Retro Fanfic Retrospective

For our one-year anniversary, we indulge our theater-loving, literature nerd selves and dive into absurdism. Could Tom Stoppard’s renowned play actually be… fanfiction? Yes, obviously it is, but we discuss all the angles of that question before meandering through the text of the play in search of direction or meaning. It is an acceptable diversion on the road to our inevitable, incomprehensible de...

Susan Pensevie and Sarah Williams become friends in a fanfic that has difficulty living up to the awesomeness of its premise. Sarah decides she’s in love with some creepy dude who hit on her back when she was fifteen. As your personal savior, Aslan will definitely set you up on dates. Susan regains her faith through the power of mansplaining.    Link to the story: bit.ly/rfreyes   Three friends re...

Our first Fan-Q Award winner, from fandom stalwart Deb Walsh. Could it be that Fox Mulder’s sister… was abducted by aliens, exactly as it appeared that she was? The only way to be sure is to return to Mulder’s home island of Martha’s Vinyard, eat chicken pot pie, and forensically analyse an extremely grody old pillowcase.   Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrmelody   Three friends read old fanfiction th...

A glasses switcheroo leads into a time-travelling adventure that aims to explain various oddities of the Smurfs setting. We go off on tangents musing about Smurf spores and whether the entire population of Smurf village are Squibs. The author wins a bet against their sibling, thus averting the Great Smurf Wars.   Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrglasses   Three friends read old fanfiction that they th...

Urusei Yatsura turns into deadly serious political intrigue in this novel from the dawn of the internet age. Tory is surprised to learn that the source material does not address Lum’s culpability as an imperialist, enslaving warmonger. Everyone gets a heterosexual romantic partner, up to and including Megane. The answer to the question of the title is “no.”   Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrdream   T...

We return to Sailor Moon with a fanfic based on Sailor Stars, the most high school shenanigan-y season of the show. Minako and Yaten are a miracle romance, as in it’s a miracle that Yaten puts up with the company of any other sentient being. Shakespeare is quoted liberally. Usagi and Seiya explain to their friends what a donut is.   Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrminako   Three friends read old fanf...

Despite harrowing technical difficulties, MSTing archivist Yesmar joins us to discuss Adam Cadre’s treatment of Jim Theis’s infamously blundering Conan pastiche. “Crimson droplets of escaping life fluid” flow freely. Wenches are an excellent source of exposition. The riffer’s major challenge is choosing what NOT to make fun of.   Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrargon Don't forget to check out The MST...

Special guest Rosie helps us illuminate the darkness of the early 2000s Kingdom Hearts fandom. Riku is really into Sora, I mean seriously. Cid is British… ish. A cute moogle helps counterbalance the moody teenage angst. . Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrhearts   Next episode: MSK - The Eye of Argon bitly/rfrargon   Three friends read old fanfiction that they think might be good. Sometimes they are ri...

A zany space adventure featuring Han Solo and his best bud/co-pilot… no, not Chewie, I obviously mean the irrepressible Herlivon Xalnodest. In trying to carry a rancor to Tatooine, which will become more wasted: the interior of the Millenium Falcon, or our protagonists, from all the space booze they're drinking?   Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrrancor   Three friends read old fanfiction that they th...

Early 20th-century author Maurice Leblanc breaks several rules of good taste by putting his own character Arsène Lupin up against another author’s cash cow. Who will win? Who will lose? Whose name will be forced to change for proprietary reasons?   Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrholmes   Check out our website at bit.ly/retrofanfic Send us emails at RetroFanficRetrospective@gmail.com Visit us on Face...

In this classic fan novel, Buffy is brought back to life in a vampire-infested post-apocalyptic dystopia, with significantly fewer musical numbers than in canon. Slayers avoid the inverse ninja rule. The only thing that hasn’t changed in 350 years is sexual tension.   Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrphoenix   Three friends read old fanfiction that they think might be good. Sometimes they are right. S...

Special guest Gaelan returns to watch a defining piece of comedy from the 2000s anime convention circuit, and try to find things to say about it. I guess pimps as a concept were funny back then or something? On the other hand, personal intro music will be funny forever.   Link to the video: bit.ly/rfrredeath   Three friends read old fanfiction that they think might be good. Sometimes they are righ...

Actual Harry Potter fan Emily joins us poseurs to discuss a breezy fanfic filled with fantastic creatures that Hagrid finds boring. Harry is officially dangerous. Hermione is a savant of bureaucracy. Hogwarts’ teaching staff have dubious teaching qualifications and minimal oversight.   Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrharmless   Check out our website at bit.ly/retrofanfic Send us emails at RetroFanfic...

Special guest Taran returns to help us navigate Ganondorf’s anti-imperialist manifesto. Ganon, the Hylians, and the Goddesses are all assholes, but at least the Oracles are cool people I guess. Problems are resolved by hacking at them with a sword. To everyone’s relief, author Uncle Pervy fails to live up to his name.  Links to the stories: bit.ly/rfrreflections and bit.ly/rfrreflections2 Three fr...

If Xena is a professional computer nerd in modern day Miami, is it still a Xena fanfic? We struggle with the fundamental assumptions of our show while waiting to see if anybody gets decapitated by a Chakram. Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrstorm Three friends read old fanfiction that they think might be good. Sometimes they are right. Sometimes they are not.   Check out our website at bit.ly/retrofan...

We all get deja vu as special guest CJ returns to discuss a father/daughter story by Fernwithy. In stark defiance of the entropic principle, people sail to the East FROM Valinor. Hobbit ages are confusing. Merry is the kind of friend who will call you out on your shit. Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrjewel   Three friends read old fanfiction that they think might be good. Sometimes they are right. So...

Back in the day, Daria fans didn't have enough Daria, so they had to make their own Daria. Special guest Serena fills in for the still-traveling Dom to discuss the first two episodes of a classic fan-written season. Glasses and whether to wear them are a very big deal. Daria's one (1) cool relative comes to the fore. Tory does an unprecedented amount of preparation. Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrwi...

Special guest Joel joins us to discuss this immediate sequel to The Robots of Dawn that features even more frank discussion of sex with robots. We figure that Isaac Asimov would probably be cool with that. Beverly Cleary, however, would disapprove of this whole enterprise. Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrcfe Three friends read old fanfiction that they think might be good. Sometimes they are right. So...

In Trunks's post-apocalyptic future, Androids are like cockroaches - you just can't get rid of them for good. We discuss how the position of God is outsourced to foreign labor, and Tory tries to convince us that the muscles in Dragonball are really metaphorical, to limited success. The amount of fan Japanese almost does us all in, but we try to gaman . Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrsuperz Three fri...

Special guest CJ returns to sample a bit of Cat Tales, a sprawling fanwork that manages to win us over despite none of us having any investment whatsoever in Catwoman and Batman making out. Alfred is the best human being. We avoid making any DuckTales jokes until the very end. Be proud of us. Link to the fanfic: bit.ly/rfrcattales Three friends read old fanfiction that they think might be good. So...

Amado is away this week, but special guest Chris joins Dom and Tory to complain that their assigned Digimon fanfiction doesn't have enough Digimon in it. They struggle to stay on-topic, just like the DigiDestined's endless fight to keep Daemon contained. Takato makes poor life choices. Everyone is fictional to each other and it's just as confusing to them as it is to us. Three friends read old fan...

On this early April episode of Cutting Edge Fanfic Deep-cut, we discuss a brand new fanfic just like we always do. Steven is going through that time of life when you start to grow very quickly, turn pink, and generally start to look like your mom. For some reason he finds this distressing. Three friends read old fanfiction that they think might be good. Sometimes they are right. Sometimes they are...

Ryouga wanders into the Muppet Show and ends up hogging the spotlight. He doesn’t like it at first, but eventually stop swineing. The rest of the Muppets ham it up at usual. We agree that the fanfic isn’t a boar. Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrmuppets Three friends read old fanfiction that they think might be good. Sometimes they are right. Sometimes they are not. Check out our website at bit.ly/ret...

Back in 1997, a bunch of fans got together and attempted to write a better third season than the Goliath Chronicles. Apparently this is not a high bar. Special guest CJ joins us in our exploration of the first few episodes, and to discuss how great a villain Demona is. Three friends read old fanfiction that they think might be good. Sometimes they are right. Sometimes they are not. Check out our w...

Taran the Human joins us remotely to talk about the history of Mobius and its royal family, and also some blue hedgehog who runs fast or whatever. Antoine's knowledge of heraldry becomes plot relevant. Bunnie learns the secret of fighting SWATbots. We are caught off-guard by the truly offensive twist ending. Link to the story: bit.ly/rfrbloodlines Three friends read old fanfiction that they think...