Rich and Ally's Craven Newsround

Wednesday 11th February 2026 - 20-Year-Old Ejaculate. Newsround is back after yesterday's hiatus when no news happened, but the grown-up news has missed today's big story, an interview with tech entrepreneur Bryan Johnson the man who intends to live forever by going to bed at 8.30pm every night. Just like John Craven in the original Newsround, Rich displays his jealousy of a younger man's ability...

Monday 9th February - Penisgate. Rich and Ally are back after their deserved weekend break with all the news that's fit to talk about. Today it's the big controversy at the Winter Olympics, wherever that is, and the lengths and widths that male ski jumpers are prepared to go to to win. But is the real story perverted cock-obsessed journalists, which Rich and Ally definitely aren't? With a live rep...

Friday 6th February 2026 - Chinese Hotel Sex Cameras. Newsround is back, despite Rich spending most of the day waiting for his car to be fixed. Ally and he discuss "Eric", the most hypocritical man in the news at the moment, who was shocked to see he'd been caught on a Chinese Sex Camera, but only because he loved watching videos of people caught on Chinese sex cameras. Who will be caught on the N...

Thursday February 5th 2026 - Peanut Pile. After the success of getting Randrew Andrew kicked out of his house, the Newsround team turn their attention to the Prime Minister, whether he can survive and how good a job he is doing. Once again we beat the Lamestream media to a huge exclusive, which you can only get by watching our Craven Newsround.

RAACN Tuesday February 3rd 2026 - Eggheads Are People Too. After the explosive interview over the weekend, a regular newsround returns examining the recent statements by FIFA President Gianni Infantino and why he should be judged by his deeds and words and not by his appearance. We have a special interview with a fellow egg-headed celebrity to show just how far egghead prejudice can reach and hope...

Newsround Special - Epstein File interview. Always ahead of the grown up news, Richard has procured an interview with the man at the heart of the Epstein Files story, Randy Andy Mountbatten-Windsor-Balmoral. Randrew Andrew explains what's going on in the pictures with the woman on the ground, why he never met Epstein, why he has too much honour, why he can't wear shoes and what he was actually doi...

January 30th 2026 - Sneaky V sign. Rich and Ally are back to discuss how long they think President Trump will live, whether grey hair stops you getting cancer and a surprising way to increase your output at the gym.

29th January 2026 - BWB. Rich and Ally are back for an impressive 2nd day in a row to discuss the worst thing that has happened in America this year, someone putting a bra on the Hollywood sign. Is it appropriate for men to comment on women's bodies and if not is it appropriate for them to comment on people commenting on them?

In an attempt to bring the people the REAL news, not the lies of the Mainstream Media, faded 90s almost-celebrity Richard Herring teams up with an 134 year-old ventriloquist dummy, Ally Sloper, to report daily (yeah right) on the stories that really matter. With reportage and interjection from other characters from Twitch of Fun, a show sadly cancelled before it could reach its 100th episode. Wedn...

6,7. Twitch of Fun is BACK in this non-canonical episode to celebrate the end of another horrible year and to attempt to tempt some temporary temps to this zenith of Richard's work. There's an attempt to extract an apology from our most perverse character (that could be any of us), plus Henry Hippo's New Year's Resolution and Ally and Rich look back at the Coldplay couple and who we are to judge t...

It's Wednesday, it's 2.30pm and it AAHTOF (AAHTOF) with a soft relaunch of the show after a few months off to give everyone a chance to remember their same phrases. Rich and Ally take a look at some serious news involving the end of the world, golden phones, Musk losing billions, the massive ordnance penetrator, Richard's failing, flailing penis and Dr Who giving top actors deadly drugs. So busine...

TOF #99f Gargara and Cuggy Groccoli - Rich is back with a brand new, seductive co-host and a lot of talk about licking things that you really don't want to be licking. Ally is back to talk about whether he will be the new James Bond, if a woman can be Jesus, whether Neighbours will ever end and the imminent collision between our galaxy and another galaxy. Plus could Birthday Donkey get replaced by...

Twitch of Fun is back but it's just a quick one this week, so not worthy of being Episode 100. But Rich and friends are going full out to be placed in the dustbin of Light Entertainment. Egg Wallace has a new ovoid pal and Marvin the Monkey tries out for main presenter. The team cover Israel/Palestine, Soleros, double bananas (Cocky Carrot fails to comment), whether AI could ever replace this show...

Episode 99d - Seig Heil. Another Friday afternoon catch up - not an official or canonical episode in which Rich attempts to remember what some of his characters do, as well as discussing the Musky arm movement, why Putin was in such a rush, if Obama has got himself a Rachel, how fast Craig David Iikes to move things along, whether Elizabeth I was a man, where to put your bins in a storm and whethe...

It's Friday, it's 3pm and the computer's back but the tech has screws up. But it's all sorted in 3 minutes flat for a non-canon and non-cannon episode of your favourite afternoon topical news show with a washed up TV celebrity and a 133 year-old ventriloquist dummy that also includes a hippopotamus that is obsessed with mammary glands. All right, second favourite. They discuss which dead AI celebr...

Due to computer malfunctions this is the first Twitch Of Fun ever to be released without any kind of audience, leaving us in an uncanny valley which is both weird and revealing, freeing and constricting, hilarious and tragic. There's a new co-host, due to popular demand and Rich and one puppet or another cover Musk going mad, pornographic prison officers becoming pornographic prisoners, the 21 sig...

Twitch of Fun Christmas Eve Eve Special - Hawk Tuah. It's 23rd December 2024 and what better date for a Christmas Eve Eve Special of the show that no one has really been calling to come back? And it's an absolute spitshow full of technical difficulties, dropped props and a host with little to no memory of what the show involves. Ally and Herring cover the death of the star of Crocodile Dundee, the...

Twitch of Fun springs back to life for its 99th episode and it's a heartfelt tribute to the fallen of D Day, amongst other things. There's no pressure to be funny luckily and this is just a conversation between two old mates that encompasses Rupert Murdoch's ventriloquist dummy face, the escalation in the chocolate button war, the two words the Queen said to Fergiana, the destruction of the homes...

An unexpected Wednesday Twitch of Fun from an overly tired Richard Herring, but those are usually the worst and thus the best ones. Ally and Herring discuss walking in Noel Edmonds' shoes, whether the Queen has a furry muff, why blood is like a butterfly, whether there's room for a Baby Reindeer character on the show, Terry's work with various David Copperfields, casting for the new Supergran and...

Richard has had a gig cancelled due to flooding but Bedford's loss is your probably loss as well as you spend nearly an hour of your life in the company of him and a piece of Victorian papier mache. Ally and Herring discuss inserting batteries where the sun don't shine, the end of sex (not a problem for my viewers), a very old tortoise and Noel Edmonds' age. And the Victorian Ghost Child and Fluff...

You thought we'd gone away, but we're getting to 100 if it kills us and then 1000 and won't stop until everyone on the planet earth is watching. Plus God. In this extended tribute to our King, like all other news outlets we speculate on the tiny amount we know about the issue for hours on end. What will be the best cancer for the King to have? Is it wrong to wish that cancer on him? And can we go...

Twitch of Fun is back for 2024 and Rich doesn't seem very happy about it. Has this really been going for four flicking years? God. The team chat about Rwanda, double fisting, dental improvement, various Royal lies and liars, a Chinese wang and Ronnie O'Sullivan stealing Ally's already stolen catchphrase. Plus a creepy visit from a largely silent Victorian Ghost Child in a mask and find out why Ric...

There's a new host for the show and they're going to scare your pants off (as if you had any pants on to start with), but in a show beset by technical difficulties, interruptions and parental exhaustion things never quite get into (gottle of) gear. Though the ventriloquism is coming on. But who is the dummy? Rich and Ally talk about Princess Anne's health, what not to say to the bereaved, the seco...

There's plenty of incident in this week's show including an extended set by Victorian Ghost Child, only ended by a flood and then Ally and Herring talk about stopping the boats, Russian votes, scanning teenage porn users, pissing in lay-bys, who the real queen is, humping on Good Morning Britain, the lies that pilots tell you, how to get a job and what makes you an adult. Richard's new stand-up to...

Twitch of Fun is back and there are no children spoiling (improving) it. It's just Ally Darling and Richy Sweetie and the Birthday Donkey and the death throes of a wasp. The pair talk about celebrity deaths, Dutch Pancakes, lying liars, why men should wash their hands after going to the toilet, whether Elon Musk should rename Twitter again and Eric Idle's greatest song. There's a poignant fairytal...