Regular Features

A Christmas Live Show! (Video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hTZIstky2s ) Steve revisits The House of Kramble, Log takes a journalistic deep-dive into the shadowy world of Bingo, Matt sings a lovely Christmas song, and Santana returns with the spirit of festive cheer, which he illegally stole from a nursing home in Stoke.

2 boys, 5 features, no borders, one love, 99 luftballons. CHRISTMAS LIVE SHOW! 11th DECEMBER! BUY! https://canalcafetheatre.com/event? EventId=33507

Hey grumblecakes, why you lookin' so down? Perhaps you'd like to drape this hot towel of a podcast over your face and allow our comedy steam to open your audience pores? Yeah, you'd like that wouldn't you. You'd like the evaporating fun to cool your listener skin, and create a pleasant sensation known only as THE NICE TIMES. Steve is back from Galapagos, Log is Royal Marriage Mad, and Gavin spoke...

Travel back to 2002 for a song lyric examination, then back to 2017 for some bang up-to-date film reviews, and then to the FUTURE OF MUSHROOMS. Whew, you must be exhausted! Why not kick back and relax by paying us money to watch us do a CHRISTMAS LIVE SHOW on the 11th December: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event? EventId=33507

Steve cruelly turned down a job as Gav and Joe's Associate Hot Ass Provider - but we've headhunted a new candidate with the hottest ass in Nottingham. Will he make the grade??? Our next live show is a Christmas Special, and it is extra special because we forgot to book the theatre, so it's on the SECOND Monday of the month - December 11th. Please come: https://canalcafetheatre.com/

We're sorry it's late, it's just that we're absolute idiots. SPOOKS! CUBAN DANCE RHYTHMS! SHOE FETISHISM! SWAN MURDER! REGULAR FEATURES? REGULAR FEATURES.

Whoa nelly! That's a big pumpkin. What is it, full of SOULS? That's just the kind of exciting garbage you can expect on this, a thrilling 2nd November special. You think the No Sleep podcast is good? *waits for response* Well they're a paper boat baby, and we just jumped into the pond, screaming and farting. Let's listen to this!

A prodigal Joe gives everyone a strange Japanese potion, which sends the podcast freewheeling into a debilitating, but entirely legal, erotic reverie. There's a feature about Gremlins and another about Nixon doing a crime with a space shuttle, but both are overshadowed by a pervading and all-consuming sense of engorgement. We're so sorry. A live show you say? November 6th - www.canalcafetheatre.co...

Steve holds fort as Gav rides around Italy on a mean old hog and Log dispenses Nottingham-wisdom, an oxymoron if ever there was one, am I right *opens Google Maps*... SHEFFIELD? Come to our next live show! www.canalcafetheatre.com

Is this the end of Quantick Meridian?! Where are the Chilean miners now?! Does Gav finally get the twatting he deserves?! Find out the answers to these questions and more in this week's episode. Come watch us do this nonsense live on November: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event? EventId=33507

Gav, Joe, Log and Steve perform exactly 11 features. Sound impossible? Shut up, you don't know ANYTHING. Can you even imagine what it must be like to be in that crowd? If not, you should buy a ticket to our November 6th show huh huh? https://canalcafetheatre.com/event? EventId=33507

Have you ever noticed how much 'Mogg' sounds like 'Log'? And how both of them *kinda* sounds like cob? Good, innit? Come see our live show on Monday the 2nd: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event? EventId=33507

This is what happens when Joe n Gav sit too close to each other for 13 hours every day. Luckily, Matt was on hand with an actual feature about some space gun game. Come see us LIVE on the 2nd of October: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event? EventId=33507

Joe takes us on a journey of TFL joy, Technology Journalist Steven Hogarty explains the hot new features on the iPhone X, and Kenrod Basillica interviews the latest musicians on the musician scene.

- Steve: Read parental pornography - Joe: Lied about Bake Off - Matt: Plagiarised Sliders - Log: Attacked an allergic man with Nutella The charges were all dropped. Nice picture by @GaryDooton. GO AWAY.

On this week's episode, Gav reveals some American football naughtiness while Steve n Log get all hot n bothered by the continuing adventures of Quantick Meridian. If you fancy coming to see our live show on September 4th: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event? EventId=33507

Log n Steve bring the funnies while Joe n Gav kidnap their colleague Alanah who celebrated her birthday with the boys in an abattoir. You can follow Alanah here: https://twitter.com/Charalanahzard Get yourself a ticket to the next live show on September 4th: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event? EventId=33507

Log embarks on a multi-part science-fiction feature-epic, the future of which lies in your hands. Steve imagines a world in which Godzilla's big ol' dong has a happy holiday, and Matt wonders what it might be like if will.i.am were a penguin. Can you even imagine? No need! We imagined for you. Please come to our next live show! www.canalcafetheatre.com

LIVE SHOW: Joe does a Doctor Who thing because he has ulterior motives, Steve reads Wikipedia, Matt is furious about a man who had a gun, Log brings Nick Clegg back into relevance, and Gav continues to use the podcast as a means of advertising his frequently hairless arsehole.

Joe deleted the real podcast this week, so Gav went full Judge John Deed on his lilywhite ass. Meanwhile, Log bought a dog with his mum. Watch us live at your earliest convenience. We're playing at the Canal Cafe Theatre on Monday 7th August. Tickets here: https://canalcafetheatre.com/

Matt goes to France, gets sexy with cavemen, and eats pubes, I think. Gav enthralls canaries and writes totally original music. Log represents billions of men by hating this one woman. Imagine seeing all of that shite, but in real life??? YOU CAN! BUY NOW! https://canalcafetheatre.com/event? EventId=33507

We've gone cat crazy in this, the episode of Regular Features that features precisely one feature about cats. This week, Steve reviews several cats from a documentary he watched while cradled in the arms of fellow film critic and large-bladdered silver fox Mark Kermode. And Matt takes us all on the speed chase of a lifetime. You have to listen to believe it. Please come to our next live show, whic...

250 episodes and we still haven't found a feature worth repeating. There's only one thing for it...to carry on our brave search for ANOTHER 250 EPISODES!! (but we're definitely stopping after that) Grab yourself a ticket for our next live show on August the 7th at the Canal Cafe Theatre: https://canalcafetheatre.com/event? EventId=33507

Steve thought he was heading to Gav and Joe's office for a simple Regular Features goodtime recording party sesh. Little did he know that he would soon be amidst the most grueling, invasive job interview of his absolutely tiny life, and might be dead before it was all over. Also, I think we miscounted how many episodes we had to go before the big 250 live show, so just shut up about it.

Gav is in Kenya. No one knows why. Honestly it probably doesn't even matter.