Primary Attribute Incorporated

The party drags their injured members to the clinic to get patched up and recover. While they're there, a social kerfuffle breaks out, they take advantage of local expertise, and a member attempts petty theft. Later, politics are discussed with someone's mom. Aracyne misses an important introduction. Wealthy up and moves. Vons is a single issue voter. Grickx *doesn't* want to engage in wanton murd...

Hey everyone, please join us in supporting the West Seattle Food Bank for their Instruments of Change event on May 14th, 2022! We've sponsored the event and will be there in person, if you want to come say hi, or you can attend virtually, with free tickets still available. The food bank does a lot of important work in the community, helping provide food, clothes, and numerous other resources to fo...

From the moment the desk walked into their lives, the party knew it was going to be trouble. But it had gorgeous hardware and a great set of legs. They couldn't resist trying to get in its drawer. So they made their move, with all the subtlety of a crowbar. And that's when everything went sideways. Vons believes in the importance of hydration. Wealthy overspecializes. Aracyne pays it forward. Gric...

The party heads back down into the maintenance tunnels to search the facility nestled in the dark part of the grid, having now reached an agreement with the tentacats for permission to move through their territory. Turns out there's rather a lot to find. Vons is *not* not all who wander. Aracyne has an almost-kiss. Wealthy accidentally overcharges. Grickx is concerned about timing. Elara's chill a...

The party crawls their way back out of the maintenance tunnels to try and recharge before another day of descending into the deeps. Not everything that happens in the tunnels stays in the tunnels, however, and they find they have to deal with some rather sticky consequences. Also, donuts! Wealthy has impure thoughts. Vons has a sleepover. Grickx has his concerns dispelled. Aracyne talks it out. Ch...

Hey everyone! No new episode this week. Sometimes life comes at you sideways, or at least prevents you from managing to release a podcast episode at its originally scheduled time. We'll be back to our regular schedule next week! Until then, stay safe and well. We'll see you soon. :) Check us out online! We're at https://primaryattribute.com

The party may be safe, but with tentacats you can never be sure. Especially when they keep saying you're food. Negotiations continue as the promised supplies arrive on the scene, along with a few unexpected guests. Vons is invisible in social situations. Grickx sends someone to the Shadow Realm. Aracyne has Too Much of a Day. Wealthy assumes there's two sides to every conversation. Check us out on...

The party's separated and held hostage by tentacats (or possibly holding them hostage, depending on point of view). Except for Vons and Wealthy, who are merely held hostage by BELOVED NPC Gex's snark. And rusty ladders. And their own curiosity. Wealthy finds a situation where she *will* charge in. Aracyne explains it's not what it looks like. Grickx is congratulated. Vons lives the life aquatic. C...

The party struggles to find each other and escape their perilous situation in the lair of the tentacats. At the rate they're going, they might not even get any treasure at the end of this! But then again, isn't the real treasure the friends we made along the way? Wealthy jumps at shadows. Vons is a thing. Grickx orders delivery. Aracyne meets an up-and-coming amateur Shakesperean actor. The GM nev...

The party's fight against the tentacat concludes! They're down a few members, but they're scrappy, and that's what matters. Meanwhile, Vons and Wealthy try to figure out how to deal with being trapped in darkness, with a hungry creature breathing down their necks... Elara has financial concerns. Aracyne is in the void. Vons reads thiefenscratch. Wealthy checks her inventory. Grickx overplays scrit...

The battle against the cat of shadow and tentacles continues! With Aracyne missing, the rest of the party tries to keep it together, take down the creature that took her, and weather the effects the magic goop. It's a stressful time inside the world's worst lava lamp. Vons threads the needle. Wealthy can't find the right towel. Grickx is a good ferocious boy. Elara has mad hops. Aracyne's appearan...

The party faces off against a giant, tentacled cat in a room full of molten magic. Spells fly, people are picked up by other people, and magic goop is collided with as the fight gets rolling. Wealthy didn't watch Willy Wonka. Vons can't read. Aracyne hears the ocean. Grickx frees his mind. Check us out online! We're at https://primaryattribute.com/

The party descends down into the maintenance tunnels to follow Grickx's investigation into the death of his friend. They actually remember to prepare this time, in flagrant disregard for on-site procurement SOP. They even remember to tell people where they're going! They don't get any codec frequencies, though. Wealthy experiences a fear in her heart. Vons goes through a trial to survive. Aracyne...

Aracyne meets with Nara, and tries to plea her case. Nara isn't so easily moved, however, and will need some convincing. Meanwhile, the rest of the party has a perfectly pleasant time making new friends, training on their new gear, failing to understand business, and learning about the world around them. Wealthy takes a quick continuing education course. Aracyne has lewd thoughts. Vons is tempted...

The party has gathered together, and we join them as they discuss overthrowing the government. They, of course, have no reservations and are ready to engage in the most radical acts and do anything necessary to achieve their goals. Definitely. We also narrowly avoid at least one conversation about accounting. That's something, right? Totally anticapitalist move, right there. Grickx considers makin...

Our grand experiment in post-modern montage approaches its end. The party achieves some long-awaited goals and gains some new abilities. A sandwich atlatl is proposed. Most importantly, the Prophecy comes to pass. Grickx considers becoming a god. Wealthy bakes bread. Aracyne outlines the conditions under which she'd volunteer to be a practice target. Vons faces off against feathers. Shield is acco...

It's our 50th episode! Thanks for sticking with us, and we hope you keep on enjoying our show for a long time to come. :D We approach the end of our Bold Experiment in Montage That Transcends the Medium (BEMTTM). The party tries doing new things, like moving shop, engaging in this thing known as "work," and finding new books in the library. Only some of them turn out to be horribly regrettable! Gr...

Our prestige miniseries continues with the party pressing on in their training and putting down roots for further growth. There's study sessions, horrible grandparents, a friend waking up from a borderline coma, and the blowing up of spots! It's like Gilmore Girls by way of General Hospital! Aracyne finally makes it as an unpaid intern. Vons gets real about his estate. Grickx provides the finest k...

We wrap up week two of four of our montage! A speedy 3 episodes in! Aracyne syncs back up with the time stream, and everyone meets at a bar to catch up. And be mad at each other. Or just awkward. Friendships are complicated, okay? Aracyne violates the return policy. Grickx invests in R&D. Vons's past shows up on his doorstep. Wealthy hits the books. Check us out online! We're at https://primar...

(We recommend reading the title in Aracyne's voice for maximum effect.) In the second episode of the montage (shush, you), the remaining party of Grickx, Wealthy, and Vons searches for Aracyne, who's gone missing on them. Everyone brings their own approach to the task at hand. Some of them even work! Wealthy uses her hat-based powers to find the trail. Aracyne catches up on her correspondence. Gri...

We cut away from the party's montage to cover what Aracyne's been up to. Turns out it's not just partying! Instead there's disguises, stakeouts, copious amounts of poison, and an assassination mission. Which goes completely smoothly and definitely doesn't break Aracyne's worldview. Totally. Aracyne spills a drink and gets a new cloak. The GM is slow at math. Vons, Grickx, and Wealthy have a relaxi...

We start our highly efficient 4-week montage where the party members train up, make connections, and improve their skills as part of leveling. And cover one whole week. It's a slow-motion montage. Very high-concept, very avant garde. 100% intentional. >.>;;; Wealthy goes to office hours and meets a fellow researcher. Vons does the grossest thing yet. Aracyne slips away into her own episode (...

Everyone heads home, dirty and exhausted, after their rescue of Cog from the depths of the maintenance tunnels. The proper authorities are retroactively informed, loot is divided, some people pull off the transition back to daily life better than others, and we meet some delightful new characters on a date night. Vons is vulnerable to a vixen. Aracyne is totally, definitely, absolutely fine. Grick...

It's our 2021 Solstice Special! Or whatever winter-ish holiday of your choice! This solstice we would like to formally invite you to attend a party at the home of Grickx and Wealthy. There will be dinner, drinks, the airing of grievances, white oliphant games, and general merrymaking! All you have to do is bring yourself. The party, though? They have to bring their best sweaters with them, too. Vo...

(Special Announcement! Be sure to keep an eye out this Friday (12/24) for our holiday episode! There are SWEATERS.) With a pile of invisible monsters swarming towards them, and a new ally by their side, the party makes its escape from the underground facility. Will they make it out of the maintenance levels intact? More importantly, will they finally solve the riddle of the mystery square? Aracyne...