RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Betrayal Recovery, Porn Addiction Recovery, Relationships, Infidelity

In today's episode we discuss the initial steps a betrayed partner can take to create stability and begin the first steps of recovery.    We discuss why locking everything down can be helpful, and why it's important to connect with others whether it's friends or professionals to support you through your healing journey.   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1...

Today’s episode kicks off our 3-part “Now What?!” series, starting with the addict: You’ve been discovered. You’ve been found out. Now what do you do? In this episode, we walk through tangible first steps—who to connect with, how to begin your sobriety journey, and why facing the hard things head-on is essential for long-term healing and health. We also explore early relational dynamics. If you’re...

In today's episode, Patrick and Kylene share why creating a vision is so important, offering some examples of how that helped them in their recovery journey as well as offering you reflections and questions to ask yourself as you begin creating your own life vision.   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a fre...

Merry Christmas all! We are so thankful for each and everyone one of you and wish you a joyous holiday season filled with love, laughter and peace.   In today's episode, we kept it brief, sharing some unexpected and positive outcomes of recovery that we never expected. We hope this offers some encouragement as you continue on your own journeys.   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to con...

Creating new, positive habits is a key piece of successful recovery. In today's episode, Patrick shares thoughts on the importance of consistency as well as sharing tools,resources and tips on how to stay consistent through the inevitable ups and downs of life.   Resources mentioned in this episode: Daily Tools for Sobriety Series - RecoverU episodes 67-71 Customizable Productivity Planner ( what...

In this week's episode, Kylene is discussing what are some signs that you are in a safe and healthy relationship? She shares conversations that exemplify safety, as well as offering examples from her relationship with Patrick.   If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call:  https://p.bttr.to/3t...

A podcast listener asked Kylene to share more on the challenge of feeling compared to other women and the feeling of not being chosen after betrayal.    Kylene shares her personal story and methods she used to move towards a place of feeling chosen both by herself and by Patrick.   She shares: She first had to choose herself  How she utilized tools like therapy, EMDR and subconscious reprogramming...

In today's episode, Kylene speaks with Ron Rhea about his book, "The Grounded Liberation Method". They walk through his 10 root method, discussing why mindfulness and connection are important and the gifts that facing your emotions and shadows can offer in life.   Grounded Liberation Book:  https://books.by/ron-rhea-ii   Work with Ron:  https://stan.store/TempleBuildingCoaching   Follow Ron on IG:...

In today’s episode, Patrick interviews me (Kylene) and asks me questions about my experience as a betrayed partner.    Some things we discuss are:   What was discovery like for me How was I able to express my emotions What were things that Patrick did that were helpful or hurtful What do I wish all addicts knew Why vulnerable conversations are so important   And more…     We hope that this episode...

We live in a sex saturated world. It's an unfortunate reality that children are getting exposed to inappropriate materials earlier and earlier. As parents, it's our job to guide our children and protect them to the best of our ability.   One of the best ways we can do this is by having open and honest conversations with them around sex, sexuality and pornography early, and often. But how can we do...

This week we are discussing 4 myths (that we think keep people stuck) in the recovery community.  Patrick and I deeply believe in our mission to bring education and awareness around recovery because we know the freedom in your life that it can bring.    That being said, there are several beliefs in the recovery and faith communities that we see keeping people from reaching their full potential in...

In today’s episode, Kylene opens up about her personal healing journey—sharing some of her painful experiences with the church, moments of struggle in her faith, and how finding a safe and supportive community became a crucial part of her recovery. She also explores the importance of connection—connection to self, to others, and to God—and why cultivating these three areas is essential for betraye...

What is it that makes some people successful in sex or porn addiction recovery? There are several key commitments/mindsets/beliefs that all individuals who get into recovery share and we are breaking them down in today's episode.    1. They want recovery (intrinsic motivation) 2. They commit to honesty no matter the cost 3. They are willing to get uncomfortable to the point of sacrifice 4. They Un...

Modesty is a good thing right? But what if the messaging around modesty keeps individuals stuck and instead of protecting people, actually causes harm?   In today’s episode Kylene and Patrick discuss why they think that the pornography culture and modesty culture have the same end impact —> that is,  communicating that humans are objects.   We know this is a sticky topic and one that involves d...

Today's guest is Kaija Dawn, a relationship coach specializing in sacred intimacy, nervous system regulation, and relationship energetics.    She shares her personal story and together she and Kylene discuss making difficult choices, learning to trust yourself through the process, and feeling vs intellectualizing decisions.    You can find Kaia on Instagram @iamkaijadawn and her podcast: The Woman...

After discovery, a betrayed partner is left trying to make sense of a reality that suddenly feels upside down. Moments and symbols once filled with joy -like wedding photos, anniversaries, rings - can now feel heavy and confusing. In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick share their personal approach to some of these difficult moments. They explore the emotions these events bring up from both perspe...

In today's episode, Kylene and Patrick share several experiences to anticipate as you navigate initial sobriety from porn or sex addiction patterns including: Dreams and Intrusive Thoughts Uncomfortable Emotions Nocturnal Emissions Alternative coping mechanisms or behaviors  They discuss the importance of choice through sobriety, how deep recovery means living a life making conscious choices vs fa...

Content Warning: Today's episode is discussing some of traumatic events that have happened in our society lately and that are all over the news leading to a heavier episode. Please be aware of where you are in your recovery if this episode is appropriate for you.   Things we discuss: The impact of national violence and how it impacts us individually  How societal change starts individually  The im...

Life and recovery are rarely simple. Sometimes, unique dynamics add even more layers to an already complex journey. In this episode, Kylene and Patrick explore three challenging scenarios that can complicate the recovery process:   What if the betrayed partner has also struggled with addiction but in another form? What if the betrayed partner has also had an affair in the past?  What if the betray...

As much as we wish it were, healing isn't always linear. There are ups and downs, and moments where we are living happily in the present and are reminded of the past.    In today's episode Kylene and Patrick share about grief, how confusing it can feel for the betrayed partner, and how important it is to recognize that healing doesn't mean we forget what happened.   It's normal for thoughts, emoti...

Boundaries aren't just helpful for the hurt spouse, they are crucial for the recovering spouse as well. They can create structure, offer safety and give the betrayed partner the information they need in order to make decisions about the future of the relationship.   There are many individuals that struggle with the idea of boundaries. In today's episode, we offer some reframes around what boundari...

In this episode, Kylene and Patrick explore the difference between compliance—“just checking the boxes”, and true proactivity, where personal responsibility becomes the driving force of recovery. They share why compliance alone can feel hollow, often leaving betrayed partners frustrated as they wait for their spouse to engage in recovery with equal energy and commitment. Together, they unpack why...

In today’s episode, Kylene and Patrick discuss healthy sexuality after betrayal, addiction and infidelity.  What is healthy sexuality? Why is consent so important and what does that look like?    They share thoughts on what plays into our beliefs around sexuality and their own personal experiences around healing.   They mention the Raabsmiths book: “Building True Intimacy” which you can see here: ...

In today’s brief episode, Kylene and Patrick continue the conversation from last time, where they explored the difference between finding someone attractive and feeling sexual arousal in recovery. This time, they share key resources that have influenced their understanding of healthy sexuality and reinforce the empowering truth that we can take ownership of our thoughts, behaviors, and responses....

In today's episode Kylene and Patrick answer a question about a recovering addict being attracted to women in yoga pants. When is noticing someone is attractive a threat to the betrayed partner or to their own sobriety/recovery?   They discuss objectification vs humanizing and how seeing someone as a whole human being makes a difference. They share how being able to walk in the world feeling free...