Rabbit Troop Sucks

Buyer beware in this story! A biker gang kills an occult leader trying to summon a demon. This demon then fuses itself into a motorcycle (duh!). Noddy (Neil Morrissey) purchases this motorcycle from a friend (for a questionable price). It becomes quickly apparent that this bike is an evil vampire demon force that thirsts for blood. Noddy just wants to fondle his girlfriend Kim (Amanda Noar) and ha...

Two high schoolers are up to some standard fantasy youthful stuff. Barney Springboro (Scott Baio) is a science pro! While working in the lab, he accidentally concocts a formula that gives him telekinesis. His buddy, Peyton Nichols (Willie Aames), wants to harness that power to get women out of their tops and to win some serious money betting. Barney doesn’t seem to like that idea all too much, but...

Through a series of moments in time, we learn about Connor MacLeod (Christopher Lambert) who was born in the highlands of Scotland. He is an immortal swordsman who has been trained by Ramirez (Sean Connery) and prepares for “The Gathering” in NYC. The winner will obtain “The Prize.” As the end battle approaches, the Kurgan (Clancy Brown) is going on a murderous rampage – immortals or not. He is de...

John Matrix (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a sweet, ex-military man trying to live his retired life with his daughter, Jenny (Alyssa Milano). When he’s not logging or walking around with logs, he’s eating ice cream and feeding wild deer. Now, Arius (Dan Hedaya) and his number one thug, Bennett (Vernon Wells), pull John back into the game by kidnapping Jenny. John is all Command-NO about it! He somehow...

We’ve got a bonus episode, birthday boy Jeremy and more Christmas Fun! Carol Vanstone (Jennifer Aniston) is going full Grinch and is planning to shut down the Chicago branch of the tech company her brother Clay (T.J. Miller) runs. To combat this, Clay, with his CTO Josh (Jason Bateman), tries to land one big client, Walter Davis (Courtney B. Vance), to save the day, the jobs, the spirit of the sea...

Happy Holidays! We have exclusive tickets to the Nutcracker Ball for you and your loved ones. Just don’t let Miley Cyrus talk you into anything you don’t want to do. In 2001, Ethan Miller (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) loses his parents in a tragic car accident. Ever since, his two best friends, Isaac (Seth Rogan) and Chris (Anthony Mackie), celebrate the holidays so Ethan isn’t alone. Now, as the trio ha...

Brick Bardo (Tim Thomerson) is a tough cop living on some trash world of Arturos. After proving, yet again, how rad he is, he tells the mayor to shove it. Rules be damned! Crime doesn’t take a day off. Unfortunately, Bardo’s long-time and now disassembled baddie-rival, Sprug (Frank Collison), zaps them both to the Bronx on Earth. In comparison, Bardo is only thirteen inches in height to average Ea...

In a sort of what if, youthful versions of Sherlock Holmes (Nicholas Rowe) and John Watson (Alan Cox) meet at an English boarding school. After quick introductions, Holmes demonstrates his legendary sleuthing abilities (based on the writings of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle). We see a tender side of Holmes as well. Elizabeth (Sophie Ward) lives on the school grounds with her uncle. When the game is not a...

Combat Black Friday! You have all that you need. Learn from this couple. You don’t need excess when you have each other. Alice (Juno Temple) and John (Michael Angarano) are trying to improve their lives. Unfortunately, it seems no matter what they do, they’re more or less stuck. But, they do love each other. After Alice makes off with a teapot from an antique shop, she quickly learns that pain, in...

T-Grande! Let us lend you a helping hand this year. While you are prepping your heart out or chowing down all hog wild, let us share with you a very fantastical tale on this very special T-Grande episode. Everything is getting mashed, and there will be gravy! Tango (Sylvester Stallone) and Cash (Kurt Russell) are supposed to be the best in the LAPD. There are newspaper articles coming out every fe...

Kids these days! Out causing trouble! Always involved in some sort of mischief. Resurrecting into ghoul demons and trying to eat everyone around! Hey, don’t blame the kids. Blame the ancient curse. Jersey Callum (Ed Nelson) and his psychic partner with a case of the blues, Alley Oates (Deborah Rose), get caught up in this zombie madness. Can they get out? Shepard (Norman Fell) has a ponytail. Will...

Some people claiming to be scientists (they could be) are experimenting with dreams and deep sleep. They do this in an underground facility (as you do), and they open a parallel dimension (also, as you do). Because a test subject dies (explodes all over the place), Captain Hickock (David Beecroft) is called in to investigate the work of Dr. Erhardt (Louise Fletcher) and Dr. Van Fleet (James Hong)....

Emmett Fitz-Hume (Chevy Chase) and Austin Milllbarge (Dan Aykroyd) have been promoted! Congratulations! They will serve as decoys while other CIA agents take down a Soviet nuclear missile launcher. But, not everything in this mission is adding up. Along the way, there will be parachute drops! A metal briefcase with handcuffs is used. There is a secret underground base! Will Sam Raimi let you in? T...

It’s that magical time of year for another SUPER HALLOWEEN SPOOKTACULAR episode! Happy Halloween from everyone at RTS! We have a very spooky trivia quiz as well. Charley Brewster (William Ragsdale) should be grateful for the life he is living. While in his bedroom, between mom-approved sex sessions with his girlfriend, Amy (Amanda Bearse), Charley spies on his new neighbor, Jerry Dandrige (Chris S...

Tucker (Alan Tudyk) and his best pal Dale (Tyler Labine) are starting their dream vacation. Tucker just spent his savings by purchasing a fixer-upper cabin in the woods. They want to spend their time fishing, relaxing and drinking some beers. There are stories and rumors of some sort of a woodsy massacre from years past, but that won’t stop these two from living their best lives. What will try to...

Written by Stephen King, we have three creepy tales guided (sort of) by a cat’s experience and perspective. And, we have our first anthology to discuss on RTS. In our first tale, Dick Morrison (James Woods) is trying his best (maybe) to quit smoking through Quitters, Inc. Dr. Vinny Donatti (Alan King) assures Morrison that he has a 100% success rate, and there will be results or else. In tale two,...

Cole (Judah Lewis) is a somewhat nerdy but good-natured boy who is turning into a young man. When Cole’s parents leave town for the weekend, he’s beyond excited to spend time with his mega-crush babysitter, Bee (Samara Weaving). Bee is the whole package for Cole. She’s funny, she’s pretty, and she can talk nerd culture with ease. When Cole stays up one night to see what the cool kids do, he is sur...

The struggle of a teen is real. This isn’t the story of a young republican banker to be or of a time traveler avoiding the affections of his mom. This is the howling tale of Scott Howard (Michael J. Fox). He wants to date the girl of his dreams, Pamela (Lorie Griffin), be a high school basketball star and just be popular and liked. Seems like average teen aspirations. He’s also surfing on vans wit...

The mustachioed mythos of Jack Ramsay (Tom Selleck) is revealed and is in full force (full stalk) within this futuristic dream. Ram-Man does NOT like rogue robots. They really twiddle his stache. He also doesn’t like heights, and sometimes he becomes a real grump about it. Luckily, he’s partnered up with Karen Thompson (Cynthia Rhodes) to temper the crank. And, if Ramsay can’t grab a dinner with J...

What do you have planned for your science project? Another show stopping volcano? Regrow some vegetable scraps? Solar powered something? How about submitting an unstable device that creates time warps? Let’s go with that! Michael Harlan (John Stockwell) has been told by ex-hippie turned professor, Bob (Dennis Hopper) that he needs to submit a science project or he will fail. Mike takes his friend/...

We received this super fun listener request. Thank you, Mike! In this tale of teenage heroism, viewers will learn the ways of fresh baby nugs and wheezing the juice and/or gigs. Dave Morgan (Sean Astin) is a grump with dreams of becoming the prom king, dating Robyn (Megan Ward) and hosting an epic end of year pool party. This party will be in the current backyard hole he is digging with his bestie...

The Harvey family from Chicago have inherited a yacht that was once owned by Clark Gable, and they want to give their kids an out-of-city sailing experience that they will remember. Oh, they’re going to remember this! Martin/dad (Martin Short) thinks he can do it all. He cannot. Katherine/mom (Mary Kay Place) is good spirited and skeptical (rightfully so). Leading the family is the fantastical Cap...

This is the legendary story of Toby Kellogg (Jason Bateman), a somewhat questionable musician with an equally questionable future in the music industry and how he handled the mob. Toby wants to hang out with his band and his new lady friend, Megan (Chynna Phillips). Unfortunately, Toby’s parents believe in him and send him to music camp in Interlochen for eight weeks. Halfway through, Toby sneaks...

Herbert West (Jeffrey Combs) is a strange, young medical student who will break as many pencils as it takes for you to understand that dead cells can come back. West moves in with another medical student, Dan Cain (Bruce Abbott), and he experiments with green glowing serums and Dan’s dead cat. Dan is dating Megan (Barbara Crampton), who thinks West is a major creep. During these scientific shenani...

Kai James of the Australian band Girl and Girl joins us. As an Australian ambassador, he lets us know that this is ALL true. Maybe even based on a true story. In a somewhat near future, things have gone wrong! Australia, the U.S. and North Korea are all that’s left! That’s bizarre. When you’re not thinking of that, go see a film. Jimmy ‘Crabs’ Rossini (Ned Manning) wants that. Oh, and sex with Car...