RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Betrayal Recovery, Porn Addiction Recovery, Relationships, Infidelity

Erin Stretar (pronounced Streeter) shares three powerful tools she recommends to all her clients navigating betrayal recovery in this week’s RecoverU episode. Discover how journaling, self-soothing techniques, and building a strong support system can empower your healing journey. Erin provides practical tips and real-life applications you can start using today! Learn more about her work and connec...

In this episode, Kylene and Patrick walk through how to use a polygraph (lie detector test) as part of recovery, reconciliation and trust building after betrayal and discovery.   Some questions they answer are: Why use a polygraph? How to find a polygrapher What to look for in a polygrapher- interview questions to consider  Best practices for creating questions to be asked on the polygraph If you...

Congratulations to Patrick on 4 years in recovery! I'm so proud of you. In this episode, Kylene briefly shares what it feels like to be hitting the 4 year mark of recovery together, and why the intense and purposeful effort they made has truly been worth it.   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connec...

Divorce feels similar to being widowed. You've lost your partner, you've lost the life and the future you thought you had, and you experience a significant amount of grief.   Divorce after betrayal can feel isolating and overwhelming. This is why Kim Hansen Petroni has written her workbook: "Not a Casserole Widow" to provide education and cultivate self confidence in betrayed spouses pursuing divo...

Life can be stressful on its own, but navigating recovery after addiction and betrayal adds layers of tension, overwhelming emotions, and uncertainty. In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick explore how the fruits of the Spirit can serve as a powerful self-reflection tool to guide growth and healing in your recovery journey. By focusing on cultivating love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,...

Is there a difference between sobriety and recovery? Is recovery just a longer version of sobriety?   In this episode of RecoverU Kylene and Patrick share their perspective on the differences between sobriety and recovery and the type of actions and behaviors it takes to move into a life of recovery, and ultimately freedom, after a life of sex or porn addiction!     Please fill out this (short!) f...

Feeling stuck and not sure how to move forward?    In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss choosing who you want to be so you don’t stay stuck in 2025.   They provide five practical tips and actionable resources to help you align with your values and vision for the future. Their approach emphasizes digging deeper than surface-level goals, empowering you to define your identity and who you w...

Do you feel discouraged in your recovery journey? We encourage you to take some time to reflect on the past year. Often, when we feel stuck or frustrated, if we compare where we are today to where we were 6 months ago, or a year ago, we have a better perspective of how far we've truly come!  the end of the year offers us a natural point to review what we have accomplished in the past year while al...

Do you and your partner feel LESS connected when things get busy? Do you notice that you have less time for each other and fewer conversations? Communication is a top priority during recovery and we want to encourage you to prioritize it MORE when you're busy, tired or stressed instead of less. When we get busy and communicate less, it becomes a breeding ground for disconnection as we try to proce...

Are you a people pleaser? Saying NO is hard, and we can feel extra pressure around the holidays.   In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick offer 3, succinct and specific ways to politely decline invitations if you need some extra down time for recovery.   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection c...

Discovery is one of the most stressful experiences for both the sex/porn addict and the betrayed partner. Stress takes a significant toll on the body in this episode Kylene breaks down how stress impacts the body and 3 specific pillars of support we can bring in to support our mental and physical health through recovery. Kylene has some links below with recommended supplements to consider * Please...

Are you a betrayed partner who has asked the question - how could my husband engage in such hurtful behaviors and still love me? If so, you're not alone! In this episode Kylene and Patrick talk about how this questions is really a form of communicating the pain that has been caused, the feelings of insecurity, the fear of comparison, and the reiteration of negative self beliefs for the partner. Th...

Are you stuck in an anxiety loop after betrayal? If so, you are NOT alone. Anxiety is one of the primary emotions that surface after discovering your husband is a sex or porn addict.   Not sure if you feel anxious? In this episode Kylene and Patrick break down some signs and symptoms of anxiety, why safety is important, and how we can support our healing.   If you are a betrayed partner and would...

My husband CHEATED - so it's ok to be angry right? I'm so ANGRY and I just can't get over it. I will never get over it. I'm not allowed to be angry - it's a sin.   Anger is a natural emotion and an important feeling to be respected and acknowledged. However, when left unchecked it can turn into bitterness and it can begin to take control of your life as it not only hurts the person your anger is d...

I can do this on my own! They hurt me, therefore I can hurt them. Porn isn't infidelity!  In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick address these 3 lies. Both recovering addicts and betrayed partners can get caught up in these beliefs and it can dramatically impact long term healing. Let's shift these beliefs together to find deep, long lasting freedom. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to...

Are you a recovering sex/porn addict who is frustrated that your spouse still has questions about your previous behavior? Or maybe you are a betrayed spouse who has brought up a trigger only to be replied to with "when will you get over this? Why is this still coming up for you?" All couples navigating recovery long for the day when they will never think about it ever again. Unfortunately, that's...

How can I connect more deeply with my partner - especially after betrayal? Communication is the foundation for life long intimacy and growth with your partner. AND it happens to be one of the top struggles most couples have. In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick suggest 4 questions to discuss with your partner to open conversation and to connect more deeply and give examples as they personally an...

INTIMACY? or sex? Are they the same? How can you reconnect intimately with your partner if they have hurt you in the past? For many partners, true intimacy (into -me-you-see) is first established through the recovery journey as they learn new skills for communication, trust, empathy and connection together. Intimacy requires safety and sex addiction is an intimacy disorder - so how in the world do...

What is empathy? At its core, it's the ability to understand someone else's experience and perspective. When a couple chooses to stay together, empathy is a critical skill for both individuals to learn. YES it's learnable! We must practice things that don't come naturally before they become second nature. In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss what empathy is, why is important fro the reco...

Betrayal HURTS and it feels overwhelming. Today, Kylene answers some of the most common questions a betrayed partner may have after discovering that her husband is a sex or porn addict. Questions like: Is it possible to heal and if so, HOW? What does the process of reconciliation look like? How long does recovery take? Can I speed it up? What do I do about triggers?   If you are a betrayed partner...

Forgiveness after betrayal? What keeps us stuck from moving forward with forgiveness? In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick define forgiveness, discuss different types of forgiveness, and what might keep us stuck from moving forward with forgiveness.  Is it always appropriate to forgive? Or is there a right time? Do I always have to tell the person who hurt me that I forgive them? Join us in toda...

Is it possible for GOOD to come from all the pain of sex addiction and betrayal trauma?    Nick and Michelle Stumbo are examples of how good CAN come from the pain we have experienced. A former pastor and now head of Pure Desire ministries, Nick shares his personal story of transformation along with his wife Michelle who talks about what it was like being married to a pastor and feeling like she h...

How do we navigate conversations about sex with our children?  Whether you are a couple going through recovery after betrayal and sex addiction, or you are just parents trying to raise healthy kids, healthy sexuality is something they should learn about from you. But it's often a very uncomfortable topic for many of us and we just don't know how to bring it up in safe and healthy ways. Rodney and...

What does it feel like to discover your husband is a sex/porn addict without any warning? How do you navigate those first few months?   In today's episode, Patrick asks Kylene questions about her experience including: What was going through your head the first 2 weeks after discovery? What seemed to help the first few weeks/months? What behaviors from (Patrick) did you find helpful? What gave you...

Can a spouse recovery from betrayal? Can an addict recovery? Can we actually live healthy lives? These are some of the questions Kylene's client Katherine* experienced after discovering her husband was hiding a secret sex addiction. After doing some of their own work and then coming to Kylene for continued healing work, Katherine is here today to share their story of redemption and healing. Their...