REFS NEED LOVE TOO

Send us Fan Mail The World Cup can make even experienced fans feel like the rules changed overnight. Players stay on their feet more, restarts happen faster, and referees seem more willing to let contact go without losing control. That’s not an accident, and I wanted a real expert to explain what’s happening and why it matters. I’m joined by Alan Kelly, a former FIFA referee and the Director of Se...

Send us Fan Mail The World Cup is almost here, and my life is about to get loud in the best way: I’m heading to seven matches with FIFA and TikTok as a Creator Correspondent, with access that changes what I can share and where I can share it. That excitement is real, but so is the deeper reason I care about this tournament. When the US Men’s National Team takes the field, you see a diverse group t...

Send us Fan Mail College soccer is about to change in ways that will hit everyone on match day: referees, coaches, players, and the people in the stands wondering why the game has stopped again. After sharing a personal weekend at the brand-new U.S. Soccer National Training Center, including the eye-opening mechanics of officiating deaf and power wheelchair matches, we bring on one of the best voi...

Send us Fan Mail The strangest part about refereeing is that everyone sees you, but almost nobody knows you. This week David was a guest on the "For Ref's Sake" podcast.  We talk about how I went from a grassroots soccer referee turned global creator during the COVID era, which sparked a community where referees, coaches, players, and parents can finally talk about the game like hum...

Send us Fan Mail The fastest way to lose a new referee is to certify them online and then throw them into the deep end on a busy weekend. We start with a few big updates from my world, including our first Dr. Tom Gerson Pops Memorial Scholarships for referees and why telling those stories every year matters to me and my family. Then I’m joined by Carlos Ledesma, a Northern California assigner, dir...

Send us Fan Mail A single referee mistake can hijack your confidence for days, especially when it happens in a high school playoff match with a crowd watching. I share a raw update on a procedural error I had to admit publicly, including the moment I took a go-ahead goal off the board and how heavy that felt after the final whistle. If you’ve ever walked to your car replaying one decision on repea...

Send us Fan Mail A playoff match can feel perfect for 50 minutes and then unravel in 10 seconds. That’s what happened to me in Georgia, and I’m not proud of it. I’m sharing the full, raw story of a high school postseason game where I made a procedural mistake on a restart, saw the consequences hit the scoreboard, and then had to make the hardest choice a referee can make in public: admit it and fi...

Send us Fan Mail The hardest part of picking up a whistle as an adult isn’t learning the signals, it’s walking onto the field while everyone assumes you’ve done this forever. Holly Jimenez knows that feeling firsthand. She starts refereeing at 42, feels the nerves at U9 games, makes the kind of mistakes that haunt you on the drive home, and still keeps showing up until her experience builds and th...

Send us Fan Mail The fastest way to level up as a soccer referee is not learning one more obscure law, it is learning how to handle people when the match te. I’m joined by Jan Aravitra, a former FIFA international referee from Finland with nearly two decades at the top level, including UEFA competitions and World Cup qualifiers. We get into the behind-the-scenes reality of working with different c...

Send us Fan Mail A soldier-turned-official sets a six-year goal to reach the Premier League—and makes it! Then he does an even rarer thing: he stays for over 15 years! We sit down with Scott Ledger, a 500+ appearance Premier League Assistant Referee and FA Cup Final appointee, to unpack the craft behind elite officiating—how preparation, humility, and sharp eyes under pressure create credibility w...

Send us Fan Mail Abusive sidelines don’t fix bad calls—and they’re driving referees out of the game. We sat down with U.S. Soccer’s Vice President of Referees, Kari Seitz, to break down how “Respect the Call” and Policy 531-9 are changing that story with clear standards, real accountability, and education designed for today’s crews. We start with the foundation: knowing the difference between a ra...

Send us Fan Mail Ever wonder what “clear and obvious” actually means when the stakes are high and the clock is running? We bring you a rare, candid look inside MLS video review with Greg Barkey, the head of VAR at PRO. Greg shares how the system was built in the United States—from early scrimmages with eight cameras at a local park to the first monitor review at Red Bull Arena—and why the guiding...

Send us Fan Mail Ever wonder what a referee actually says to defuse tenssions—or how it feels to make a split-second call with no assistants and 22 players demanding an answer? We sit down with Eric Edge, the former semi-pro goalkeeper behind the viral channel Behind The Whistle, to unpack the real craft of Sunday League officiating: honesty that cools tempers, foul selection that protects the gam...

Send us Fan Mail This week, we have a true full-circle moment on the show. After listening to our recent episode with Kevin Klinger on referee mindset, Regional Referee Alex Perez sent in an incredible email about how he immediately applied those lessons during a grueling college showcase weekend. We were so moved by his story—and how he turned a potential on-field disaster into a success—that we...

Send us Fan Mail Pressure doesn’t just come from the scoreboard—it lives in your head and your chest when the crowd roars and a coach questions your integrity. We sit down with Kevin Klinger, Director of Referee Education and Development at U.S. Officials and founder of Officials Mental Edge, to break down the mental skills that separate solid refs from truly elite officials. Kevin brings a rare d...

Send us Fan Mail A year can include joy and pain without destroying you. In 2025, I said goodbye to my dad—the person I called on every big news story, new tech breakthrough, or small family win—and then rebuilt my life in a way he’d love to hear about. That mix of grief and momentum shaped everything: how I left about work, how I re-built my career, and how I chose where to invest my energy. The...

Send us Fan Mail Ever tried to judge a play from six feet off the ground with bodies flying past and zero replays? That’s where referees live, and it’s nothing like the view from the stands. We sit down with RefReps CEO Kyle Armstrong to explore how first‑person video, multi‑angle breakdowns, and short, high‑impact modules are rebuilding the referee pipeline and reshaping sports culture from the g...

Send us Fan Mail Big games don’t get easier; you get better at carrying them. Ahead of my first State Cup final, I open up about nerves, preparation, and the quiet work that turns pressure into focus: fitness tuned for late sprints, gear and crew checks that prevent chaos, and a five-minute reset that keeps me in the match instead of in my head. The heart of the story is confidence earned over 1,5...

Send us Fan Mail We sat down with Daneen Gonçalves, founder and chief visionary officer of The Referee Advocates, to unpack a simple idea with massive impact: treat referees like an integral and supported part of your club, build clear development pathways and watch the entire matchday experience improve. Danine brings decades as a player, coach, official and leadership professional, and she’s usi...

Send us Fan Mail Tired of holding your flag up for Offside, while the whole sideline screams “REF!”? We go straight at the problem and bring on engineer and referee Sam Rall, the creator of RareBit Offcial buzzer flags. He shows how a simple haptic signal can transform crew communication, reduce chaos, and keep matches flowing.  David opens with the bigger picture—why innovation in referee educati...

Send us Fan Mail The whistle isn’t the hard part. It’s the noise around it—sidelines boiling over, subtle bias that undermines authority, and those early games where one bad interaction can end a career before it starts. We sit down with rising official Mia Clark to talk about staying in the game, building real confidence, and why supporting women on the whistle changes everything. Mia traces her...

Send us Fan Mail Grief has a way of focusing the lens on what actually matters: how someone lived, how they treated those who couldn't fight back, and what they stood for even when it was unpopular. My dad never reffed, but he taught me everything about making life’s hardest decisions—kindness first, integrity always, and the courage to do the hard right thing when it counts. We trace a life...

Send us Fan Mail Landing my dream job as Director of Referee Programming and Development at SoCal Soccer League marks the culmination of a four-year journey that began when I started the Refs Need Love Too channel as a joke in 2021. What started as an escape from corporate burnout has transformed into a full-time opportunity to improve referee development across the largest soccer league in Americ...

Send us Fan Mail What does it take to officiate at the highest level of world soccer? Matthew Conger, who refereed at both the 2018 and 2022 FIFA World Cups, pulls back the curtain on the journey from grassroots to elite officiating in this fascinating conversation. Growing up as a goalkeeper in Georgia before eventually representing New Zealand on the international stage, Conger's unique pat...

Send us Fan Mail What if the secret to transforming youth soccer wasn't silencing parents, but engaging them properly? In this eye-opening conversation, Skye Eddy, founder of SoccerParenting.com and "The Sideline Project" challenges the conventional wisdom about "crazy soccer parents" and reveals a path forward that benefits everyone in the youth sports ecosystem. The narr...