Rabbit Troop Sucks

Cosmic fella who can’t breathe the same air as his love is in a real dilemma. This stellar tale of love is as old as the cosmos. Ix (Miguel Bosé) is not a starman, and he’s not waiting in the sky. He’s collecting the spirits of animals – as you do. When Princess Alba (Maria Lamor) goes swimming in the nude, Star Knight takes her into the “dragon.” Klever (Harvey Keitel) doesn’t like that! And, he...

You are cordially invited to an epic Guy-entine’s Day. Fill your cups up with mimosas and grab a handful of chocolate hearts. We did! Adam (Brendon Fraser) has grown up in a fallout shelter. His parents, Calvin (Christopher Walken) and Helen (Sissy Spacek), hid there in what they thought was a nuclear blast. Now, 35 years later, the vault is open, and Adam is sent into the modern world above to ga...

It’s time for an American sporting tradition as old as this tradition itself. Tradition activated! Super Bowl time! Get your favorite snacks and peeps together. We hope your favorite teams do the things you want them to do. No slobberknockers necessary. A disgraced football player, Paul Crewe (Burt Reynolds), spirals out of control and lands himself in prison. Once there, a delusional warden (Eddi...

From the get-go, you need to know there was NO other option than putting a bunch of poisonous snakes on a plane, time releasing them and amping them up with some pheromones. Is Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson) the Joker? Neville Flynn (Samule L. Jackson) is doing his best to protect his key witness, Sean (Nathan Phillips), from these slithering, fanged horrors. Claire (Julianna Margulies) wants to survive...

Happy Lunar New Year! It’s the year of the snake, and it’s time for reflection, growth and careful decision-making. Sing (Stephen Chow) experiences all of this. In 1940’s Shanghai, Sing and his friend Bone (Tze-Chung Lam) try and fail at grifting their way into a housing complex. They turn to the Axe Gang for assistance and recruitment, and they fail at that as well. The Axe Gang is also extremely...

Irwin “Fletch” Fletcher (Chevy Chase) is an undercover newspaper reporter investigating excess drug trafficking on the beach. The police and high-ranking officials might be involved. What’s going on in this city? While Fletch is sleuthing, Alan Stanwyk (Tim Matheson) offers him 50K to kill him. It’s an insurance thing! Through a series of amazing disguises, one-liners, stealth and a bit of luck, F...

When Hazel’s mom, Carolyne, requests Cabin Boy, you get on that! Nathanial Mayweather (Chris Elliot) is a snob and a real jerk. But, he is a fancy lad. After he boards the wrong boat, he is trapped amongst the crew (Ritch Brinkley, James Gammon, Brian Doyle-Murray and Brion James) who despise him. Nathanial desperately wants to get to Hawaii to meet up with his richy-rich father. Along the way, th...

It’s a new year! Let’s open it by celebrating the 40 th anniversary of Real Genius. You deserve it! Mitch Taylor (Gabriel Jarret) is a 15-year-old prodigy who has been accepted into a university to work on a freakin’ laser. He gets to work with legendary genius (and outlandish) Chris Knight (Val Kilmer) on this project. Mitch wants Chris to focus. Chris wants Mitch to loosen up. It’s like a pair o...

Do you have a golden ticket? Do you want to sing about it? Danny (Austin O’Brien) has been given a magical one. It was originally from Houdini. While watching a midnight screener of his favorite action star, Jack Slater (Arnold Schwarzenegger), Danny is transported into the film. Now, he serves as a comedic sidekick in a zany fantasy world based on Hollywood tropes. Benedict (Charles Dance) gets h...

A bonus holiday episode! What!? Can’t keep a good holiday down! We’ll visit the past to talk in our present, and you can listen in our future. John McClane (Bruce Willis) is back! Back but in D.C. to see the in-laws for Christmas. And he’s now LAPD? But Dulles was actually filmed at the old Stapleton airport in Denver! Baddies are everywhere! Planes are running out of fuel. Reporters are trying to...

Happy holidays, everyone! It’s time for winter, and it’s time for another Joe Dante film. The year of Dante continues on! After daddy/the father (Hoyt Axton) sneaks off with a Mogwai from Chinatown, he gifts it to his son, Billy (Zach Galligan), just before Christmas. There are some rules that need to be followed for Gizmo (the Mogwai). Within a day, Billy amazingly disregards these rules, and now...

Santa Claus is coming to town! Also, he hates you, children and all that is good. So, little known fact, Santa (Bill Goldberg) is actually the demon son of Satan and Ericka. After losing a bet to an angel, Santa has been forced to bear gifts and be jolly for a thousand years. Now, that timeline is up! Nicolas (Douglas Smith) is a young, hapless doof in the dating department, but somehow his hot-to...

A gigantic thank you to our listener, Jim, for requesting this fizzy-comedic flick. Bob (Rick Moranis) and Doug McKenzie (Dave Thomas) somehow obtain jobs at the Elsinore Brewery. Between the free beer and beer-related tasks they are in charge of, these hosers just reached heaven. Unfortunately, Brewmeister Smith (Max von Sydow) is planning to brainwash everyone with his mind-controlling beer seru...

Visit the Shore[s] this Thanksgiving! We hope you all had/are having wonderful holidays! Did you “chow down and munch on some grindage”? Too much food? Too much family? Too much indulgence? Wash it all down with another pie or two. We’ve got a holiday tale to get to. Rebecca Warner (Carla Gugino) leaves her small town in South Dakota for UCLA. School is going well, but, socially, she is having a h...

A huge thank you to our listener, Jake, for requesting this Gun-Fu epic! Mr. Smith (Clive Owen) doesn’t like that some randos are trying to put a baby mama in the corner – and then the baby in a corner too! Nope! Gun mode level 12! These goons didn’t know Smith is a gun-god! Most of these thugs go down quickly, but these bosses don’t like Smith interfering. Smith, with concerns for the child, seek...

Our friend Reg (Cubicle Comrades podcast) requested and joins us for his Rabbit Troop Sucks debut, and you’ll see his distraction knife. Then, it’s too late! Jeff Sanders (Jeff Speakman) has a lot of anger and a lot of flashbacks stored inside himself. So many flashbacks! Snap! “It’s getting’ kinda hectic.” Through his training in Kenpo, he tries to temper all of this. Master Lo (Seth Sakai) sends...

Thank you to our listener, Hillary, for requesting this film that is ripe with the top. Many have taken this as a tutorial on being a power top. Lincoln Hawk (Sylvester Stallone) has been gone, but now he’s back! He’s got the green light from his hospitalized wife, Christina (Susan Blakely), that he can reconnect with his son, Michael (David Mendenhall). Time for an epic father and son road trip!...

Thank you to our listener, Ryan, for requesting this high-flying amazingness. Doug (Jason Gedrick) dreams of being a fighter pilot just like his father. His father (Tim Thomerson) is shot down and captured, and it seems that the U.S. government isn’t moving quickly enough to rescue him. Now, he’s got three days to live, and Doug will gain the Obi Wan wisdom of Chappy (Louis Gossett Jr.). With the...

Welcome back to another SUPER HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR episode! Happy Halloween from RTS! Frank Bannister (Michael J. Fox), after an accident, has the ability to communicate with the deceased. Of course, using these powers to scare up some profits is going to be the first order of business. Lucy (Trini Alvarado) just lost her husband and is open to Frank’s ghost-vibe. Things seem to go well, but now...

“I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand.” What we are dealing with here is not hunger. People are in danger. You know this small town is not going to let a bunch of violent murders go on. Who is doing this? Human? Animal? Everyone is upset and taking it in their own hands. In the middle of the night, after sneaking out, Marty (Corey Haim) witnesses the truth. This is a monster! Luckily,...

Everything is very la-di-da – at the death spa. Worry not, if you become cut up or even haunted, you’ll get a few months for free. Michael Evens (William Bumiller) can make all of your dreams come true. Well, your gym dreams. His wife Catherine (Shari Shattuck) died a year ago. He thinks that’s a bummer, but with the comfort of Laura (Brenda Bakke), he’s been doing okay. And, in the gym business i...

We thank our listener, Jenna, and their fine request for this film. We all had a lot of fun watching this. Buffy (Kristy Swanson) has been chosen! She has some powers and some past lives, and now it’s time to send these fanged-sob’s right back into the ground! But, she’ll do it while ninja-kicking, heart-stabbing and accessorizing. Everyone wants some of Buffy’s time! Teen drama alert! Pike (Luke...

Welcome to October fun month! No Michael Myers here. Beloved company Silver Shamrock just wants to celebrate Halloween by making the world’s coolest masks. Dr. Daniel Challis/”Dr. Bang” (Tom Atkins) can’t let being a tomcat in the city be enough. So, he takes his dead patient’s daughter, Ellie (Stacey Nelkin), to explore where these masks are coming from. Yes, there are dudes ripping faces off and...

Attempting to do a line of ice. You’re watching Miami Vice! Doing this thing again, being nice. Failed once. I’ll try it twice. Jason (Robert Urich) and Roscoe (Michael D. Roberts) know exactly how it is. You have to hustle – and maybe do questionable things. Space questionable! They have an entire crew. It includes Maida (Angelica Huston), what!? Zeno (Ron Perlman) whips up some alien Thanksgivin...

It’s a new season, and it’s time for another Joe Dante film. The year of Dante continues! Also, fall is among us! Hoodies! Warm drinks! Jovial spookiness! Yes! Ben Crandall (Ethan Hawke) has been having some interesting dreams as of late. You know, dreams. He details out what he has seen within these tech-heavy visions and shares it with his friend (and all-round man of science), Wolfgang (River P...