Premeditated

Ahoy Jurors! Avast! Land hoooooooo! On this episode, Charlie James foxtrots into the Law Offices of Premeditated with an absolute stunnah of a case: is a neighbor's nosey nose too nosey? The judges also find time to discuss Q-tips, dietary privileges and candle making as a small business. —Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on mundane micro-crimes or you just love watching s...

Hello America, it's been a hot summer and we've got the perfect podcast to quench your dry, dry mouths. On this episode, Jon Braylock (Astronomy Club, Comedy Bang Bang, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt) enlists Graham and Neil to deliberate the fairness in judging thirst traps. They also find time to pass verdicts on which of their body parts they feel positive about, spreadable cheeses and Jon&#...

Deception is the root of all HOT PODCASTS! Enter Marquis The Honey Bear, he puts the honey in honeypot. On this episode, Graham, Neil and Marquis deliberate hinting or "soft launching" your future break-up on social media. They also find time to pass verdicts on the Book of Job, paloma cocktails and terms for the two diagonal hip creases that lead to a man's ---! — Welcome to our channel! If you l...

Hello Jurors, welcome to Season 2 of our courtroom. We’re back and ready to put the “us” in “U.S.”.On this episode, Graham and Neil deliberate the term California Sober, more specifically saying "California Sober" out loud with words. They also find time to pass verdicts on dairy tolerances, sudokus and proper ball throwing motion.—Welcome to our channel! If you love passing judgement on...

Our phone lines are lighting up! No sorry, we can't lie to you. It's our duty as judges to tell the truth....we don't have phone lines. We have a G-Mail digital phone message system. But that is lighting up with voicemails from YOU! We continue PART 2 of our SEASON 1 FINALE by tackling your pressing social questions and quandaries. We've donned our wigs and ensconced ourselves in v...

Ring-a-ling! Someone pick up the phone! Caller ID says: YOU America has gripes. Social gripes. Etiquette is going unchecked left, right and center. Our beloved listeners from across the globe have cases they need solved. The law of offices of Premeditated are here to help. Through guided litigation, we lead our listeners through the murky legal waters of: Venmo request etiquette, breaking up over...

Who run the Court? GIRLS!! Who gives pets as gifts? Hopefully only people who intimately know your schedule and capabilities!! On this SPECIAL EPISODE of Premeditated our favorite improv group in town, Girls Night (Danielle Shvartsman, Jasmine Elist, Lizzie McGroder) drop by our law office to debate in the teenage-old question: should you give pets as gifts ? Are there be size limitations? Does th...

Human parents. The things that everyone, except Mork and Kyle XY, have. Love ‘em or hate ‘em, they’re the reason we all exist. But we’re all (biological) adults now. And adults kiss. So…wait, are you saying? Should we be smooching our parents?  Cheek, lips or tongue, our dear friend and future White Sox manager Haley OC has a ruling for each part of the face. She lays a lip-smacking legal smackdow...

Look who’s still here! It’s Jenny Zigrino, the queen of the bicoastal breakup. This week, Los Angeles’ avoidant nature comes face to face with a New York attitude.  We all know that relationships don’t last, but how do you handle that awkward dismount?  Should you flick your boyfriend’s forehead, just slap the guy, or send a quick text? Should you even tell your partner that they aren’t the one, o...

America, listen, parking lots are getting hectic y'all. You ever tried to "swing by" Trader Joe's on a Sunday morning? You ever backed into a fly-away shopping cart? And that's all before you have to wade through the ocean of clipboards guarding the door! It's all too much handle, unless your name starts with an L and ends in an izzie McGroder. The legend herself (@scootermcgroder) swung by the Pr...

Ding Dong! No, it’s not the death of the Wicked Witch. It’s the arrival of the elevator at a non-schedule floor. But, oh poop! Someone’s trying to get on! Act Quick! Do you: A)   Hammer Door Close B)   Heroically throw your arm in between the Jaws of Death C)   Pretend to do a  NYT mini crossword D)   Offer your fellow rider a Laffy Taffy This week’s leather dossier was brought to our desk by the...

A crisp autumn breeze on your face. Your hands warmed by a foil-covered casserole dish. Anticipation of spending quality time with friends fresh on your mind. The front door opens, you step into the foyer, a friendly Labrador wags their tale in greeting…but wait, would you mind removing your shoes? Record scratch. The scene freezes. It’s time we get the lawyers involved. Enter HALEY OC (@MILFWEEED...

Ooooh boy, we may have stepped in it on this one. There are picketers outside the courthouse! Our gavels are in hot water! No need to schedule your manicurist this week, Judges Neil and Graham are here to settle all your nail care needs. We take an archeological trip through human history to search for one reason why witnessing fingernail trimming is gross. Is our own mortality? Is nail the same s...

Oh gossip, that ancient pleasure. A victimless crime... right?  Right. This week we’re joined by Jenny Zigrino to dig into the social laws on hot, juicy gossip. Together, we can make America gossip again, and spill the proverbial tea into the Boston Harbor.  Is it only okay if it’s about someone your gossip partner knows? Can the courts institute men-in-black style gossip forgetting technology? Do...

What’s an excuse to party but not quite as special as your birthday party? That’s right. Someone else’s birthday party. And what’s more complicated than Italian physicist Gabriele Veneziano’s string theory? When your friend doesn’t want to do anything for their birthday but you think that deep down they may want you to actually do something but they don’t want to have to ask you to do something!!!...

At what point does "All Inclusive" become all exclusive? Here at Premeditated, we travelling to the Baja Peninsula to celebrate love. But are we supposed to give the well-travelled couple a gift? Does the wedding hangover necessitate a money hangover too? Oh the indignity! We'll deliberate on this question, gift registry culture, chips and guac and more. For our debut video episode,...

We're all people. We all walk around in society. We all get schitt in our teeth. The PROBLEM? Our eyes are attached to our face in such a way that we can't see our own teeth! Whether this is a new discovery for you or old hat, the esteemed lawyers at Premeditated Law, LLP have your back. We do what we're known for, and that is tackle unwritten social laws. Our good good friend, Will Sm...

You know how grocery stores stock their shelves by putting the new stuff at the back and pushing the old stuff to the front? Listen up Lucy, that's called First In, First Out. And well, hear our guest out, what if we FIFO'd our friends? On the Sweet Seventeenth episode of Premeditated, we invited our good friend Mudslide over to discuss when/how often we should hang with our peripheral friends. Ye...

Intro!

Okay, sure, there's some established laws regarding pedestrian rights. But...do we believe them? Do we adhere to them on 100% of our little strolls around the neighborhood? Unless you're some kind of boy/girl scout (nerd!), probably not! On this episode of Premeditated , co-judges Neil & Graham enlist the help of dear friend and litigator Ben Cassil to put some rules between those hori...

We've all been in a line (or on a line, if you're an East Coast Crusty). It's one of life's unavoidable occurrences. Death, taxes and lines. And YET, the corrupt US Government continues to leave lines as lawless as the 1800s Western Territories. For too long people have been crossing the line when it comes to being in one! That ends now! It's time for Premeditated to save the day. Join Neil, Graha...

Let's say you go out to eat with friends. Let's also say these friends order appetizers with the full intention of ordering a entrée later. What if they raised the  steaks  higher and suggest that you all order 'Family Style'? What do we do here folks?! Even if sharing food is your thing, how is a table of 3 supposed to split an order of 8 cream cheese lumpias???!!! Horror scenes s...

Imagine you're a member of a family. Imagine you're a man. Imagine you encounter another man. There is no decision more dangerous or more rewarding. What NOW? Do you extend one arm? Right or left? Both up high for a double high five? Should you put both arms out and say, "Up!" And IF you commit to the hug, do you remain firm, pull away or linger? Do you back pat or back SLAP! Tun...

Should we, as citizens, make reservations?  And if so, should we be offered a little grace with respect for punctuality?  Also, panthers aren't animals.  Our guest, Ben Messmer, brings an intriguing case file that promises to tickle your sleuthing fancy and leaves us pondering the depths of dining etiquette.  From sharing stories about Michelin-starred adventures to debating the merits of spon...

How long should you wait before you throw away a card? Consult the rules, before you offend your loved ones. Hosted by Graham Cameron and Neil Zumwalde insta: @premeditatedpod