Redemptive Living Radio

At last, here is the final installment of our interview with Jordan and Kate Jones (aka Part 3).  This is also the end of Season #8. Thank you for being with us!    Jordan shares something very profound at the top of the episode and we roll  from there.  We talk character change, perspective shift in what Jordan cared most about, and Jordan's wholesale surrender.  We also talk about Kate's six mon...

Here is Part 2 of our interview with Jordan and Kate.  We talk about hiding, lying, addiction, compromises, alcohol, ADD, and relapses.  Thank you again to Kate and Jordan for sharing their story with us and for being so vulnerable with what they shared.  We will see you next week for Part 3 of Kate and Jordan's story, which coincides with the end of Season #8. We are so glad YOU are here. Thanks...

We are ending Season #8 of RL Radio with an interview with one of the amazing couples on our team - Kate and Jordan Jones.  This will be at least a three-part series where Kate and Jordan share their story.  SO many insights, so many things to learn from them. We are grateful for their vulnerability and humility in sharing about the choices made, the pain experienced, and the unknowns ahead of the...

In this episode, we continue unpacking our discussion about what to do when HE thinks her anger is too much.     To start with, we talk about how, from a Biblical perspective, we are taught NOT to get angry -  see James 1:19  for an example. Most women we work with struggle to get angry. Therefore, our starting point with women is that her anger is NOT too much.  AND - there are times when the exp...

In this episode, we wanted to address some feedback we have received, specifically with episodes #106 and #107 on Blocks to Anger Parts 1 and 2.  In those two episodes, we wanted to really encourage women to find their anger.  What can be helpful is when we  NAME the blocks to anger and then bust through them. The feedback we received is that we fell short by not addressing when her anger is actua...

In this episode, we talk about the practices that help us stay safe, avoid going too far off course, and ultimately navigate grief and pain. Jason, rightfully so, struggles with using the word anchor (he suggests we use the word buoy), and while I hear him, an anchor certainly doesn't help us literally keep our heads above water, I love what an anchor DOES do.   Here is an excerpt from a book that...

In this episode, a continuation of episode #113, Jason shares about what it looked like for him to "not take from me" (from a needs perspective) as well as a rubric he used to help keep him focused on what mattered most when I wasn't able or willing to meet his needs. We banter back and forth about staying up late talking recovery (Jason clearly thinks we stayed up until the wee hours of the morni...

Bear with us through the first six minutes of this episode - not sure exactly what kind of point we are making as we talk, but also wasn't sure how to trim it out and for the rest to make sense, so I left it as is.   Oftentimes in early and mid-recovery, husbands try to find comfort (of some kind) in her, whether via physical touch, words of affirmation, words of validation, physical proximity, ti...

In this episode, we discuss how to engage empathetically when she is hurting.  The key is:  he HAS to integrate empathy in the day-to-day.    Jason unpacks three principles to help men be more empathetic with her:   Principle #1 - He can't turn on empathy in the hard moments alone. Instead, it's developing the character trait of empathy:  being loving, tender, compassionate as a way of life.   Pri...

In this episode, we talk about important questions women ask in the latter part of mid-recovery, while healing from sexual betrayal.  Keep in mind in the latter part of mid-recovery (mouth. ful.) for women, there is a lot of internal processing going on - rhetorical questions, existential questions, continued how and why questions pertaining to grief.   Here is what the podcast listener asked (sam...

Valentine's Day can be a tender holiday for most women working to heal from sexual betrayal, namely, a painful reminder of what she doesn't have. In this episode, we discuss how to navigate this loaded holiday well, no matter where you are on the healing journey.   What I would love for all women to do is reframe the holiday as an opportunity for her to truly take up her space, practice using her...

Hey Guys!   Thanks for joining us today on Redemptive Living Radio, where we talk about healing from intimate betrayal relationally, as well as for women who have to make the choice to heal without him by her side (whether because he won't do the work or because she is done).   In this episode, we discuss a listener question rooted in a comment Jason often makes: "I'm one bad decision away…".  Her...

Welcome to Part Two of Blocks to Anger!   In part 2 of the episode, we discuss the benefits of anger for both him and her, the root of anger, how to get angry, and the fear of getting stuck in anger.   We jump right in and talk about some of the reasons Anger is so important - not just for HER to express but also for HIM to experience FROM her. If you don't listen to anything else, please listen f...

In this two-part episode series, we are talking about her anger and grief. We start by putting a name to some of the common things that cause her anger and grief to be blocked.   1 - Him doing good quantitative but not so great quantitative work. (Add to this the external validation he might be receiving, which further blocks her from tapping into her anger.) 2 - Childhood vows and how anger was m...

Hey Guys! In this episode, we dive into another listener question (or rather, a series of questions) pertaining to him comparing and criticizing her in his addiction (and oftentimes, well after the addiction has stopped).  We have a more casual conversation about this, so if you like structure, check out the show notes below for some scaffolding.  This is such a GREAT question, and as you will see...

In this episode, we talk about something that is fairly common yet rarely discussed:  when he uses her as a part of his addiction.  I'm listening to the episode right now (as I type the show notes), and I am on edge.  It's an important conversation and also hard to have.  Thanks for being brave and joining us for this episode. I start by sharing how important it is for there to be sexual separatio...

Hey Guys! In this episode, we talk about preliminary boundaries.  I mentioned at the beginning of the episode that most women know boundaries are an essential part of the process and are interested in learning how to set solid boundaries.  However, fully internalizing (or embodying) boundaries takes time to engage and implement.  This is where preliminary boundaries come into play. So let's dig in...

Welcome back to RL Radio!     In this episode, we talk about a wife's request that he never notice another woman.  While this request might seem impossible for him to carry out, keep in mind that it's a deeper need beneath the one she is expressing.  Jason also comments that oftentimes a rhetorical question (from her) points to a statement of grief.  The question is giving expression to something...

Welcome to episode #101 of RL Radio!   I don't know about you, but it is SO cool being in the hundreds, and we are so glad to have you all here with us!   In this episode, we discuss why women ask for details in recovery.  Women often get a bad rap for asking for more information; even well-meaning supporters and counselors try to convince her that she doesn't need to know everything, thinking thi...

Welcome to episode #100 of RL Radio and part 2 of the Building Blocks of Intimacy! We are so excited to reach this milestone with you guys. If you liked seeing the video version of our podcast last week, you can watch this week's video in the Worthy of Her Trust Academy Public Content section (see link below) or on our YouTube Channel. Okay, so we are in part two of our deep dive into the building...

Welcome to Season #8 of RL Radio! We are excited to connect with you guys, laugh a little, and also partner with you as you move forward with healing. This season, we decided to start recording podcasts as videos (in addition to the podcast). In that vein, we wanted to record in our sitting nook off our kitchen - and did for a handful of episodes for this season, including this two-part series. As...

The 90/10 principle simply means that 90% of the work of  relational rebuilding  is a husband's responsibility post betrayal (+ 100% of a husband's personal work). That 90% means going first, leading the process, holding the weight of the brokenness in the relationship, engaging, initiating, following through, amending, living forgivable and working on being trustworthy.    The 10% that is a wife'...

As I listen to the first part of this episode, I am so thankful we aren't where we were five months ago with our little puppy.  I will say - we are still considering getting rid of him because while he is much easier for us than he was five months ago, he is still a LOT.  I was giggling with how I was pronouncing words like diarrhea and nope.  Don't mind me!   In this episode, we wanted to talk ab...