Rich and Ally's Craven Newsround

Friday 10th July 2026 - Stamford Brook. It's the last Newsround for a little while as the team head off for a much deserved holiday, but we're covering a big story - the cock infested Reading Embroidery. Should the British Museum keep it or should it be censored. Expect some strong opinions and a factually dubious song.

Wednesday 8th July 2026 - Imagine There's a Heaven. Rich and Ally are back tacking the really big news stories that others are too scared to handle. Today they report on what happens when you die and get a report direct from Heaven to see if that idea is correct.

Tuesday 7th July 2026 - Farage Above the Garage. Rich and Ally are back with breaking news about Farage's resignation and Richard's health. The badinage is strong. The news is balanced and unbiased.

Monday 6th July 2026 - Old Red Eye is Back. Rich has got out of his sick bed to bring you all the news that you won't hear on the lamestream media. Today finally Pizza Express has done an investigation to find out whether Andrew Battenberg-Cake came there in March 2001 and the results are frankly astonishing. We hear from the man himself to see where his life may go now.

Friday 3rd July 2026 - Haggy Girthday Gargara. Rich has risen like a Lazarus from his sick bed to bring you the news the lame stream media won't cover. He realises almost immediately that he's made a terrible mistake, but that doesn't stop him and Ally making a pitch to cover the next World Cup for Netflix.

Monday 29th June 2026 - Farage's Treasure. Rich and Ally are here for maybe the only time this week to discuss Farage's 5 million and the question that no one seems to ask him. The reporting remains unbiased and factual as always.

Friday 26th June 2026 - Portmanteau. Rich and Ally brave the heat to talk about the King finally coughing up some tax, for getting very little in return. God save him. Plus a visit from a former royal. Buy a t-shirt here: http://gofasterstripe.com/ally

Thursday 25th June 2026 - Too Hot To Newsround. Rich and Ally try to broadcast in this incredible heat, but they are wilting fast. At least they tried. Might have been better not to bother on this one. Buy a t-shirt here: http://gofasterstripe.com/ally

Monday 22nd June 2026 - Incurable. Rich is back after a brief hiatus to have some aborted chemo and maybe he's returned to work too soon. Or maybe it's the perfect time. The Prime Minister's resignation is high on the agenda and there are two guest politicians to talk about it. Plus an amazing wartime song to cheer your heart and help you keep up the fight. See Rich at the Ed Fringe: http://richar...

Monday 15th June 2026 - V-Maxxing. Rich and Ally are back, though for Rich, maybe not for long, as Ally blurts out what he's going through this week. Ever the pro, Rich pushes onwards despite attempts to make the whole show nothing but same phrases to discuss the controversial topic of Vagina-maxing. Is this the right medium to discuss this? Yes it is. Remember, Rich thinks whatever you think abou...

Friday 12th June 2026 - Sodomised Gargoyles. It's the last Newsround of the week and a weary Richard Herring talks us through not one, not two, but three big news stories, travelling the world from Russia/Ukraine to Spain and then right out into outer space and unknowable time. You don't get that on the grown-up news.

Thursday 11th June 2026 - Blue Anchor. Rich and Ally are a bit put out to find out they are not the most popular thing in the show, but they plough on regardless, looking into the case of the mysterious cider drinking mannequin in Minehead. What really happened? The lamestream media won't tell you, but we will.

Wednesday 10th June 2026 - Scooby DUMB. Rich is a bit less tired than yesterday, but still quite tired and he can't believe that he is having his childhood destroyed. Just leave things the way they are. When they were good. When I was young. Plus big news about Prince Harry.

Tuesday 9th June 2026 - Milked in a Basement. Rich has been too busy or tired to do Newsround for a few days and to be honest probably should have given it a miss today. But news doesn't wait for someone to be in the mood to tell you what the news is and luckily one person on this show can enunciate. The boys are talking about creating sperm in a lab and what that might mean for humanity. It's an...

Thursday June 4th 2026 - Yvonne Boolabong. Ally tries his hand at some ventriloquism in this last episode of the week, due to a rare performance commitment, but eventually there is some bloody news and it's all about the return of an unpopular, unfunny 1990s comedy figure. Surely Richard isn't so self-obsessed to make all this about him? Come and see him live (while you still can): https://richard...

Tuesday June 2nd 2026 - Question Time. Rich and Ally cover another story that the elitist BBC wouldn't cover, what are the unanswered questions in the Mandelson Files? And how many are there? There are more questions than answers, but not if you include wrong answers.

Thursday 28th May 2026 - Badly Burnt Penis. Rich and Ally are back from their holidays with all the news that the mainstream media won't touch. Because they won't touch penises. Is that all we do on this? Finally the truth about the people of Harpenden, plus touching up the Cerne Abbas Giant's private areas. It's absolutely pathetic.

Friday 22nd May 2026 - Unflammable. Rich and Ally are back, but there's some bad blood between them. Can't everyone just think of Rich's wider career? They are talking about the eternal flame, not of gonorrhoea this time, but in a Buddhist Temple in Japan and why it might be a bad idea to house that in a place made of wood.

Thursday 21st May 2026 - Foot in Mouth. Rich and Ally are back and looking at the STI figures in the EU and how best to sexily open a condom. Before falling out quite badly. Could this be the end of the partnership?

Wednesday 20th May 2026 - Spygate. Rich is back in more cheerful mood and there's finally been a major development in his puppetry skills. But how many cocaines has he taken? And is his real viewership waiting for him, ungestated, in the future? Today the boys discuss football like a pair of right lads, plus how to be like Rich.

Tuesday 19th May 2026 - Scott Baio's Tapestry. Rich and Ally are back with news of a very important study on the Bayeaux Tapestry, but then have to stop as Rich has to go to a parent teacher thing at his kids' school. Never happened to John Craven. That's why it's under 5 minutes today though.

Friday May 12th 2026 - The Gig Gokker. Rich and Ally are back for the last Newsround of the week and it's all about Riches and riches. Not a single song, so nothing to annoy anyone. I am sure everything is fine.

Wednesday 13th May 2026 - King's Peach. Rich and Ally have news about dogs being kicked in the head and PM's being kicked in the balls. With an exclusive interview with the next PM?? You don't get this on the lame-stream news.

Tuesday 12th May 2026 - Llama Farmer. Rich and Ally are back to get to the bottom of whether the Prime Minister will stay on and whether he is a damp rag or something else all together.