Radio Free Tote Bag

We're so happy to have Xavier and Brooke of The Bellowing Pines join us for this very special episode! Here, we discuss mucus walls, The Devil's Lettuce, egg donor self-harm cop call cheating, ex-coworker inpropriety, cross-cultural dating with arranged marriages and long-winded family memembers. If only to show them how dank-nice you are you gotta spill the beans. Dodge the whole scenario and hit...

You gotta try to look on the upside. We open on a poetry reading, that's pretty good. Arthur's voice is beat af, but that gives him more gravitas, that's good too. Your homeboy bangs your crush? You're eskimo brothers now. Boyfriend asks if you're pregnant in a creepy way? He's family oriented! Condoms in the house after a business trip? He's cheating responsibly! UPSIDES EVERYWHERE. Classic mascu...

1/4 carat diamond tennis bracelets. Ryan Adams. A lonely old lady. These add up to the most intensley horrifying 45 seconds of Arthur's life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ6ixMe32qg ^ Link to the saccharine hellscape Put down your dang phone on date night, don't date a fighter jet, understand that your partner might have a thing for pink, satin panties, mute the porn, smash that mf smash-on-th...

Arthur's pumped on Problem X winning Street Fighter at EVO 2018 and Dono is pumped that he found a way to make Picky stop cramming her foot in his mouth. Make a fist and grind it, get professional mental health care and get you a pretty girl on your arm. It'll make you feel 10 feet tall. As the philosopher Schopenhauer said... I have no idea what he said but I feel like it might have been rad? Gra...

Welcome to Cat Talk! The latest and greatest podcast about cats literally burrowing into your goddamn furniture and also about rock climbing for some reason. Specifically, when your spouse is yelling aggressive beta at you while you're just trying to pass that crux brotherrr! Meow. Jk it's us and this is Radio Free Tote Bag. Over here on this one, we discuss rock climbing romance and psychiatric s...

Radio Free Bofa deez people on one mic! Betsy joins us in studio to dish out the advice and the looks and the shade! Don't break your teeth on the ice, or think about that fucking onsie while you're boning ME. If you meet your doppelganger, tell him/her to stay away from your ex because it might break your sense of self. THIS JUST IN, controlling jerks are still jerks and you shouldn't marry them....

Donovan's out of town again and goddamn his internet is bad. Arthur decided to leave in the behind the scenes stuff on this one so prepare for some DIY love. We talk beach, jealously and flirting in relationships, hysterectomies for birth control? You get to hear Arthur sing and Donovan read a new fake ad (on the FLY). We rank the holidays courtesy of a question box question from our main dude Fin...

In this edition of Radio Free Tote Bag we drop a clip from Mr. Oizo's Let The Children Techno, because Arthur can't resist. We ponder the inevitability of weight gain, engage with the teens, bang out as many as we can, tease apart some hidden feelings, get two bobs in, and almost say slurs TWICE. God damn it, we're bastards! Change your shitty, misogynist t-shirt!

This one? Right here? This one is for AMERICA. We get itchy, just in time for a hot date. We set some boundaries re: boning outside the relationship and also re: Bolivian marching powder. We meet some new friends in public restrooms and ponder whether lonely boys should stay lonely. Being calm is nice, but if you're too cool we're never gonna know you're into us. OH and we hit that question box. W...

Golly gee we sure hate hiatuses. Donovan went to Europe and Arthur messed up his old man back but we're back and we're never leaving ever again. We talk about Irish people, expired relationships, creepily worded pre-relationship questions, boat dog duty, unwanted grandma hugs, the ceaseless march of death and decrepitude, some ridiculous-ass analogies from /r/sex, sex fart anxiety, uncouth housegu...

Dang these teens are out here with the clinical language! Where's the poetry of youth with these young folks? Dono went to 'Roo. Arthur went to a young person's birthday party. They both lost their nicotine machines. Congestion smudges the recording but we soldier on. Smile! Don't make a face! You look like a California Idiot! Step up the plate and swing the relationship bat!

Whether you're down at the fishin' hole, the bowling alley, or you're out on the lynx, watch out for bad dads. Give 'em your hashtag Snapchat if you want to keep in touch. Just make sure you don't spill the beans on your friends with benefit if your bro is now dating her. Dono buys booze for 'Roo. Arthur struggles with density. Death Grips has a skeeting disorder.

Dono is so congested but he cares about you beautiful people so much so he tries to beat it. We talk Arthur's questionable Tinder hookup, fancy ass scotch and other liquor, a bad situation with a friend from Donovan's past, boiled frogs, SOs with too many questions, guilting someone into staying in a relationship, crappy objectifying dudes, depression outreach on campus and surrogate parenthood wi...

Ira Glass stops by to share a glampse into a dark future, we cross the pond, preserve the idea of Harvey Dent and hit the horns on 'em. Donovan is very polite to the text. Arthur asks the hard questions.

This week we have our first product review and we try to remove some of the stigma from male sex toys. Also there is mention of cats and psychiatric medication and, once again, the need for communication!

Oh GOD what a downer. Arthur sorted questions by controversial this time which just results in nothing but break up downer questions. His air horn hand is now broken and we may never be able to air horn again. Air horn. Anyways we smash the hell out of these questions, hear some hell stories from retail, talk 30-nostril mutants, discuss men's weird hatred of condom, shrimping, how Tinder for "meet...

Arth-uh-Adele sings the intro and wow is it beautiful. We talk about Mr Plow, excessive PDA and a lot more but it's 2:45am while I'm writing this and ya boy needs rest so you'll have to listen to find out!

Arthur can legally drive now! We talk retail, LA traffic, my old car, dirty roommates and filthy SOs, our emoji histories, secret revenge porn, and we share the sweet sounds of our stomach gasses with you, the listener. As they say, you can never get enough Radio Free Tote Bag!

I forget what my name is in the first sixty seconds of the show and Arthur is a monster and leaves it in. We talk Easter, a great idea for a Christian Star Wars, cringey moments from the preteen years, argumentative boyfriends, inappropriate coworkers, shitty music and good food from Cincinnati, and more Reddit questions. My audio fucks up so many times but Arthur saves the day. As always, thank y...

Clogged toilets, hoarder families and smiley faces with three mouths. We read and respond to this week's anonymous question box questions. I have garbage level energy at the beginning but am returnted to form by some quality role play with Arthur. Arthur is on point as usual.

We take user submitted questions from our anonymous question box and we answer the absolute hell out of them. We also hit a couple Reddit Qs as is tradition. Submit your own question anonymously at http://freesuggestionbox.com/pub/ohiwqnz

We crush a role play of a girlfriend who loves to cook but isn't very good at it and her boyfriend who needs to break the news as nicely as possible. Realistic tears ensue. We also discuss wasp-filled boxes. AND we have new outro music by friends of the show The Heyfellows! Check em out at theheyfellows.com, instagram.com/theheyfellows, Spotify and everywhere else good music resides!

We drink beer and talk about being way too drunk in college and then answer some dang Qs. Our audio sounds real good.

I get a pop filter, talk into the mic, and stop squeaking my dang chair. Arthur sounds lovely as usual. Our flow is p good on this one.

We finally got it together and made a podcast. My audio is a bit off and my chair is squeaky but Arthur sounds crispier than a cool October morning.