Redemptive Living Radio

We are back with part 2 of the lying episode. We jump in to talking about what helped Jason stop lying: #1 - Brute force effort to be honest as well as brute force effort to fight the addictive voice inside of him. (Jason said he would argue internally with the man he was fighting to become versus the old, addictive self pulling him back.) #2 - He came to a place of determination that he could han...

We are starting to come to the final bend in the road for Season #7, before we take a break. In this episode - we talk about lying - something that comes up a lot with the gals I connect with on Instagram as well as one of the things that was posted more than once in the question box on IG when I asked for podcast suggestions.   What I always say is: women are willing to do the excruciating work o...

Hey Guys - We are so grateful for Emma's willingness to share her story.  This is part 2. SO much richness in this episode - from Thomas's brokenness and guttural crying to Emma's vulnerability to the 2nd disclosure and Emma's awareness of having to move the wall around her heart accordingly.  To Thomas's ultimate willingness and of course - as mentioned in the last show notes:  Emma's fortitude a...

We are thrilled to have Emma Berry with us on the podcast today!  Emma shares her side of the story with us both this week and next and we are so grateful she was willing to walk us through the ups and downs of her process with her husband, Thomas.  (See links below for Thomas's side of the story, from several seasons back.) Ladies - what I want you to be listening for is the fortitude Emma shows...

On this episode, we wanted to unpack what it looks like for men to do recovery out of the wounds (versus living recovery and not making everything about the wounds). Jason starts with explaining a bit more as to what he means by this: in the addiction (or integrity issue) - men are operating out of the wounds. In other words - the acting out mitigates the pain of the wounds. The same can happen in...

On the heels of talking about some of the markers that may point toward him not living with integrity (while in recovery) - we wanted to talk about three things that show sure signs of progress: The easiest one to see with our eyes is:  humility.  This can look like fast acknowledgements and apologies for doing something wrong as well as fast acknowledgment of continued hurtful habits. Bonus:  mov...

In this episode, we are talking about signs that he may be acting out.  I have a lot of women that wonder (post discovery) - how will I know if he is acting out?  What if I miss the signs?  This episode is for you - AND - we have one bit of caution:  we are NOT trying to insert unnecessary doubt into your mind.  What we share here are potential indicators.  A collection of things that we have seen...

We go back to a listener question, this one from IG where a woman asked:  how do I stay with dignity when the acting out was so extensive.  I'll be honest - as I listen to this episode, I think there is SO much more we could have shared and we didn't.  I'm making the choice to push it out but read these show notes for some of my additional thoughts that weren't included in the audio.   Where my mi...

Hi y'all, you get the B team for the show notes on this episode! Jason here, trying to take up the slack, so these notes will be from my perspective not Shelley's this time. Listener Question #1 : How do I help my wife be close to me again? With this question, we first have to remember that she may not be ready to be close again. If that's the case, our efforts to draw her close will feel manipula...

In light of some of the episodes we have produced this season - the deeper pain points, the why work episodes - there is a looming question I have wanted to address with Jason, on behalf of all women.  And here is the question:   Why did you marry me? And what makes me think you want to be with me today? Maybe better put - convince me that you want to be with me.  And in all fairness - she also ha...

In this episode, we talk about the interplay between the "why" work and the "what now" work.  The why work is heavy in the beginning of the process, and continues to "hum" in the background - but the "what now" begins to take more and more precedence, or at least that is what we hope for. This wasn't said in the episode but I want to say - I think the why work oftentimes takes a lot of intentional...

In today's episode - I wanted to talk to Jason about his needs and her needs in the recovery process in a more informal way (as in - we didn't do a ton of prep work before hitting the record button).   I started off by sharing that I believe her needs are more important in the recovery process due to the covenant bond being broken (so in other words - one of the natural consequences of the sin of...

This week we are talking resentment, iced tea, hand towels and dealing with Shelley's mic situation.  I promise that is going to go away in future episodes - I didn't realize that I am touching the mic so much!!!   I didn't realize until about a year ago that resentment is a HUGE part of what he struggles with and has to untangle in his recovery process.  Specifically resentment toward her.  Liter...

In this episode we are continuing to talk about his "why".  It will be helpful for you to understand the four different categories that we are talking about as you listen to this episode and download the pdf which will be in the podcast freebie email (see link below).  Here are the four categories that go into the why:   Life Situations or Contextual Realities - noteworthy life events from your li...

Alright everyone - here we go - we are officially jumping into Season #7 and we aren't turning back.  We are SO excited to be with you guys - and we are hoping we can be here for a while - we will see how long we can last!   We are going to be talking about "Why" work in this episode as well as the next one.  This episode is more so laying the foundation for episode #83 where we unpack the roadmap...

Welcome to the official first episode of Season #7! In this episode we wanted to talk to all of you about how to handle the deeper pain points (of hers) that feel like they will never ever go away. How can he help her handle those deeper pain points and how can she handle those deeper pain points.   Jason's tips for husbands:     First - we can't judge and don't have a right to judge how deep the...

Hey Guys!  We wanted to re-release an episode from the past pertaining to navigating the holidays well.  The holidays can be really challenging - no matter what - and then throw in Family Systems (see below) + recovery and it's a LOT.  The happy holidays can feel like the not so happy holidays. The back drop of this conversation we are having is rooted in Family Systems Theory by Murray Bowen.  Bo...

We are so excited to get this season going and before we really get going in January - we wanted to release a couple of episodes this month and then come January, we will be back with all sorts of content.  Here is what we have planned thus far:   Interviews with some of the amazing folks from our team, the 90/10 rule, trusting ourselves post-betrayal, personal recovery isn't the same thing as rel...

So here we are!  The final episode of Season #6. We start with me needing to loop back to something we discussed in the last episode where Jason said he received feedback from someone saying that sometimes when Jason mentions the past / the timeline, that he is shaming me.  While I don't think he is trying to shame me - I DO experience shame when certain parts of our story is mentioned.  I wanted...

In this episode - we talk about how he can hold her hostage in the recovery process.  We discuss this concept, of him holding her hostage, two different ways (or avenues or angles or well, you get the point).   The first avenue is how Jason interprets "holding her hostage" which essentially is him holding her hostage for his past wounds and holding her accountable and responsible to heal his past...

It's just me today, popping in to let you know we will be back next week with a fresh episode. I am sharing the quickest of life updates with you guys plus a reminder about a couple of resources that we offer. We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us for Season #6. For those of you that are new here, check out  Episode #1 for Our Story . Make sure you download the Podcast Freebies! You c...

As we dig into the content of this particular episode - please keep in mind that these situations are SO nuanced.  So please take what we are sharing and consider how it applies to you.  What we share will not work for everyone in every situation.   #1 - Clearly End the Affair -    Our first suggestion for regaining confidence and to be able to go back out into the community with your head high is...

As Jason said early on in this episode - recovery work is painful.  It hurts, it's scary and no wonder we resist it.  Jason talks about how he went from resisting the recovery work to accepting that there was work to do.  It's in this process that we make friends with the work.  As Thomas Berry, a coach on our team, says - we go from "got to TO get to". How we make friends with the work:  1 - When...

Basically, I try to take over during the first five minutes of the episode as I talk about hope.  Then I pass the mic over to Jason and you will probably actually like what he says much more.  I just try to sprinkle in anecdotal comments as I can, you're welcome. Hope is a handhold for wives in the following ways… 1 - it gives women a sense of security in the middle of what is a very chaotic exper...

Get out your thinking caps - this episode is heady and I had to rewind many many times to re-listen while I was working on these show notes.  We are talking empathy (and intimacy and conviction) today.  I believe that empathy is one of the key ingredients that will help her heart heal within the context of the couple-ship.  So developing empathy is KEY. We talk neuroanatomy:  prefrontal cortex, mi...