Primary Attribute Incorporated

Crammed into a small emergency bunker after barely escaping the storm with their lives, the party tries to figure out what to do next. Meanwhile, they search for more tolerable long-term shelter, and the lockdown drives them to get at each others' throats. Wealthy doesn't want to go, but she can't stay here. Vons has a stirring conversation. Grickx looks for a sublet. Aracyne gets punchy. Check us...

On the outside of the Arx during a howling storm, the party tries to take down an enormous bird-creature made of shadow that falls off of it like smoke as it threatens to shred the party to pieces. On top of that it already has Vons in its grip, Wealthy's having a little bleeding out trouble, and there's a bunch of civilians around. Because nothing can ever be easy, it seems. Aracyne picks up a fe...

It's time for our second annual Halloween special! We're old enough to have annual traditions now! Aaaaaaa! Wealthy wakes up. Things go downhill from there. Wealthy is trapped in a metal box. Wealthy is tied down. Wealthy is trapped in a metal box. Wealthy hears singing. Wealthy is trapped in a metal box. Wealthy doesn't know how she got there. Wealthy is trapped in a metal box. Wealthy is blinded...

The party risks life and limb as they try to find Grickx on the outside of the Arx during a storm. Through driving rain, harsh winds, and killer corrupted creatures, nothing will stop them from reaching their friend. Hopefully. Grickx taunts a bird. Vons gets a grip. Aracyne only has one knife. Wealthy drops something. Read 'The Most Dangerous Game' (1926) by Richard Connell. https://gutenberg.ca/...

The brewery opening is derailed! Grickx fights to get himself and his patrons back inside the Arx after lockdown while the rest of the party fights to get out of the locked down Arx to go find Grickx. They bring along enough NPCs to make the CK blush. We lose track of Gex, the hero of the story. Wealthy grapples with gravity. Aracyne is just a little tipsy. Grickx doubles down on dragons. Vons kee...

Note to new listeners: Hey, if you're new this is like the start of our Season 2, if we did seasons! This or the previous episode are solid jumping off points if you don't want to binge the archive. The previous episode would be the cold open and this would be the first scene of the season proper, if that helps you choose. We join the party at the brewery's grand opening! They're level 5 and nothi...

Note to new listeners: Hey, if you're new this is like the start of our Season 2, if we did seasons! This or the next episode are solid jumping off points if you don't want to binge the archive. This would be the cold open and the next episode would be the first scene of the season proper, if that helps you choose. We catch up on Vons's dreams during the time skip! It's all fluffy clouds and rainb...

We finish our time skip! The party goes and does their best to wrap up their long-term investigations as the clock runs down. Will Aracyne get her grandfather's trust? Will Vons get the brewery up and running? Will Grickx manage to keep his honeypot scheme going? Will Wealthy ever manage to actually kiss the girl she's dating? We roll piles of dice to find out! Vons lets two parts of his life meet...

We start our time skip as the party levels up to 5! They figure out what they're going to do with all that copious free time when they're not training their asses off. Breweries are built (finally), dating is failed at, and clandestine operations are continued. Turns out time management is the greatest adventure of all~ Don't worry, there's only two level up episodes this time. :D Aracyne spends t...

The party heads down to the Department of Investigations with their arrested, handsome, and/or unconscious rogues and tries to get some answers. What they find out rocks them to their core. Vons feels the gravity of the situation. Aracyne drops off a delivery. Grickx puts the pieces together. Wealthy struggles with setting priorities. Bartholomew commits to the bit. Check us out online! We're at h...

Aracyne and Grickx are pinned down as they attempt to get back to the city from Dr. Groves's lab. Are the approaching people friend or foe? And, more importantly, are they attractive??? Meanwhile, Vons and Wealthy have a slumber party. Wealthy doesn't consider jurisdiction. Aracyne's a chill bro. Grickx forgets all about opsec. Vons yawns. Check us out online! We're at https://primaryattribute.com...

The party investigates the whereabouts of one Professor Jenkins. They also try to recover the strange machine from Dr. Groves's lab. Shit's heavy, y'know? Grickx blows something up. Vons gives someone a discount. Aracyne gets a hug from a sucker. Wealthy finds vintage clothes. Check us out online! We're at https://primaryattribute.com/ Fun fact! Turns out you *can* make paper from mushrooms: https...

After collaboratively looting Dr. Groves's office, the party engages in capitalism by going shopping. And then argues about capitalist labor practices. We're on-brand, y'know? Aracyne goes hard on an accent. Grickx leaves a message. Wealthy assembles a tower of knowledge. Vons tries to inspire The Youth. Check us out online! We're at https://primaryattribute.com/

Plots and schemes brew at the brewery when the party meets late at night to catch up with each other's progress. They hatch a plan. Turns out, not everyone agrees with that plan, and one of them decides to take matters into their own hands. Grickx pulls a wire. Aracyne gets the spray bottle. Wealthy's left holding the rope. Vons has a unique take on fences. Check us out online! We're at https://pr...

The legal trials are over so now the party gets back to what they do best: spying, sleeping, and freaking out about their relationships. Grickx almost forgets something. Aracyne engages in mail tampering. Vons sleeps, perchance to dream. Wealthy gets book-blocked. Check us out online! We're at https://primaryattribute.com/

It's time for Wealthy to go to court! The party has her story all figured out and the inspector's accepted it, so it should all be smooth sailing. She might not even get executed for trespassing! As long as no one interrupts the proceedings... Wealthy gives a speech about injustice. Grickx objects to the judge's judgement. Aracyne violates library protocol. Vons enjoys a front-row seat. Check us o...

The party boldly strides forward into Fantasy Sunday, an excellent day to plot, plan, and most importantly panic about their lives. They've got just 24 hours until Wealthy goes to court, and every second counts. Vons has a relaxing time in nature. Grickx makes plans to canoodle over noodles. Wealthy guns for an enchanted item. Aracyne plans an exit strategy. Check us out online! We're at https://p...

The party faces their greatest enemy yet: the legal system, as one of their most ridiculous actions to date catches up with them. Luckily they have an airtight story all ironed out. Wealthy is a shining exemplar of poise. Vons forgets to file a requisition form. Grickx doesn't want to put labels on things yet. Aracyne encounters her boyfriend's past. The CK still can't do accents. Check us out onl...

The party makes it to the morning after a long and eventful night where the concept of a centrifuge was researched, and some other stuff happened. It was a struggle, where blood was shed and private places were infiltrated. But at least no one's dying, right? Funny story… Grickx updates his paperwork. Aracyne makes tea. Vons goes in for a hug. Wealthy gets tied to a bed. It's our one year annivers...

It's a long night for the party as they grapple somewhat bravely with their ongoing struggles. We pick up right where we left off, with fights, nightmares, getting laid, and Gex… Grickx examines a bookshelf. Wealthy finds her rope. Vons commits violence to vases. Aracyne listens to her grandfather. Check us out online! We're at https://primaryattribute.com/ We mistakenly say the Book of Erotic Fan...

The night isn't over yet as the party moves in on Corva. Or at least one of them is making moves on her. The others are sleeping peacefully, like cowards. Though that doesn't last long! Grickx acts on impulse. Aracyne gets a cookie. Vons is on the beach. Check us out online! We're at https://primaryattribute.com/ Note: Kelly had to step out suddenly during recording, so there's essentially no Weal...

The party's stakeout of Corva continues, this time with wildly different results as Grickx and Wealthy take the helm. Paths are hiked, messages are sent, and cold is felt. Also spoiler warning for Jurassic Park III (2001), of all things. Wealthy dreams of home. Grickx takes a nap. Aracyne has a check-in. Vons comes knocking. Check us out online! We're at https://primaryattribute.com/ Bonus Fun Lin...

The party finishes planning, and gets down to business. The business of a little lighthearted surveillance in the dangerous outdoors. Vons gets out his blanket. Aracyne proposes a novel strategy for leaving one's job. Grickx grills an ally to determine their true allegiance. Wealthy gets a weave. Check us out online! We're at https://primaryattribute.com/

The party figures some shit out. Like what they want to do with their lives! Y'know, little simple easy things like that. Vons shirks paternal responsibility. Aracyne wants to restrict access to books. Wealthy asks someone for the small favor of treason. Grickx just needs someone to be his Spiro Agnew. The time paradox makes a guest appearance. Check us out online! We're at https://primaryattribut...

The party finishes recuperating from their latest misadventure, and learns some new things about everyone's favorite magic goop. Also, personal financial anxiety! Keeping it relevant over here. Wealthy has a shoulder-based epiphany. Vons has something in common with baby boomers. Grickx doesn't need JSTOR. Aracyne has The Talk. The CK manages to fail to do an intended accent three different times....