Rich and Ally's Craven Newsround

Friday 27th March 2026 - Roboteacher. Rich and Ally are back for the last Newsround of the week and judging by this one it's probably good they're taking a bit of time to take stock and get their heads together and sort out Richard's health issues. Two news stories covered today which you won't see in the lamestream media - zip lining benefit cheats and Melania's army of info-robots. Watch Bake Of...

Thursday March 26th 2026 - Very Old Dog. Rich and Ally are back to tell you all the main news to ever come out of Cheddar in Somerset. So it's quite a short bulletin.

Tuesday 24th March 2026 - Deuteronomy 22:23-24. Rich and Ally are back in Da House and today they are reporting on the most controversial thing that has ever happened regarding the BBC show The Repair Shop in which they almost repaired an old joke book with some old jokes in it, that they didn't need to read out, but which still mustn't be on TV even in closed book form. Newsround is the most unse...

23rd March 2026 - Finger Hair. Rich and Ally are back to discuss Donald Trump RTing a SNLUK sketch and get an exclusive interview with the real PM to find out if SNLUK is as funny as it used to be.

Thursday 19th March 2026 - Bigfeet. Rich and Ally are back to give you all the news the lame stream media doesn't want you to see. Today they're looking at whether the very convincing 1967 footage of a Big Foot walking through a forest is a real Big Foot or just a man dressed up as a Big Foot. With special report from a forest somewhere.

Wednesday 18th March 2026: Receding Bums. Rich and Ally are back to talk about how many times a day you should be brushing your teeth and what might happen to you if you fail to hit that number. It's more of an intervention than a news programme. Still ignored by the lamestream media.

17th March 2026 - Banksy Uncovered. Rich and Ally are here with all the big news stories and today reveal the true identity of controversial artist Banksy (can you guess what Cocky Carrot calls him?). Journalism at its finest.

Monday 16th March 2026 - Dead as a Dodo. Rich and Ally are back for another week in the Newsround studio, despite really having too much to do. They are discussing plans to resurrect the dodo. I don't have time to write the blurb as I have to take my daughter to the train station.

Friday 13th March 2026 - Faeces and Thyme (Time). Rich and Ally are back after a brief break to bring you all the Roman poop news that you could want. Plus to take the piss out of some foreign academics for their dubious career choices. It's what the public want. Also a new reporter joins the team. It's the yeast we can do for you.

Wednesday 11th March - Crossing the Rubicon. Rich and Ally are back for the shoddiest Newsround yet, as they look at the worst person in the world, a man who cloned his beloved pet. Was it a waste of money when animals reproduce for free? Should you put all your eggs in one basket? What about a ventriloquist dummy/human hybrid? It's all utter nonsense today. They can't all be gold.

Tuesday March 10th - Braintree FC Water Tank Tribute. It's a late night Newsround, cos Rich has been too busy all day to do it, but he didn't want you to miss the big news about Keith Flint's Satanic Churchyard Bench. Also some theological discussions about Satan and a nice song about starting fires.

Monday 9th March 2026 - Ayatollah Khamanei Closer. Newsround is back with nipples on and we're looking at the very serious topic of presidential assassination and whether it's the right way to go for a democratically elected president. Is taking on the leadership of Iran a good idea at this juncture and will such a young leader be able to cope with the pressure?

Friday 6th March 2026 - Worse Than Hitler. Richard uses Newsround as a forum for his petty grievances and then uses today's newsround to chat about am historical figures that younger viewers may not have heard of. Did Hitler have one ball? Did he escape his bunker to go to Argentina? Is he the oldest man in the world but unable to show off about it? All these questions will be answered by someone...

Thursday March 5th 2026 - Bad Influence. Rich and Ally are back after a brief hiatus with breaking news of a war in Iran and the one good consequence of it all. Will the show be heading to Dubai soon to make the most of the tax free status of podcasters and other shills? Only if the money is right.

Tuesday March 3rd 2026 - House of Boobs. Rich and Ally are back with all the big news. Today a regime has been toppled and a vacuum remains, but who will fill it and will it be Rich and Ally. Surely after doing so many of these, so brilliantly, it can't be long before TV comes knocking. Unless it's all part of a bigger show already. I know you know what I mean.

March 2nd 2026 - Dental Caries. In another tightly scripted Newsround we cover the big news that has broken over the weekend whilst we've been away, whether Jim Carrey is the real Jim Carrey or someone pretending to be Jim Carrey and why are they pretending and what is wrong with dim internet idiots that think anything like this could be true? I think that's all that's been happening. You'll all b...

Friday February 27th 2026 - Galton and Simpson. Rich and Ally are back for the last Newsround of February and it's a story the lame stream media won't touch, last night's by-election. Is this a vindication of Keir Starmer's right wing policies. With an exclusive interview with the current Prime Minister (at time of recording) plus in depth political analysis from Ally Sloper. This is the only inde...

February 26th 2026 - Quality Sperm. Rich and Ally are back talking about what month of the year sperm is at its friskiest. The lame stream media don't dare touch stuff like this. Unlike the scientists who put together these reports.

Wednesday 25th February 2026 - State of the Galactic Union. President Trump has done the longest State of the Union ever and Rich and Ally are here to fact check his claims. A special report suggests the whole world is in the best shape ever, which will be a great relief to us all, as long as we don't look out the window.

Tuesday 24th February 2026 - Worse Than Bin Laden. Having missed the scoop of the millennium, Newsround is back in a 30 degree studio to look at the story of the arrests of Mandleson and some other guy whose name keeps changing. With special correspondent reporting from Sandringham, waiting for a massage. Usual rubbish. Spread the word.

19th February 2026 - I'm Not Going To Take It Any More. Rich is away on holiday but Ally is here to reveal some harsh truths to his young audience. Not suitable for children, though all children should listen and rebel.

18th February 2026 - Did Craven Do It In His Pants? Rich and Ally are back with today's newsround all about dancing Chinese robots and if scientists are wasting their time. There's a special guest in to discuss this and also some upsetting stuff about Rich and Ally's past. Trigger warning for anyone who has been touched by a puppet.

Tuesday 17th February - Pikachu. Rich and Ally are back to give you all the main stories and whilst some news outlets might be giving solemn obituaries for the great Jesse Jackson, our team have uncovered news of a very expensive Pokemon card, which Rich feels might not be worth the price tag, which I think we can all agree is the story of the day. Has all his (and your) suffering for his art been...

February 16th 2026 - Area 51. Rich and Ally are back with all the news that's fit to talk about in a puppet based Newsround. Today Barack Obama has revealed that he thinks there are aliens, but have they already visited earth? And what do they look like? Is it even possible for them to get this far? With a report LIVE from Area 51 in America somewhere.

12th February 2026 - Tomato Sauce Science. Rich and Ally are back with some of your comments about the new titles. Well suck it. They discuss new evidence that suggests the Turin Shroud may not be really the shroud of Christ, for all those of you who thought this was wrapped up (no pun intended) already. Do we need evidence to believe in Jesus and isn't it more important to follow his philosophy?...