Regular Features

Santa's royally cocked up this year and forgot to deliver these three extra special feature presents straight to your audio stockings.

Matt and Log and Steve reminisce about the better days of Final Fantasy, get stuck in a leisure centre, and find clues in a go-go-dancer's dick, because obviously.

MERRY KRANGLEMAS AND GOOD WILLIES TO ALL MEN AND ALL WOMEN TOO SURE WHY NOT. The boys return to the Canal Cafe Theatre for another live Christmas special, full of delights and surprises and delights. Appearing in podcast feeds soon soon soon!

Three men. Three eggs. Three sexual organs in desperate need of release. Two of your ears listening to all of what that entails. There's one bit where Steve ACTUALLY goes and ACTUALLY does a white wee-wee into an ovoid ovum. We are progressive and we will not be censored.

We recorded this one much later than we usually do. Do you think it's better or worse? It doesn't matter either way because it's happened now, so....

In this episode of the Regular Features podcast, Log and Steve are joined by Sarah Morgan, who is a woman, a fact that did not escape us as we neglect all other aspects of her being to interminably explore her frankly extraordinary gender. Steve goes to Brussels to sort everything out using pedestals. Log buys a house. And you? You come to our Christmas Live Show, please! December 5th, 19:30, Cana...

We got a man in Japan and a man on the streets of the US of A to try and make some sense of this crazy world.

This podcast was recorded the night BEFORE the US election, so you can listen to it and go back to a time before the world turned to darkness and ash.

You've just downloaded an audio recording of a man gifting masturbatory eggs to his friends in a busy pub in London, you absolute deviant. I'm calling the actual police.

Joe started out trying to make the podcast better, then just invented a better podcast. Steve and Log feel events from their lives have been stolen by Black Mirror, which is *just the kind of thing* that would happen in Black Mirror if you just STOPPED to THINK for a SECOND you total SEXMANIAC. Log retaliates. You want live shows? We got those flooding out of parts of us. Please come to the next o...

Steve heroically soils himself on public transport in a graceful act of raw and empowering incontinence. Matt's been crawling around in the mud with the mussels, if that's where mussels live. And Log, well boy oh boy, he certainly did sit there are contribute in droves. We hope you enjoy. We have two live shows! Please come to the next one in November by visiting regularfeatur.es It will be fun we...

Hey! It's a lovely live show from four men who really should know better.

Can you believe we haven't been nominated for a Games Media Award this year? Us, the BEST VIDEO GAMES PODCAST IN THE WORLD.

Gav continues along his downward spiral, a sad mess of quiche and violence that can never be stopped. Please come to a live show and help him. regularfeatur.es

Yeah, you read that correctly. What a fuckin pisstake.

Team Features is in rude health this week, by which we mean we went into a hospital and trumped on all the coma patients. Steve invents a solution for sex in the 22nd century, Joe releases the health records of the US presidential candidates, and Log presents his pilot's license or a pilot season or something. I can't remember. Come to our live shows! regularfeatur.es

This was recorded live at the Canal Cafe Theatre where unfortunately technical issues meant the recording got ruined so the only one we've got is this shonky version. This should serve as a reminder that our live shows are best experienced LIVE. Be a part of the next three by purchasing a ticket from here: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event? EventId=33507

Some like it hot, but I don't know who those people are and I don't much care for them. In this episode Steve dodges leprosy but crashes into a woman with his bike, Joe sidesteps civil behaviour and invades a woman's privacy on a train, and Log sheds his corporeal form to become a legally immortal company that, if he's anything like everybody else in this episode, also contributes somehow to the s...

We recorded this podcast in a boiling hot room and I think it shows.

What if the Gaviscon man met the Bonjela man inside of a mouth? What if Log had a list of lies he's made up about how the new banknotes work? Stop wondering what the answers are, we've got them for you right here and it will be way more disappointing that anything your brilliant brain could instantly think up. Oh and we've got live shows coming up, we would like to meet you there, oh yes: https://...

Someone needs to stop him!

Joe and Steve start a feature war! Well, it's more like feature ping pong but we won't tell anyone if you don't!

Always with our fingers on the pulsing muscle of popular culture, this week we imploded into a zeitgeist heavy podcast which suspiciously features every single thing you've seen on top of the BBC news site in the last 7 days. Hmmmmm.

We celebrated Episode 200 with lots of booze and personal space invading. Also, we did a live show and this is THAT. It got pretty weird and wild so if there's anything you don't understand either ask an adult to explain it to you or watch the video version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwHlrnVVoEM

It is one whole episode before a one with lots of zeroes in, so hoik up your britches and wade on in to taste the tang, captain. This episode of the Regular Features podcast has Steve talking about space, and Log talking about what if what you would do if given the choice to wank off a lovely big penis or don't. God bless you.