RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Betrayal Recovery, Porn Addiction Recovery, Relationships, Infidelity

In this episode, Kylene and Patrick explore five essential things a betrayed partner needs from their spouse in order to truly heal. They unpack each element with depth and honesty, including: Taking full responsibility without minimizing or making excuses Creating safety—especially by addressing power dynamics and physical presence Making her feel seen, chosen, and prioritized Recovering for your...

In this short episode. Patrick reflects on his divorce, and parenting through that time. He shares his perspective and lived experience of divorce after infidelity, and starting over with almost nothing while also realizing that it was the healthiest choice in his particular circumstances.   If you would like to listen to the previous episode that we refer to around children and divorce you can go...

Today, Kylene walks through what steps can help us navigate triggers and calm ruminating thoughts after betrayal. She discusses:   1. Why safety is the foundation that has to be laid first  and what that looks and feels like 2. How subconscious processing is what really moves the needle when we have sticky triggers 3. The importance of identifying core wounds to really resolve the root of the recu...

In today's episode, Carly and Kylene are discussing things to consider when navigating betrayal, reconciliation, divorce and children. We understand that this is a complex conversation and this episode is not saying there is one right or wrong answer - rather, we are sharing some thoughts and perspectives that we hope may be helpful.   They discuss Carly's personal experience and thoughts around h...

In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss what ingredients are involved in a healthy marriage. These include:    Liking each other as friends  Emotional support for each other Playing on the same team Being willing to apologize and take responsibility for your own behavior Freedom and safety in every aspect of the relationship   After betrayal and through addiction recovery, couples have a re...

In today's episode Kylene and Patrick walk through 5 practical and actionable steps to consider after discovery. What actually helps create stability when you're just beginning your recovery journey?   Here are 5 steps to consider: Sleeping in separate spaces to give yourself the opportunity to reset and recover Setting boundaries around communication Getting connected to practitioners specializin...

This week Kylene and Patrick discuss 3 mindsets that will set you up for success in recovery and how those impact the betrayed partner and the addict in their journeys.   I am more than my circumstances Healing is possible for everyone, but requires change and change is uncomfortable  There is something better that is available to me     If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with...

In today’s episode, Jackie Newman shares about the journal/workbook she co-authored called Unapologetically You.    Unapologetically You is your personal companion on a transformative journey towards inner peace, emotional healing, and self-awareness. This journal offers a collection of guided prompts, exercises, and reflective spaces to help you reconnect with your true self, heal old wounds, and...

Today’s episode is a speech that Kylene was asked to present about overcoming adversity. She shares some of her own story as well as 3 keys she notices helps her and others move through painful experiences: Value, Clarity and Courage —> Knowing who you are, getting clarity on the future, and having courage to take steps towards it.   She shares these 5 truths: You are not responsible for the be...

In todays episode, Patrick shares his thoughts on 3 important principles for a sex addict to remember in recovery: It takes time - don’t expect your betrayed partner to recover from discovery quickly. There are many factors that play into their ability to heal and everyone’s relationship and trauma level is different. Healing and relational reconciliation is a lifelong commitment. Demonstrate cons...

Sometimes divorce isn’t just admissible, it’s beneficial. When a relationship hinders one or both parties from moving forward in health, divorce may be the best choice.   Kylene and Patrick know that there are many reasons that a couple may struggle with this decision including faith based guilt, internalized people pleasing, financial reasons, children etc… This is an nuanced conversation, and on...

In this episode, Patrick explores the critical role that habits, routines, and daily discipline play in deep, lasting recovery. He emphasizes the value of fully engaging with all the tools and resources available in whatever recovery plan or program you're following. Patrick also shares insights on the power of journaling and the importance of being intentional when replacing old, unhealthy patter...

Both the addict in recovery and the betrayed partner may struggle with self confidence, self worth, or both. But are they different?    In this episode, Kylene and Patrick unpack the differences between self-confidence and self-worth, sharing how each has wrestled with these issues in their own lives—Kylene with low self-confidence and Patrick with low self-worth.    They explore how these struggl...

In this weeks episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss how patterns of thinking and behavior like: compartmentalization, the ability to feel deeply, and being someone who’s able to take action and get things done, can be great strengths in recovery, but those same strengths can also be our weaknesses in a different scenario.   They discuss how understanding our wounds, identifying the filters we view l...

Meet Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith. In today’s episode, they share their personal story recovering from sex addiction and betrayal trauma. They share the ups and downs of their recovery and the process of healing they have found to be successful not only for themselves but for hundreds of other couples pursuing reconciliation as well.   Find their book Building True Intimacy here:  https://a.co/d/d...

In today's episode, Kylene walks through the 5 phases of recovery, common things you may feel or experience in these phases, and how to know if you are moving through them into the next phase. She offers some questions to consider and steps to take in order to continue moving forward in your healing process.   WELCOME to the new RecoverU facebook group - if you are a betrayed partner please join u...

Show notes: In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick talk about shame, how it hinders recovery and wreaks havoc in relationships, and how you can begin to move through it to release it as part of your recovery journey.      Interested in joining us for Sexual Integrity 101? Register with the link below! Have more questions? Reach out to  PatrickATerhune@gmail.com  and we would love to answer them :)...

In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss 3 pieces of advice that are helpful in theory but not in practice when it comes to marriage and reconciliation.   They share how: Don't control your partner Marriage is hard Divorce is not an option ...are often shared with well meaning intent but can actually cause harm and dysfunction in relationships when understood in certain ways.   Interested in...

In today's episode, Kylene shares how recovery has helped her step into her voice again, culminating in a successful concert where Patrick even sang a duet! They share how sticking through recovery during the hard times really allowed them to feel so safe, happy and relaxed together in a way that years ago would have felt impossible.   Enjoy bits of the concert here: https://www.youtube.com/playli...

In today's episode, Kylene answers questions submitted by betrayed partners including - how do you deal with the pain of an affair and what happens if he says he loves you, but isn't "in love" with you?   She answers these questions in a very broad perspective but encourages each individual to work with a practitioner 1:1 so that your individual pain points and relational nuance can be taken into...

In this episode, Kylene and Patrick talk about the reality of stress, how it can impact your body after betrayal, and how stress won't go away after recovery! They share some personal experiences as well as three things you can do today to help you deal with every stressors:  Stay connected in community, determine next steps, and prioritize self care.   If you are a betrayed partner and would like...

In today's episode, Casey shares his personal story navigating pornography addiction, how technology played a significant role in his exposure and development of addiction, and throughout hte episode we discuss several things we can do as a society and as parents to support our children in living porn free lives.   Resources:   Gabb Phones -  www. GABB.com Needed Navigation (book) -  https://a.co/...

In today's episode we answer questions ranging from how we met to how we navigate conflict, and how we help each other through tough times. We have included the questions with a link below in case you would like to use them in a conversation with your partner!    Questions in today's episode:  https://tinyurl.com/9kjca7m9   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:...

It’s always easier to identify negative patterns in someone else. In today’s episode, Kylene shares four common patterns that can show up in both the addicted partner and the betrayed partner — but in different ways: Qualifying and Comparing Using Absolutes like “Always” and “Never” Looking Outward Instead of Inward Dehumanizing Thoughts or Behaviors While these patterns may show up very different...

In today's episode, Patrick shares four ways a recovering addict can show up for their betrayed partner while demonstrating consistency, sincerity and healing: Make an effort to understand Focus on your own healing  Practice your responses Don't seek her external validation We often mention the "Help Her Heal" workbook and encourage you to utilize the exercises within the book while personalizing...