Pure Desire Podcast

“Just wait until I get married, then it will all get better.” These words have either been said or thought by many of us in the church. We assume being married and having sex with our spouse will rid us of our sexual brokenness or compulsive behaviors. Unfortunately, this is a myth.  On today’s episode, our Clinical Director, Tyler Chinchen, joins us to talk through why this myth exists, the damag...

When addiction, brokenness, and betrayal enter a marriage, it can significantly impact a couple’s sexual relationship. Unfortunately, sexual brokenness and betrayal are not the only things that can hijack a couple’s sex life.  On today’s episode, we’re joined by Brent and Nicole Breining, who are part of the Pure Desire family. Brent, a clinician for Pure Desire, and his wife, Nicole, share how so...

For many of us who are on the recovery and healing journey, understanding the full scope of intimacy can be confusing. If you’re in this camp, you won’t want to miss this episode! We are excited to have Phil and Priscilla Fretwell on the show today! They are co-founders of Savage Marriage Ministries and authors of Savage Marriage: Triumph Over Betrayal and Sexual Addiction —their story of addictio...

Relapse is returning to the place we promised God, ourselves, or others we wouldn’t go back to. So preventing relapse is a worthy goal. But can relapse be prevented proactively and practically? The answer: yes. On today’s episode, Mike Maxwell leverages his many years in recovery and leading Pure Desire groups to help us learn tools and techniques for preventing relapse. RESOURCES Full Episode Vid...

It’s difficult to understate the importance of community in recovery. But honesty in community isn’t easy. It requires intention and a willingness to be fully known. Dishonesty leads to shame and isolation. Honesty leads to freedom. Brent Breining, a Pure Desire Clinician, joins us today to discuss how to break secrecy, how to be honest in daily life, and why this actually matters.  RESOURCES Full...

Unprocessed trauma has a way of making itself known. Triggers reveal areas in our life where something isn’t quite right. If we’re not willing to address these areas, they can become a major obstacle in our relationships, workplace advancement, and breaking free from addiction. Heather Kolb is on the podcast today to talk about how the brain processes trauma and how we heal from trauma.  RESOURCES...

Shame is often used as a motivator. But shame only motivates us to do one thing: hide. Shame causes us to hide because we start to believe the lie that our mistakes and missteps are proof that we are disqualified to receive love and acceptance. But Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection are evidence of the immense worth and value of humans. Rodney Wright joins us today to talk about why shame perpet...

Solitude is an intentional time alone for renewal and centering yourself on God. Isolation is a pattern of disengaging from or intentionally not engaging in relationship with others. In this episode, we identify what isolation is, how it’s different from solitude, and why isolation is like gasoline on the addictive fire. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Recovery Resource For Women Recovery R...

When we get toward the end of the year, setting new goals perpetually comes up. Why is this? And how can we create goals we’ll actually stick to? Our clinical director, Tyler Chinchen, joins us on today’s episode to talk about yearly goals, how to set them, how to maintain them, and why they matter on the recovery and healing journey. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) The Compassionate Warrio...

Self-care isn’t selfish. Yet, establishing rhythms of self-care can impact the people around us both positively and negatively. If we want to practice proactive self-care, it will require an intentional, thought-out plan that is communicated to our loved ones. Kelly Johnston, our Online Women's Groups Coordinator, is on the podcast today discussing how to maintain self-care, how to find things tha...

What is it about the holiday season that makes conflict more likely? It seems inevitable. So how can we engage in conflict in a healthy way? In today’s episode, Ashley Jameson helps unpack strategies for healthy conflict (even if you’re conflict-avoidant), how to help our loved ones engage in healthy conflict, and why this matters to our recovery. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Necessary E...

The holidays are packed with clashing expectations in relationships. Assertiveness is one of the tools we can use to navigate these challenging situations. Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive—it simply means clearly communicating your needs to others. In this episode, Heather Kolb joins us to discuss how to be assertive, the benefits of being assertive about your needs, and how to naviga...

This week’s episode wraps up our “oldy but goody” episodes. Today, we revisit our conversation with Heather Kolb on a healthy sex life. Everyone wants a healthy sex life. Period. But what does it actually mean to have one? How often should married couples have sex? What qualifies as good sex? How do you improve the health of your sex life? We talk about ALL of this on today’s episode. RESOURCES  F...

We’re in week two of our three-week “oldy but goody” series of episodes. We revisit our conversation with Ashley Jameson on making a better Commitment to Change. The Commitment to Change (CTC) is a weekly tool that Pure Desire groups use on the road to recovery. But how do we unlock the vast potential of this tool? What makes a CTC effective? How can it help us develop holistic health? Listen in t...

This episode starts three weeks of “oldy but goody” episodes from the podcast. This week, we revisit our conversation with our founder, Dr. Ted Roberts on father wounds . We discuss what a father wound is, how it compares to a mother wound , and how to recognize if you have one. We also talk through where in Scripture we see the father wound , how we address it, and how not to pass it on to our ki...

When discovery happens in a marriage, a bomb goes off. Life is shattered into a million pieces and you question, “Is redemption even possible?” Author of the new book, Happily Even After , Dannah Gresh, joins us on the podcast today. She answers that question emphatically, “YES!” Redemption is not only possible, but probable when God is central in a marriage AND both partners are getting the prope...

Churches new to Pure Desire and interested in launching groups often face hurdles and feel intimidated. Yet, there are hundreds of churches helping men and women find hope and healing through Pure Desire groups. In this episode, Eastview Church leadership shares the challenges they still face, how many groups they’re currently running (Note: it’s lower than you’d expect for a large church), and wh...

We teach our kids how to clean their teeth and eat food. Yet when it comes to teaching healthy sexuality, we often feel lost. Author Kristen Jenson has worked to help parents teach their kids about the dangers of pornography, how to navigate these tough conversations as they come up, and how kids can “forget” things they’ve seen. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Good Pictures Bad Pictures (b...

Some people have a difficult time reconciling therapy with their faith. They see it as personal weakness at best and distance from God at worst. But Christians who become healthy through counseling are a gift to the world! Rodney Wright is on the podcast today sharing about how he found a counselor, how the experience impacted his faith and relationships, and gives practical advice for anyone cons...

Milestones are really important to those recovering from addiction or healing from betrayal trauma. But Milestones aren’t always helpful or beneficial. In this episode, Ashley Jameson joins us to discuss how to identify and measure milestones, which milestones might be particularly dangerous, and which milestones fly under the radar but should really be celebrated. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (Yo...

Everyone has a story that is uniquely theirs. When we hear someone’s story we begin to understand how pain and trauma entered their life. We can connect the dots in their story from pain to healing and realize–we’re not alone. If they can heal, so can I. John Begeman joins us today to discuss a three category approach to sharing our story, when and how to share, and why it even matters. RESOURCES...

Relapse can happen anytime. Whether you’re in year two or 25 of recovery. In The Compassionate Warrior , this is attributed to 5 Brain Bugs. Rich Moore joins us today to discuss what these 5 Brain Bugs are, how to identify them, and what it looks like to address them. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) FASTER Scale 1 Peter 5:8 The Compassionate Warrior Seven Pillars of Freedom (Prerequisite to...

When your spouse doesn’t want to have sex, you likely feel alone and lost. When you’re the one who is uninterested in sex, you may not even understand why. However, in a healthy marriage where addiction and betrayal aren’t present, sex is a beautiful gift. This episode with Heather Kolb gets into the challenging questions about how, when, and why people may be living in a sexless marriage and what...

It’s common for people to think they can recover from their addiction or stop their behaviors on their own. Unfortunately, that just isn’t how recovery works. Community is a necessity for lasting healing and freedom. Harry Flanagan joins us today to debunk this myth and provide a path for those struggling with this harmful belief. RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Pure Desire Summit Online Gr...

In this episode, we talked about the theme of the Pure Desire Summit 2023, From The Heart. Why we chose this theme, its importance to the recovery journey, why people should attend, and more. We hope you’re planning to join us online or in-person for our biggest event of the year!  RESOURCES Full Episode Video (YouTube) Pure Desire Summit GET STARTED Summit 2026!: Register Now Free eBook: 7 Keys T...