps by some Halloween spirit. There won't...