REFS NEED LOVE TOO

Send us Fan Mail What separates great referees from good ones isn't just knowledge of the laws—it's emotional intelligence. This deeply personal episode explores the challenging balance of life as a sports official while introducing a powerful mental framework called the  "Let Them" theory from Mel Robbins." We begin with an intimate look at the struggle to balance a deman...

Send us Fan Mail Ever wonder why soccer fields seem to ignite emotions like few other places? In this eye-opening conversation, Dr. Ryan Martin – known as the Anger Professor – reveals the perfect psychological storm that makes pitches emotional pressure cookers. Dr. Martin challenges our fundamental understanding of anger, explaining it's not inherently negative but rather a signal of percei...

Send us Fan Mail Soccer's law book undergoes a mini-revolution with the 2025-2026 Laws of the Game, and referee Leland Grant, National Referee Coach and Umpiro founder, breaks down the four most significant changes poised to transform how matches unfold across all levels of play. The first major change introduces a powerful new tool for match officials: the captain-only zone. When surrounded...

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Send us Fan Mail Ever wonder how to stay passionate while juggling multiple demanding roles? This candid episode dives into the reality of balancing life as a referee, business professional, content creator, and parent during an especially hectic season. David shares his journey through a particularly intense period—working full-time in sales and marketing for Hip Hues, running Refs Need Love Too,...

Send us Fan Mail Ever wondered what it takes to officiate at the collegiate level? John Collins, the National Coordinator of Men's and Women's Soccer Officials for the NCAA, pulls back the curtain on a world that represents both challenge and opportunity for advancing referees. With college soccer now boasting the largest officiating pool in NCAA sports—over 5,380 registered officials—Co...

Send us Fan Mail What does it take to excel as a defender when you don't fit the physical prototype? Michael Parkhurst, who captained Atlanta United to their 2018 MLS Cup victory, reveals how his mind became his greatest strength on the soccer pitch. "My brain was my biggest asset," Parkhurst explains, detailing how he compensated for lacking the traditional center back qualities of...

Send us Fan Mail Have you ever wondered how the best soccer referees reach the pinnacle of their profession? For national referee Bowen Taylor, the answer lies in stepping out of your comfort zone and traveling to officiate matches across the country. At just 25 years old, Bowen has already achieved what many referees dream of – earning his national badge and working professional matches in league...

Send us Fan Mail The soccer referee uniform has become an unexpected battleground where tradition, practicality, and safety collide. Drawing from over 11 years and 1,300 matches of experience, I share my frustration with the often unreasonable uniform standards imposed on grassroots referees that sometimes compromise their health and wellbeing. Despite US Soccer officially approving hats as part o...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when we normalize abuse toward the most vulnerable members of our sports community? David Gerson, host of Refs Need Love Too, joins attorney Ben Glass on the Renegade Lawyer podcast to tackle one of youth sports' most pervasive problems—referee abuse and its devastating impact on officiating retention. This raw, revealing conversation explores the alarming statis...

Send us Fan Mail What does it really take to officiate at soccer's highest levels while maintaining a corporate career? Pro assistant referee Melissa Gonzalez pulls back the curtain on the demanding reality behind the flags and whistles. "The perception is this is my full-time job, but it's not," Gonzalez reveals, describing her meticulous scheduling between IT project manageme...

Send us Fan Mail Join us for a captivating conversation with Ismail Elfath, a FIFA International Referee who has officiated matches on the world stage. Throughout the episode, Ismail outlines the critical skills of game management and the significance of body language and authority in establishing respect from players. He shares personal stories and advice that showcase what it means to be not jus...

Send us Fan Mail Kari Seitz, one of the most distinguished figures in soccer officiating, unravels the secrets of her trailblazing career in our latest episode. As the Vice President of Referees for US Soccer and the former FIFA head of refereeing for women, Kari's insights are a treasure trove for anyone passionate about the beautiful game. With her unparalleled experience at four World Cups...

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Send us Fan Mail Michael Oliver's controversial red card decision during the Arsenal vs. Wolves match has ignited debates far beyond the pitch, demanding a closer look at the high-stakes world of refereeing. Join us as we unpack the intense scrutiny faced by officials in the English Premier League, emphasizing the importance of empathy and understanding for their challenging roles. We also di...

Send us Fan Mail What constitutes abuse in the realm of US Soccer? Join us for a deep dive into the pressing issue of referee abuse with Brian Barlow, the force behind the Offside page on Facebook, as we navigate the new policy spearheaded by Kari Seitz, VP of Referees for US Soccer. With a focus on clarifying and categorizing abusive behavior, the policy aims to establish a uniform approach acros...

Send us Fan Mail Step into the intricate world of sports officiating with seasoned litigation and trial attorney Andres Vidaldez, who brings a dual perspective as both a legal expert and a referee. Discover the unique intersection of law and sports as Andres shares insights into the complex legal landscape referees must navigate. Learn about the critical importance of understanding contracts and l...

Send us Fan Mail Uncover the inspiring journey of Megan Richardson, a standout referee from Georgia who has shattered barriers and set new standards in the world of female refereeing. Recognized as the Female Youth Referee of the Year multiple times, Megan opens up about the less obvious challenges she overcomes on the pitch, beyond the commonplace chauvinism. From navigating life changes to mento...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when you walk away from a secure corporate job to pursue your passion for running a small business, refereeing and mentorship? Join me, David Gerson, as I recount the exhilarating journey from the office to the field, where the thrill of officiating high-stakes matches like the Georgia State Cup semi-finals and finals became my new reality. Through this transition, I...

Send us Fan Mail Ever wondered what it's like to transition from the adrenaline rush of being an elite player to the disciplined world of professional refereeing? Join me as I talk to the trailblazing Amy Barrett - Theron, South Africa's pioneering international rugby referee. Together, we explore her groundbreaking journey as the first South African woman to officiate in esteemed compet...

Send us Fan Mail IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: This podcast is not intended or should be taken as tax advice. Consult with a tax professional to help you with your own specific tax situation.  Robin Ruegg, a USA Brevet rating gymnastics judge with over 40 years of experience, joins us to unravel the fascinating world of gymnastics officiating. Robin shares her journey from a gymnast at the University of M...

Send us Fan Mail I had the pleasure of being a guest on the High Kicks Podcast. The discussion was fun and informative. I had a blast talking about what I love about being a ref and the challenges of being an official in the beautiful game.  The episode ventures into the world of professional refereeing, where the pressure is immense and errors are an inevitable part of the job. We offered a compe...

Send us Fan Mail Jan Ter Hamsel, the creator behind the influential Dutch Referee Blog (dutchreferee.com & @dutchreferee on Instagram), offers a unique look into the life and development of soccer referees around the globe. Join us as Jan shares the inspiration behind his blog, which has grown into an educational hub for referees seeking both personal and professional growth. He contrasts the...

Send us Fan Mail Are you ready to conquer the challenges of refereeing in cold weather conditions? Discover why I, David Gerson, prefer the chill to the sweltering heat and hear all about my top tips for staying warm on the pitch. Learn how you can maintain your professionalism while keeping comfortable, with insights into acceptable cold weather gear for referees and grassroots officials. We’ll e...

Send us Fan Mail Ever found yourself in the middle of a soccer match, caught between the roar of the crowd and the whistle in your hand? Join me, David Gerson, as I recount the highs and lows of grassroots refereeing, sharing my first-hand experiences on the pitch. Starting with the sweet taste of success in a seamless match, we quickly progress to the chaos of an intense game where a tactical fou...