Relationship Advice

This episode explores the nuanced question of how much we should share about our intimate relationships with others, highlighting the spectrum between healthy connection and potential boundary violations. The hosts reflect on personal experiences and therapeutic insights to unpack the motivations behind sharing—such as co-regulation, validation, or humor—and examine how factors like upbringing, cu...

In this episode, the hosts unpack the complicated process of knowing when it's time to leave a relationship, highlighting the emotional risks, attachment patterns, and fears of regret that often make the decision so difficult. They emphasize that while love and good qualities may exist, non-negotiable differences, broken trust, or persistent disconnection can signal it's time to move on. The episo...

In this episode, the hosts illustrate how noticing when you need a break during conflict is essential for maintaining emotional regulation and protecting connection. They highlight how pushing through conflict without pausing can lead to emotional collapse or blow-ups, and how a break should be intentional, involving both calming the body and organizing thoughts before reengaging. The episode emph...

When emotional growth happens at different paces in a relationship, it can create disconnection and frustration. This episode explores how partners can navigate this dynamic by cultivating curiosity, avoiding shame-based interpretations, and validating the complexity of individual growth paths. Rather than rushing to conclusions or trying to control the other, the hosts encourage compassion, open...

Explore the common relational challenge of mismatched sex drives in partnerships, emphasizing that differences in sexual desire are normal and often rooted in individual biology, life stage, or emotional dynamics. Rather than seeking a “right” or “normal” amount of sex, the hosts encourage couples to approach the topic with curiosity, vulnerability, and a willingness to understand one another’s ne...

In this episode, the hosts explore the emotional complexity of being vulnerable in relationships and not receiving the supportive response we hope for. When partners often respond in protective ways—like shutting down or snapping back—can feel frustrating and disheartening—especially when you’re trying to be vulnerable and connect. Understanding what’s happening under the surface of that defensive...

The concept of "letting people feel their feelings" may be confusing to some, however in this episode, Colter, Cayla and Lauren emphasize the importance of allowing others to experience emotions like anger, disappointment, or frustration without trying to fix, dismiss, or control them. Listen to unpack the internal discomfort that often drives our impulse to manage others’ emotions, which can stem...

This episode of the Relationship Advice podcast explores the value of creating a Non-Negotiables List to establish clear boundaries and expectations in relationships. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren discuss how striking the right balance—neither too rigid nor too lenient—can lead to healthier connections in both dating and marriage. They also offer practical strategies for crafting a personalized list t...

What’s the difference between curiosity and questioning in relationships? Learn about the importance of approaching emotional challenges with openness rather than interrogation. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren share their personal journey into couples therapy, attachment theory, and the development of resources to help individuals heal from anxious attachment.  In this episode, they talk about topics su...

Joined by special guest, Julie Menanno, our hosts sit down to discuss how to heal insecure attachment by focusing on self-awareness, emotional regulation, and developing a secure relationship with oneself. She emphasizes that attachment wounds manifest through self-abandonment, which leads to unhealthy relational patterns. Healing involves learning to sit with and process difficult emotions rather...

Explore the tension between personal experience and factual correctness in relationships, particularly in boundary-setting and decision-making. The hosts discuss how relying too heavily on logic and research to "win" arguments can create gridlock and emotional disconnection, emphasizing the importance of curiosity, empathy, and slowing down difficult conversations. They demonstrate how shifting fr...

This episode explores the importance of rituals in relationships, emphasizing how they create trust, connection, and predictability between partners. Whether it is daily acts, like greeting each other after work or having a bedtime routine, or larger, less frequent traditions, like weekly date nights, annual celebrations, or even rituals for personal space. Without these conversations, there an be...

A negative couples cycle is a recurring pattern of interaction in which partners react to each other’s protective moves, escalating conflict rather than addressing the underlying emotions. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren illustrate how miscommunication and emotional defenses—such as criticism, defensiveness, or withdrawal—reinforce each other in a self-perpetuating loop. By identifying these cycles and...

Today Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive into the “taboo” topic of sex, offering advice on when to say yes and when to say no. This episode explores how partners can navigate differences in sexual desire by recognizing how things like stress, emotional connection, and personal preferences impact intimacy and why a simple "yes" or "no" isn’t always the best response.  In the episode, we touch on topics...

Today Colter, Lauren and Cayla dive into boundaries, emphasizing their importance in maintaining personal energy, trust, and healthy relationships. The hosts delve into the pitfalls of rigid or non-existent boundaries, offering strategies to navigate requests thoughtfully while prioritizing individual values and needs. By sharing real-life examples, they highlight how to say "yes," "no," or propos...

We hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them! In this episode we discuss: The protective moves that pursuers gravitate towards How pursuers handle conflic...

We hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them! In this episode, we discuss: The protective moves that withdrawers gravitate towards How withdrawers handle...

In this episode Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive through what it means to be relational over being right. We've heard it said before that you can be right or you can be in a relationship. Which is so hard when you like being right as much as we all do! We also dig through how we get so focused on the content of the conversation but how the process is really what is important.  In the episode, we tou...

In today's episode Colter, Lauren and Cayla explore the relationship between emotional needs and actionable requests in the context of individuation. They discuss how recognizing individual differences and pairing emotional needs with specific requests can enhance communication and connection in relationships. The episode highlights practical strategies for navigating common relational challenges,...

In this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter Bloxom, Lauren Mokarry, and Cayla Bozovich explore the concept of the "Window of Tolerance," a framework developed by Dr. Dan Siegel. They discuss its importance in maintaining emotional regulation and improving relationships. The hosts delve into how understanding this concept can help navigate stress, build resilience, and foster healthier interpers...

On this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren sit down with the long-running Relationship Advice podcast host Chase Kosterlitz as he reflects on ten years of hosting, sharing key lessons/insights about relationships and emphasizing the importance of friendships and somatic practices for personal growth and relational well-being. In this episode we discuss topics that include: Chase's Reflections on H...

This episode introduces the foundations of a healthy relationship through four key pillars. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren use relatable examples, such as navigating differing preferences in dance lessons or understanding the dynamic between pursuers and withdrawers, to illustrate these concepts. They emphasize the importance of shared language, emotional safety, and empathy in building deeper connecti...

In this episode we sit down with licensed therapists and our incoming Relationship Advice hosts Colter, Cayla, and Lauren to talk about the "protective moves," or behaviors people exhibit during conflict to shield themselves emotionally or regain a sense of control in relationships. These 3 are experienced therapists specializing in attachment, trauma, and anxiety, explore how these moves—like def...

Today's episode is a real treat as I have a wide ranging conversation with Diego Perez, aka, Yung Pueblo. Listen to today's show for valuable insights and tools to improve your life and relationships today.  In this episode with Diego Perez we discuss relationship advice topics that include: What to do if you feel your partner is not self aware The importance of being loosely attached to your view...

The pursuit of happiness is one of the most talked about topics in the self-help world and life in general. What does it mean to be happy? Perhaps the pursuit of happiness is actually just a myth and what we really want to be looking for is joy and contentment. Listen to today's show for important questions to ask yourself and tools to discover what real happiness means.  In this episode with Shaw...